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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit miffed at this phone conversation I overheard DP having?

183 replies

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:41

Wasn't eavesdropping btw, was in next room.

'That's what I miss, mate, the chase, getting dressed up...trying your chances, seeing what's out there...ah I envy you, I envy you'

His friend must have then said, well actually you're lucky because he said 'Yeah you're right, yeah true'

AIBU to be a bit Hmm and Sad about this? Given that he has a great life, a beautiful ds, cooked for everyday, clean house etc? Wtf is he complaining about. Feel like clouting him around the head.

OP posts:
crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:41

Twat.

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JoinYourPlayfellows · 25/02/2014 10:42

Well now you know. He wishes he could be out on the pull.

Why are you doing all the housework?

Cluffyflump · 25/02/2014 10:43

Twatty thing to say, but he could well not have ment it.
He may well have been wary of rubbing his friends nose it it.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 25/02/2014 10:44

Id have called back "well, if this charmed existence isnt for you then you know where the door is"

Its not necessarily wrong to miss the single life but it is wrong to be so so envious of someone in that sotuation.

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:45

I don't do all of it but majority. I'm off with ds at the moment and he works full time.

No wonder he hardly initiates anything, he bored.

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Lj8893 · 25/02/2014 10:45

Yep. Twat.

I think you should be getting dressed up, trying your chances and seeing what's out there.

500internalerror · 25/02/2014 10:45

Could well have been male bravado/bonding.

But don't we all sometimes hanker for the past or think the grass is greener?

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:46

Yeah the envious remark annoyed me. Wish I'd said something now, was very close to but bottled it.

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SaucyJack · 25/02/2014 10:46

Yes and no.

Having a clean house and dinner on the table might be useful, but it isn't sexy or exciting.

Any chance of you getting a babysitter and going out and enjoying yourselves?

AnyFuckerHQ · 25/02/2014 10:46

Sounds like twat banter

he will stop doing it when he is grown up

shewhowines · 25/02/2014 10:46

You can miss it though, without actually wanting it for real.

What was his tone like? It could have been just banter, or he could be deadly serious. Time for a serious chat?

evertonmint · 25/02/2014 10:47

I don't know. May be a bit twattish, but TBH one of the things you can miss in a long term relationship is the thrill of the new, the exciting, the flirtation, the anticipation. You can obviously have some of those thrills in a LTR, and lots of other benefits, but it is different and it is ok to miss it. It's not ok to act on it though!

If you have no other issues and are happy, I'd ignore. If it is upsetting you because you think he might act on it, then you may want to ponder what to do.

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:48

But he doesn't need to chase me Saucy

We should go out though. Might help.

Wish I could get dressed up but I have a sick ds!

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ahlahktuhflomp · 25/02/2014 10:48

Sometimes you have to boost up your single friends' lifestyle if you're concerned your idyllic family life sounds annoyingly boasty.

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:49

I don't think he would act on it, his tone wasn't that serious, banterish but he definitely meant it, which upsets me.

Just wish I hadn't heard it!

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JumpingJackSprat · 25/02/2014 10:49

Why is he a twat? Is he not allowed to miss his old pre kids life every now and again? I know i get nostalgic sometimes. Doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate you and your kids but it was a private conversation between him and a friend.

MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:49

It's a horrible thing to have overheard but he probably never really meant it.

Tell him you overheard. See what he says.

AnyFuckerHQ · 25/02/2014 10:51

Why did you "bottle" bringing it up with him ? What are you frightened of ? Can you not communicate with him ?

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:52

I've never heard him say how lucky he is or similar

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ahlahktuhflomp · 25/02/2014 10:53

Yeah, I doubt there is anything to it. Probably just trying to not be boasty, or even knowing you are earwigging tbh ;)

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:53

I don't know, I guess I was embarrassed that I overheard him and to then bring it up would cause him embarrassment.

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YellowDinosaur · 25/02/2014 10:53

What meepmeepvroom said. I fantasise about my pre kids life but I'd not swap back for anything. And I'd be gutted for the boys to hear me and think I didn't love them with every fibre of my being.

Is it not similar?

Thetallesttower · 25/02/2014 10:54

I miss going out all dressed up, without a care in the world, going on a date, the flirting, the whole thing, even though I love my dh- if I said this in a private conversation, I wouldn't be expect to be shot for it.

I even fancy men who aren't my husband. Again, I might discuss this with a female friend but it would be rude to mention it to him (I'm sure he feels likewise).

Some conversations shouldn't be listened to, now you know why it is bad to eavesdrop.

OnlyLovers · 25/02/2014 10:54

I miss single life occasionally, and am sometimes frightened/saddened by the idea that I may well never have a thrilling flirting session leading to a one-night-stand with another man again.

I don't really mean it, though, when the chips are down. I love my DP too much. I would be very wary of saying these things out loud IRL, and if I did ever need to say them, would make darn sure there was no way my DP would hear. It's very disrespectful.

crispyporkbelly · 25/02/2014 10:54

Part of me feels like if he feels like that after only 5 years and 1 ds then he's got a long ride left! And will he last?

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