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This is emotional blackmail. There must be laws against this, surely?

(244 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Fri 14-Jun-13 21:44:49

I can have them grounded arrested or something, no?

I got a lovely glitter painting from my DC. It's of a no smoking sign and a dead person hmm.

It has glitter gel pen writing on it.

It reads "Mammy, please stop smoking. It is bad for you. You will die a lot sooner than you normally would. It will make you really poorly. We don't want you to die [insert face with glitter tears]

People who want you to stop
[insert dd1, dd2 and DH's signature]

Me and dd2 and Daddy would want you to quit. It would make us very happy. We love you lots"

This is worse than those awful bloody adverts with the children.

Please tell me I can punish them? This is just wrong. Glitter should not be used this way.

D0oin, I was up to nearly 40 a day 11 years ago. I could barely cope at work, going hours between breaks. Plus the astonishing cost of cigarettes then, I think it's doubled since. I had to use nicotine gum stuff if I was going on a flight or something.
One day I woke up and I knew that was it for me. No more cigarettes. I was done with being dependant on something so stupid.
11 years, cold turkey, no aids, no patches. Hate it with a passion now.
Good luck, you can do it, if you truly want to.

deleted203 Fri 14-Jun-13 22:13:50

Pressure and guilt do not work. Neither does emotional blackmail. Everyone knows smoking is bad for you, but it's fucking hard to quit - assuming you even want to.

Would recommend Champix tablets from GP, however, if you do want to quit. After 30 years of smoking I tried these and gave up very easily 2 years ago. I have since started again, unfortunately, but am going to have another go - they really did help me not want a cigarette.

InkleWinkle Fri 14-Jun-13 22:14:24

Glitter you say?? Lock 'em in their rooms for the rest of the year at least!

Although, could you commit to them that you will cut down to start with?

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 14-Jun-13 22:20:14

I know I should quit but I love smoking.

I've tried half heartedly a few times, but never last more than a few days. My mum who quit a couple of years ago after many failed attempts has told me you need to be really ready to quit and I'm just not. I like smoking. I would miss smoking.

I know I need to give another. Bloody glitter paints and to add insult to injury it was me what paid for the bastard glitter paint.. I had to smoke cheap-y roll ups that week I spent half my money on craft stuff for the litte buggers.

I might order a couple of e-cigs and see which ones I like.

CocacolaMum Fri 14-Jun-13 22:20:54

it is not hard. But only if you want to quit.

I still crave it 7 yrs on but when that craving is getting to you there is a secret I learned..you just don't have one. Its really that simple. Now if only I could apply this to other things in my life..

Try this trick. Think of George Clooney whoever floats your boat. now, imagine they knock on your door and say, "I've come to whisk you away to Bora Bora wherever you fancy. Come with me now, my limo is outside". If your first thought would be, "but where are my fags and lighter" then you are me 10 years ago. The thought that I would rather use any drug than go to Bora Bora with George Clooney made me realise I don't want to be that addicted to anything.

If you are reading, George, I've given up smoking if Bora Bora is still on the imaginary table.

MalcolmTuckersMum Fri 14-Jun-13 22:22:51

Oh blimey D0oin I hear you. I loved smoking too. I really did. I miss it - be lying if I said otherwise. I dream about it. I follow people in the street so I can get a whiff of it. Others who have quit tell me this will pass. I hope so - it's almost worse than being dependant on them! Anyway - you'll do it when you're ready - and if you need support then you'll find it here. I found them especially nice on Chat where there was an e cig thread - dunno if it's still there?

SugarPasteGreyhound Fri 14-Jun-13 22:24:56

I agree, you need to want to. Someone who has never smoked won't understand this, but you need to be mentally in the right place IYSWIM. Quitting takes serious willpower even with a nicotine replacement aid, and if you aren't mentally committed then your chances of success aren't that great.

You will up one day and you'll feel it. What did it for me, was worrying every time I lit a cigarette that this one might be the one that started the chain reaction for as chronic or potentially fatal illness.

rootypig Fri 14-Jun-13 22:26:55

I love smoking D0oin. I quit to have DD (7mo) and have just started having the odd fag and it's LOVELY. all I can say is, if you just have a few, they're nicer. but then I smoke rollies so what do I know grin

Thisvehicleisreversing Fri 14-Jun-13 22:28:19

I used to lecture my DM about smoking when I was a very annoying child. I put little letters under her door begging her to stop.

She never did. Until 3 years ago when she was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Last month she was told another lung tumour has appeared and she's currently in hospital due to the chemo bringing on dehydration and infection.

I know it's the hardest thing to quit, but telling your kids you've got lung cancer is harder.

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 14-Jun-13 22:30:44

I was just like that, absolutely loved it. I only managed to give up because I fell pregnant. I completely get how hard it is, and you are right you need to really want to. Being pregnant has been the only thing to keep me off the fags. I never want to start again because if I don't have any more children I will never be able to stop off my own willpower alone.

D0oin - if and when you find yourself ready, some of us have a little quitting smoking support thread going and you would be more than welcome. I gave in to the same pressure (no glitter here though) from my DDs and tomorrow will be 336 hours two weeks without a fag. I'm quite astonished at myself actually.

Glitter upstairs?

Grounded! grin Your DH should no better.

No one cam force you to quit. I smoke and have no plans to quit. I tried a while back but it didn't last because as soon as I get pissed all I want is cigs.

zeno Fri 14-Jun-13 22:35:38

I did laugh, as it reminded me of us three kids putting a massive poster of superman and nic o'teen above my parents bed. We campaigned tirelessly for many years, and never gave up trying to help them to give up.

Sadly neither of my parents was ever really ready to quit and they are both now dead, before reaching retirement age, of smoking related disease.

The guilt I feel as a daughter for not having been able to save them is awful, and it is mixed up with being terribly cross with them for not trying hard enough, but also terribly sad for them that they got caught up in it in the first place. They are missing so much, and we are all missing them so much.

I hope something changes for you and that you will find yourself ready to quit. Good luck.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 14-Jun-13 22:36:17

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum Vehicle. I hope she recovers. The stupid thing is DH's father died of lung cancer so I know first hand the effect it has on children, even grown up ones.

I really need to quit don't I? sad Who made my children so bloody clever?!? They need hanging whoever they are.

I do love 'lighting' my e-cig in crowded places and then watching people start to cough and splutter. I can still entertain myself with that at least grin

My DD used to do that, I wish id listened because now at 16 she is smoking and I don't have a leg to stand on when I tell her to stop, so now we have a plan to give up together its a fact if you smoke your children are more likely to do so. But its bloody hard I don't care what people say, its easy for a few months but I always go back

Alan Carr Easy Way to Stop Smoking book: actually deprogrammes you from wanting to smoke. You can smoke when reading it. At the end you just don't want to smoke. No horror stories or guilt trips. 80-90% success rate. Written by a man who used to smoke 60-80 a day.

Unbelievable but look at reviews on amazon if you don't believe me. There are also half day group clinics which do same thing - look up Alan Carr method.

Here's the thread, all are welcome:

Quitting Smoking One Day at a Time thread

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 14-Jun-13 22:44:38

I have that book in print and on my kindle. I never ordered it on Kindle. I had to borrow dd1's Kindle for work when mine broke, when I got to work all of my Ice and Fire books had been deleted from her library and all that was left to read was Alan Carr's Stop Smoking book hmm

Someone needs to tell that child it is wrong to be so cunning and clever at that age or she'll end up ruling the world one day, then you'll all be sorry grin

NotYoMomma Fri 14-Jun-13 22:44:44

Im sorry but can I just say I nearly pissed myself laughing at the mental imageof a glittery dead person and a no smoking sign?

FOrsuch a serious issueit was a funny as hell OP lol

I have read that book loads of times, it is yet to deprogram me, the only thing that worked for me is champix but even then after 6mnths I got pissed had a fag and it was all downhill from there.

Trucks and it's such a sickening irony that he still ended up dying of lung cancer.

They clearly love you and want you to be healthy, and are scared you will die early or live with some debilitating breathing difficulties , yes what a horrid family hmm

How can you ground them for loving you?

If your children wanted to go play out in the road you wouldn't let them would you? That's dangerous too. Just because something is enjoyable doesn't make it less dangerous or more acceptable.

I'd be gutted that my family felt they had to go so far to get me to realise what I was doing.

Szeli Fri 14-Jun-13 22:47:56

I'm with rootypig I now hide my smoking from my son the same way I hid it from my parents 10 years ago (still do).

Managed to get to the point where it's the odd one socially and that way I don't feel like I'm 'not allowed' and therefore smoke less. Cod logic but it works for meeeee.

Certainly never buy glitter again

HootShoot Fri 14-Jun-13 22:48:28

They are clever and wise children! I completely agree that you need to really want to give up for it to work. I loved smoking too but gave up when my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer, she had smoked all her adult life. The ridiculous thing is when she was diagnosed as terminal I started again! She was 62 and I was 31 when she died - too young for both of us.

It was getting pregnant that gave me the willpower I needed to finally quit for good. Three years later and I don't miss it at all. I really hope you find the thing that makes you give up, whether its all glittery or not!

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