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AIBU?

to be against my OH growing cannabis for personal use?

78 replies

betenoire2012 · 18/08/2014 23:20

My partner wants to set up a growing tent with one plant in our loft for personal use. He says it will be safer than him having to buy weed from strangers.
I'm worried as we rent our house and potentially the landlord might come or a workman or someone. OH assures me he wouldn't put me and the kids at risk and that he'd lock the plant away.
I feel pushed into a corner. He says he will continue to smoke it until his dying days (he's 36), and that he'd be much less likely to get caught than if the police pulled his car over on the street. He only buys small quantities.
We live in France where drug laws are apparently tighter. It's a lose lose situation for me, as he thinks I'm worrying unnecessarily. I just don't want this going on in our home, but he's told me he'll continue to buy off the street and spend our money on it if I don't agree. Help!

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CultureSucksDownWords · 18/08/2014 23:26

You know YANBU. He sounds like a man child. Smoking weed full stop would be a deal breaker for me, but there you go.

Why does he get to disregard your valid opinion on this and not take your views into account?

magimedi · 18/08/2014 23:26

He is putting your rented home at risk. You would be chucked out if his growing is discovered.

Personally, I would tel him to give up the habit or I'd be off.

Frankly, he's being a selfish twat. He puts his drug use before you & your children. What a wonderful father ..............

Topseyt · 18/08/2014 23:29

I wouldn't want anyone growing or smoking cannabis (or doing any other drugs) in the same house as me or my children at all.

I just don't think I could live with someone like that. That is how I see it. If he is smoking cannabis now he could turn to something even worse in the future. I wouldn't risk that and would have to get out.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/08/2014 23:30

Errrrrr, he's an irresponsible manchild who spends family money on drugs, effectively taking food from your DC's mouths and clothes from their backs.

I'd tell him to grow up or fuck off.

Daddypigsgusset · 18/08/2014 23:30

Yanbu
Tell him to do one to spain. We have a whacking great big one on our balcony. It is very much admired by all who pass it

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/08/2014 23:33

The only way i agree with cannabis is for medical reasons.

AnyFucker · 18/08/2014 23:36

"I will smoke it until my dying days"

I would put him out of the house for that comment alone

VanitasVanitatum · 18/08/2014 23:40

Cannabis is being found increasingly to have medical benefits, and I don't think in the majority of users 'leads' to anywhere else, but growing or smoking it in the house with kids just does not feel right at all.

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/08/2014 23:41

Unless medical reasons like multiple sclerosis or the side effects of chemotherapy and HIV/Aids treatments and Crohn's disease. Then I wouldn't risk our home and a criminal record.

oaksettle · 18/08/2014 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tikimon · 18/08/2014 23:46

I don't know how many drug dealers you've met, but the ones I have weren't very nice people. Do you want those types of people to know where you and your children are? More importantly, do you want to be potentially kicked out of your house because your DH wants to light up?

When cigs first came out, people thought they were good for you to. You're putting a foreign substance in your lungs. It's stupid to pretend that's a good thing.

I'd ditch him, honestly. I told DH if I ever caught him smoking even cigs I'd kick him out. I refuse to be married to a smoker, it smells terrible. You don't want your children thinking this is ok or acceptable behavior either.

ThatBloodyWoman · 18/08/2014 23:47

I can see both sides.
Yanbu because you are a bystander and the consequences of being caught could be quite catastrophic.Don't know what the laws are in France, but I imagine there would be a harsher penalty fo growing your own than being in possession.Its not a risk free exercise growing your own -the smell could be very obvious to neighbours.Also how about the effects on your well being -the paranoia, the fear of people coming round in case they suss what's going on etc.

But...yabu in that you know you are with a partaker of weed yet you refuse to acknowledge the associated risk.If you chose to stay with him, then you also choose to take on the risks his lifestyle presents.He says he will smoke it till his dying day -I think he will either smoke it and you'll be with him, or he'll smoke it and you won't.He's not going to change.

You need to decide if you are going to make a stand on him not growing it in the house.You can't stop him smoking it, so assuming you won't leave him, at least if he carries on buying it on the street he is alone in his criminal activity..While doing it in the house he's implicating you.

Put your foot down.

LegoCaltrops · 18/08/2014 23:48

Presumably, if it were to be discovered in the house you both live in, you could both be prosecuted for the offence? Cannabis plants are fairly pungent, does he realise that - people do stop noticing smells they are used to smelling all the time, but I bet your neighbours will notice if he starts growing it.

FloozeyLoozey · 18/08/2014 23:48

Cultivating a supply could be seen more seriously in the eyes of the law than mere possession. Whatever people of the drug itself, it is illegal and carries the risk of prosecution. People do go to prison for the supply of cannabis. Not worth it.

Floop · 18/08/2014 23:51

If he had his own house he could do whatever the fuck he likes, because the penalties would only be his to bear.

Like fuck would anyone get away with growing in my home.

ChoccaDoobie · 18/08/2014 23:51

I know 2 people who have gone to prison for this, in fairness one of them was also dealing. Absolutely not worth it and totally unacceptable, especially as you have kids.

DaisyFlowerChain · 18/08/2014 23:52

I'd have knocked the relationship on the head as soon as I found out about the usage and certainly would not have had a child with somebody that uses drugs.

Tell him no plant and no more use. If he says no, then he is showing drugs mean more to him than his child.

OohQuack · 18/08/2014 23:57

2010 my EX decided to grow his own weed in my house, 2011 he was the ex.

OohQuack · 18/08/2014 23:59

Id refuse to ever go with a weed smoker ever again after ten years with the man child ex. He will never quit because he doesnt think its wrong, that attitude is wrong.

HilariousInHindsight · 19/08/2014 00:01

You are still with this charming, selfless man because...?

HeySoulSister · 19/08/2014 00:13

Yuk! He doesn't care about you or the dc.... What can you gain from being with him?

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/08/2014 00:17

Yanbu. There is a very big chance of getting found out, whether neighbours reporting the smell or your landlord or workmen spotting it. If you're lucky the landlord will just evict you.

weekendninja · 19/08/2014 00:18

Not only would I not do it for the reasons above - surely it would be a fire hazard with the lamps, etc?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/08/2014 06:27

He's offering you two options both of which are risky for your family. Neither option would be acceptable to me.

itsbetterthanabox · 19/08/2014 07:08

He will buy anyway so it'll be pointless. Homegrown is very weak compared to what you buy that he will need so much it will all be gone before anymore has time to grow. It will be an extra risk for no benefit. He will definitely still buy from dealers.
Does he smoke everyday? If so how much?

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