To not see this girl again due to her looks?

[mileend2bermondsey]

OK so this is going to sound super shallow but I am genuinely confused as to what to do.

I met a girl through online dating about 2 weeks ago, we chatted everyday, one day til 4am! She seemed so lovely and we just connected immediately. We met for a date last night and as soon as I saw her I felt like just saying 'this isn't going to work.' Her pictures must have been very old or taken from a good angle. She is very, very overweight. On her pics she looked a little overweight but not flat out fat.

I decided to just give the date a chance anyway and we went for dinner. We got on pretty well and I enjoyed myself. But by the end sure I wasn't going to see her again but at the end of the date she kissed me by surprise. She was so soft and tender with the kisses and I really enjoyed it and we spend about 20 minutes kissing. We then went for another drink before going our separate ways.

Now I am confused. I DID have a nice time but I am not physically attracted to her so I can't see the relationship going any further. Shall I just tell her now? If yes should I bullshit a reason or be honest and say I'm not attracted to her? Will she believe me since I spent 20 mins making out with her?

So kinda WWYD really I guess?

[JeffsanArsehole]

What attracted you to Mumsnet to ask this for your first post?

[MrsMummyPig]

And I suppose you resemble Brad Pitt?

[OxfordCommoner]

Oh come on. Is this an invasion?

[FairNotFit]

OP has been on MN quite a long time, Jeff

[Maisieknew]

Jeff - this poster has posted loads

Don't know OP - I guess if you're really not attracted to her it's a waste of time but a shame if she's really lovely and so on, you know. Mind you I'm fat myself just now so that steers my view a bit!

[MoonriseKingdom]

Do her a favour and don't see her again.

She can do so much better

[horsewalksintoabar]

Don't see her again. Don't tell her you're not attracted to her. I'm afraid you'll have to just say "I am not 'there' right now. It wasn't quite 'it' for me."
You must be young. Don't kiss girls and go for a closing drink. You're giving off the wrong message. Lame. Anyway, ditch her now before the poor thing invests hope in this going somewhere.

[calamityjam]

I'd try another date. Just make it casual and see how things pan out

[Squooshed]

If you don't fancy her you don't fancy her.

Just don't string her along.

[plantsitter]

If you don't fancy her, you don't. If she's lovely and a good kisser I'm sure she doesn't need to be your sympathy girlfriend. Allow her to be free to meet someone who appreciates her properly.

[FarFromAnyRoad]

Just tell her upfront that you're a complete halfhead and she can and will do much much better. There. That was easy wasn't it.

[3rdSymphony]

Just point out to her that your penis circumvented your brain for 20 minutes and you were able to forget her massive unattractiveness briefly in the hope of a shag. I doubt she'll bother you again.

[JeffsanArsehole]

Nah, bet mileend2bermobdseys account has been hacked

[FairNotFit]

Um, I'm pretty sure the OP is female .

[CalmYourselfTubbs]

YANBU.
if there is no attraction, what can you do? its not your fault.
don't string her along and do not tell her why you don't want to see her again.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

Is mileend a man?

[FairNotFit]

However, I agree with PP that you shouldn't string her along.

[Fluffyears]

'I really like you but not in a romantic way I'm afraid' see easy and tells her she is nice just not your cup of tea.

[JeffsanArsehole]

Mile End is normally a woman.

[Maisieknew]

Are we positive it's not a woman - same sex relationship?

They do happen :)

[JeffsanArsehole]

She'd just split up with a bloke and moved back to her mums.

She could have gone to the other side but it doesn't read like she writes

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Just say you didn't really feel any chemistry and that you shouldn't go out again. And then do not go out again!
That would be massively leading her on. It's fine to like someone but not fancy them. I don't fancy very fat men either , but would be fine with a bit of a gut, bald patch whatever.
Just because you don't find obesity attractive it doesn't make you a terrible person, but be honest.

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Ooh, x post with Jeff

[mileend2bermondsey]

Mile End is normally a woman
I am a bisexual woman. Case closed.

Thanks for the replies. I just feel so horrible. I DO like her personality but I just don't see the point in carrying on if I'm not physically attracted to her. I can't change that.