I've hit 21 and a half stone. I am ashamed of myself.

(119 Posts)
Babs48 Sun 27-Apr-14 17:32:05

I need to change; I'm tired, irritable and am avoiding seeing my family due to my size. They have all told me that if I carry on I will be 'the size of a house'.

I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.

I need a diet where the amount of food is measured for me and I know what to eat when to eat.

I'm getting heart palpitations and severe pain and fatigue.

I am ashamed, I don't want to go out because I feel judged and everyday tasks are such a struggle.

This is me asking for help, I don't know why I have posted it on here I'm just at such a loss about myself.

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:03:29

I used to be 21 stone and lost 10 stone with SW in 2002/03. I lost a stone a month for 7 months and it took a year to lose the last 3.

Last August I was 16 stone 10 im now 14 stone 7 im back at SW. it takes a lot longer to lose the weight now im in my 40s. And ive HAD to cut the portion sizes I no longer have pasta OR diet coke.

And please PLEASE don't lose the weight too quickly. I will link a thread in here to explain why.

Flappingandflying Sun 27-Apr-14 18:03:30

I think good on you. You know you have a problem, you've identified the root - the portion sizes so actually that is further on than many. What Michael Winner used to do is not change what he ate but halved everything. So start by putting what you would normally eat on a plate then chop it in half and throw the excess away so you can't go back. Today I saw in Tesco some normal utensils like kitchen serving spoon, ladle, slice, etc that were called 'one portion' so using them would portion out the food for you.

Another idea. My son has to carb count everything because he is diabetic and we have a brilliant book and ap called carbs and cals. It shows photos of different portions of food, ie, mashed potato with the carbs and cals so you get a page of six portions of mash with the amounts. Takes a while to start off with but after a while you just know what the amounts are. This type of visual cue might really help you because weights and measures are too abstract and too much of a faff.

You will lose weight. Cut out all fruit juice and fizzy drinks. Drink lots of water. Cut out all takeawys. Add in colourful food. If your food is brown that's not too good. Ensure there are patches of green on the plate.

You can do it. Now...can you motivate me?

MissDuke Sun 27-Apr-14 18:06:04

Hi Babs. I have been where you are. I was always bigger than my peers, and remember being weighed at the doctors when I was 14 and I Was 14 stone. I met my hubby when I was 17, and was a size 16-18. My weight went up and down and I was a size 16 when we married. I ballooned when I was pregnant. I ended up a size 24. I then lost 4 stone with ww to become pregnant again, and after the birth I was again a size 24 and 21 stone. I started ww again when he was 2 weeks old just myself at home, and returned to classes a few weeks later. I was very determined and lost weight every single week and a year and a bit later I weighed 11 stone 10 and was at target. I dropped down to 10 stone 10 at my lightest and have since stabilised at around 12 stone. This was 5 years ago, and I have had a baby since.

I still obsess about my weight if I am honest, and am always on a diet but I am so happy. My life has changed unrecognisably since then, I even gave up work to pursue my dream career which I am doing very successfully so far. Until then, I had terrible self esteem and thought I could never achieve anything. Now I feel I can do anything I put my mind to.

I suppose I am saying if I can do this, you can - I promise!! You need to focus on your motivations and break it down into little chunks, I never ever thought beyond the next half stone. Even losing a couple of stone will do a huge amount for your health. Try and get more active too. At first I just parked further away from work, took the stairs instead of the lift, spend more time cleaning the house etc with good music on! I built up gradually and now I cycle my commute everyday and go to the gym twice a week. Just build up a bit at a time x

aermingers Sun 27-Apr-14 18:06:07

You can do WeightWatchers online so you don't need to go and register. Or you can do something like dietchef where pre-prepared meals are delivered.

Or something like lighterlife or the Cambridge diet where a lot of it is shakes and you're supposed to lose rapidly.

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:06:54

What happened to me is in this thread here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1824580-to-think-the-diet-industry-is-utterly-evil

I lost it too quickly and became ill as a result.

Sirzy Sun 27-Apr-14 18:07:18

If you are on facebook search for HOOP (Helping Overcome Obesity Problems) they have a fantastic closed support group which is full of people facing similar battles and at different points in their battles so is a great source of support.

having admitted you have a problem is half the battle. I agree with going to see your GP depending on area they can access a variety of different support.

It is hard to chance, and ultimatly only you can make the change but take any help and support you can to get there. See it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet and even if it is a case of making one small change at a time its steps in the right direction.

Good luck!

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:07:43

Yes airmingers And develop gallstones as a result

Prettykitty111 Sun 27-Apr-14 18:09:42

Hi babs you can do this. I lost alot of weight on ww. First going to meetings but then online. I have a stone left to go. You "might" be the biggest person at that meeting but you know what? everyone else there was probably the "biggest" person there on their first week. Everyone will know how you feel but they were all in the same boat as you.
I remember hiding outside terrified my first week and sneaking in at the end to be weighed. But once I started seeing the numbers and watching the lbs drop away I got more confidence and starting going to the start and sitting through the talks. We would never dream of being mean to a new person because that was us once!
The sooner you start the sooner you turn your life around. Now I can eat a piece of chocolate AND put the rest back in the fridge for later. I never thought I could do that!

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:12:11

Pretty I do that too. Now I only eat choc on special occasions so I had some at Xmas and then at Easter. The next treat is my birthday cake in June

I know how you feel op. The doc told me its make or break regarding ny weight. Im going to need the cpap machine for sleep due to sleep apnea and may need oxygen long term because im so nig.

all this can be solved if I lost weight.

I too need someone to tell me what to eat and when. We dont have a diet chef thing where we are. If you need a bud im here! Im going to start this week. I know drastically changing wont work so im going to redyce my portion size, meal plan and NOT EAT TAKEAWAY!!! For one week. Here goes!

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 27-Apr-14 18:16:21

Calculate how much calories you eat ATM and then cut 300 calories down. Once you get used to that cut it down slowly another 300 calories until you eat the recommended calories.

I find that suddenly cutting 1000 odd calories a day will leave you feeling hungry.

ILoveYouSamStarman Sun 27-Apr-14 18:17:33

Drink masses of water. Eat plain yoghurt and small amounts of fresh fruit, regularly.
Have breakfast daily - whatever you want. But the rest of the day, fruit and yoghurt and water. If you're desperate, porridge.
Walk. It won't be far or fast at first but do it anyway.
It works.

Babs48 Sun 27-Apr-14 18:20:06

I have many physiological problems which are associated with food.

I eat the same thing everyday but what I eat would honestly feed a family if not more.

I eat processed foods, ice cream, crisps, drink fizzy and carry on like this all day. My only motivation to exercise is walking to the shop (down the road) to buy it all.

I don't feel full, ever; I can eat and eat and not feel any effects. After about half an hour I'm eating again.

Just putting socks on I am sweating.

I can't believe I am admitting it on here but I find life so hard now, I have no influence on the world at all except the supermarkets profits.

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 27-Apr-14 18:22:27

Babs well done in admitting you have a problem it's the first step.

Sirzy Sun 27-Apr-14 18:23:27

Start by cutting out pop then. Or only have one glass with meals (not snacks, just your main meals) drink water instead.

Can you cook?

How far is your walk to the shop? For now try to just walk a little further each week. Build it up slowly. Its not a race, and long term change will take a while to establish

I have lost 5 stone nearly in the last year, I know it is hard to get started but it will be worth it. Take a photo of yourself tonight to be your "before" photo, that way you can see the changes as you lose weight and it will hopefully keep you going.

daisychain01 Sun 27-Apr-14 18:24:30

Hi babs you mentioned you have not yet seen your GP, and arent sure what they can do to help.

I would recommend starting your "new me" project (thats what it can be!) by making an appointment with your GP. This is about your general health and to get support to start the ball rolling. For a start they can take some basic stats like blood pressure and pulse, because what you will find as you improve your eating and hopefully increase exercise even if doing extra walking (as I know you need to care for your DCs as well), your general welbeing will improve and your bp and pulse will also change for the better. That can be a good morale booster.

Don't feel ashamed or give yourself a hard time, better to take some positive steps and be kind to yourself, its no crime being overweight, you will soon crack it, with all the support you get on here!

Also do it for the long term. No crash diets or faddy stuff. Your GP or practice nurse can give a basic food list, then you can use this as a basis to think about some healthy options. I know it sounds daft but dont call it a diet, as that has associations with being hungry and being deprived of nice stuff. Just see it as a new way of life!

Keep us posted!

Babs go to your doctor. Tell them you are ready to loose weight.
I weigh more than you. For 12 months I have been seeing a dietitian and a psychologist after a referral from my doctor.
They are all about the long term and are like cheerleaders if I lose a pound.

MissDuke Sun 27-Apr-14 18:29:44

Also, in my experience the key to keeping it off is in your motive. If you lose weight for a wedding/holiday then you will gain it back after that event. Much better to focus on your health for motivation then there is no end date to the healthy eating if you see what I mean.

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:30:38

Ive lost 2 stone since last August. My weight loss is quite slow this time. Ive dropped a lot more in inches though. A 22 to a 16.

In fact I was so concerned that it was so slow I went to the GP.

She told me she hates slimming clubs and this is one of the reasons why. She told me slow and steady is the best way to go. In fact after my experiences im thinking of starting a campaign to have slimming consultants undergo medical qualifications before they can run a group. You wouldn't have a drug or alcohol counsellor who had no proper qualifications I do not see why this should be treated any differently.

Betrayedbutsurvived Sun 27-Apr-14 18:31:02

You've taken the first step by admitting to yourself you have a problem. Don't underestimate how far you've come simply by doing that.

You say if you eat healthily you don't control your portions, but if you eat genuinely healthy foods larger portions will not matter so much. I suspect your idea of healthy eating can be improved on. So tell us honestly, what one days healthy eating would look like for you. I'm sure we can help.

OverlookedConfection Sun 27-Apr-14 18:32:24

Dear Babs, sorry to hear you feeling so low. You have taken the first step by posting. Now let's think about how to help.

Would you consider low carb? There is another bootcamp starting in a week and the support is AMAZING. you can eat lots of v tasty food, you feel full and you get good losses. I can't link on my phone but if you search bootcamp or the poster BIWI you will find it.

Take care and good luck. You are on the way yo a new healthier life. Well done and very best wishes.

pinkstinks Sun 27-Apr-14 18:33:58

HeyA, I am 25 and just over 20 stone. I have started ww this week because I hate myself at this weight.
It took a long time to admit any of this to myself let alone anyone else. I went to my dr and have been referred for 12 weeks for free to weightwatchers.
I have been 'on plan' for four days and I'm doing ok. After the first two it feels normal Ish...
I don't agree with all they say as it's very low fat focused and you can have fizzy. But I have given myself the week of doing it properly to see how much I could lose.
Pm me if you have any questions smile

Burmahere Sun 27-Apr-14 18:34:31

Babs don't be so hard on yourself sad. There is some good advice on here as ever - first stop your GP I agree.

Good luck smile

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Apr-14 18:35:45

Babs you can probably get away with eating larger but healthy portions and still lose weight You are only in your early 20s When I was 29/30 I got away with eating larger portions too.
its only now im older (40) that I HAVE to drop portion size or I don't lose.

Brummiegirl15 Sun 27-Apr-14 18:36:24

Hi Babs - I did WW online, you don't have to go to meetings. I never did! If you have an iphone or iPad then there is an app, alternatively just use the website.

My best mate has problems with her weight, she is size 22 and is desperate for a baby so she is on diet chef and swears by it.

Good luck!!

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