I am very sorry, I didn't mean to not provide enough info. There's loads of back story unfortunately. I thought if I mentioned this, well it may be I'm being paranoid because of the background iyswim?
My partner dropped out of uni, we met when he was a pub landlord. His parent's company had funded him and he had other perks like a ice school and medical insurance. They lived outside UK and typical expats. My mil has never worked in UK. My fil was lovely but passed away suddenly and horribly of an aneurysm in 2004. My Bil has only just left home, he is hearing impaired and 34. Always with mil, who has an amazing and lovely circle of friends who have always been like their family. I got pregnant fairly soon after meeting DP, circumstances were not ideal but my and his families helped out and we did it. In laws were cool, apart from she loved her wine and called. Me apparently randomly a bloody lazy cow. The men just shushed her. After fil died we go over if possible, but. I am suffering ptsd, workplace bullying and in the middle of a sexual assault case. I have to leave work so we can not afford travel. My parents keep helping even though they're retired and not well off. Mil visits rarely, citing time issues and doesn't interact with us in between. All this time I try to boost conversation, contact etc with kids. I found her difficult, and the drinking scary but just handled it politely and was a good girl.
We then had to move back to near my home town as my darling mum was diagnosed with cancer. Much stress, but basically after. Being warned not to I accepted my mils.offer to buy a house for us as an investment. So we sold our joint house, and moved into a house in names of DP and Mil. Since then things have gone really off. Visits from Mil are rare, as if I'd care but I wanted my kids to have Grannies! I She'll send a card often late for their birthday and buy premium bonds. Last Xmas there were no presents from her for the kids, which was strange. She had before, nothing was said, WTF? All this was suffer able but she didn't come to my mums funeral and she was in the UK. I think that is really out of order
I am currently not working due to mh issues, my mum died in October and I think actually I'm pretty good considering I had ptsd and depression to start with following a hideous 3 years. My DP works two jobs and we have 3 beautiful kids. DP is not easy, and what is scaring me most is that he reminds me of her and I am beginning to think they are both control freaks. He has just spent last hour arguing at me about the like issue. It sounds silly, but it's really obvious his mum is the only one who hasn't posted and it just highlights her behaviour publicly this time. sorry for typing errors