Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

(594 Posts)
crashdoll Wed 13-Feb-13 20:20:03

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 17-Feb-13 18:56:22

I completely agree with that Peonies.

If people are to have their normal and rational fears about organ donation allayed, then more honest information about the procedure needs to be promoted. I am completely unconvinced by what I read on the organ donation website, so it seems to me common sense to be wary of it.

At least with honest and truthful information, people who have concerns about their own or their loved ones bodies could begin to get their heads around it and may be persuaded to deal with it and sign up. To me, it seems that it's the least the service could do if they really are crying out for more people to sign up.

If they can't be completely open about what happens, then how are people supposed to be convinced that allowing their body to be used for donation is a good thing?

People that are convinced that organ donation is a good thing will not be put off.

PeoniesPlease Sun 17-Feb-13 18:44:56

Actually, I think we should all know exactly what is involved in the procedure before we consent for ourselves/relatives. Otherwise, it is hardly informed consent is it? I think that should apply for everyone, but the only people I am likely to be able to make decisions about on this basis are myself and my family.

Therefore, I wouldn't want to say categorically yes or no to organ donation for myself/relatives without more information about exactly what happens during the procedure, how they ensure the donor is indeed braindead, and why the donor sometimes shrinks away from the scalpel. I think organ donation is a wonderful thing but we all have to be aware of what it involves.

Andro Sun 17-Feb-13 17:34:21

Where as I find it difficult to believe that the lack of basic human decency with which my DH was treated during the push for consent, would change once out of view of none HCP's. My views haven't changes as a result of what I saw (they wobbled, but didn't change), but I was shocked to the core by what I saw and heard.

DomesticCEO Sun 17-Feb-13 17:31:28

Something, it's not a question of being bullied into it it's simply a case of saying if you won't give don't take.

Simple.

Maryz Sun 17-Feb-13 17:25:21

I would be surprised if all bodies were "callously hacked to pieces", andro.

Operated on, yes, but surely not callously? And not hacked?

I mean, it is a very difficult thing to do, to hand over the body of someone you love. I don't think dwelling on exactly what happens to them, or on the emotions of the people operating would make that any better.

Sometimes we make difficult choices, for the greater good. If we make that choice it isn't always best to know every little nitty-gritty detail.

I believe most doctors would treat bodies with consideration and respect, within the remit of trying to remove organs for transplantation as quickly as possible.

Andro Sun 17-Feb-13 17:19:55

Maryz - How can it be unnecessarily emotive if it's accurate?

Somethingtothinkabout Sun 17-Feb-13 16:55:43

It is emotive though, that's my point. It's such a difficult thing to think about, and some people can't bring themselves to do it for a variety of reasons, some religious, some from experience of what they've seen, some don't want to tempt fate, some squeamish, some ignorant. Whatever their reasons though, I don't think it's fair to try and bully people into it by describing them as "hate being too good for them" or "loathsome" etc.

The callously hacked was in reference to how someone who has seen it firsthand described it, I don't think people should be under any illusions as to what the procedure is like, and they can make their judgement based on the facts. Most, I'm sure, will still choose to do it, as will I.

It's a horrible thing to think about, I think it is best to try and educate people to the benefits of donating in spite of everything, not by bullying and manipulating people into it by making them out to be evil if they're not quite there yet.

Maryz Sun 17-Feb-13 16:17:07

Something, I'm not sure that "callously hacked about" is the right way to describe. Don't you think that language is unnecessarily emotive?

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Feb-13 15:21:09

I could have stealth boasted about their G&T-ness on here! Missed opportunity here.

"Are twins G&T? Asked them if they wanted to put on G&T organ donor register, and they smiled."

First poster- you're bonkers!

Andro Sun 17-Feb-13 15:16:50

6 weeks would have been a little young for that discussion grin ...just a little mind grin

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Feb-13 15:12:36

No, they were six weeks old at the time.grin I will discuss it with them when they're older, and they can remove themselves from the register if they wish.

They probably won't want to though. I remember deciding to put myself on the register when I was six, so with me around brainwashing them, they have no chance!

Andro Sun 17-Feb-13 15:09:31

TheBigJessie - have you talked to them about it?

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Feb-13 15:08:53

Pressed post a bit too soon.

I did hesitate at first for a few minutes, because it felt like "tempting fate" but I know that if the unthinkable worst happened, I would want their deaths to have meant something.

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Feb-13 15:07:32

I'm on the donor register. Callous though it may seem to some, I've also registered my children.

Somethingtothinkabout Sun 17-Feb-13 14:41:42

Agree with Fairy. I'm obviously not particularly bothered with what they do to my body but I appreciate that it would be EXTREMELY difficult to make that decision to donate your child's or partner's organs and then see them after they've been callously hacked to pieces.

As my wee DM is from the old school of nursing, she always holds the opinion that the people should be treated with dignity, even once they are old and infirm or have passed away (she always used to explain about the care her and her colleagues would take when wrapping up the bodies when someone had died, think it's as much for the family as anything else). That's why she found it so hard seeing he transplant teams swoop in with such disregard for it. yes, I completely understand that time is of the essence, but she just said she was shocked, and why she would struggle with someone doing that with her kids.

Anyway, yes it is good to know that you can help someone who really needs and deserves it if you were to meet an untimely end. I like to think I have tough little lungs, they get me round a half marathon course (just!) but they are apparently very small, so I like to think they could go to a little poorly child (please nobody stamp all over that dream now though, even if it's nonsense blush ).

FairyJen Sun 17-Feb-13 08:43:42

So you don't consider it goady to label people as "scum". Or to say "hate is to good for them"

Really? hmm

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Feb-13 08:33:34

I'm not goading anybody.

I can't imagine that a person who thinks themselves so much more important than all other people is remotely bothered by other people's good opinion.

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 08:32:57

I've just registered so thank you for posting this thread.

I couldn't care less if my liver goes to an alcoholic or my lungs to a smoker etc. If my organs could give even a few precious hours to someone else after my death then I would be delighted.

FairyJen Sun 17-Feb-13 08:22:33

domestic I do absolutely see your point about the timing being crucial etc however though you may not care about your dignity after death your loved ones may.

I think andro has given a perfect example of the damage that can be done by doctors being seen as grabby and uncaring.

FairyJen Sun 17-Feb-13 08:18:12

athing I say get a grip as like I said before there are people on this thread who have managed I put across their feelings and arguments without resorting to nasty contemptuous and goady name calling comments like you have.

Have some dignity. This is supposed to be and intelligent, adult debate there is no need at all to resort to nasty comments the way you have even if you don't agree with what another poster is saying

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Feb-13 08:16:39

And just to be clear, the problem is only with those who have a stated, considered policy of not donating but being prepared to take organs from those who are.

Non-donors who are not the worst kind of self-serving hypocrite I disagree with but am not disgusted by.

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Feb-13 08:02:23

I now have a very firm grip on the extent to which humans are prepared to exploit others for their own gain.

How I had failed to see that it extended to matters of life and death, of taking life and offering death, is beyond me.

I will not forget this wake-up call in a hurry.

Judging the immoral as immoral is reasonable.

Equating it to unjustifiable, unashamed immorality is nonsense.

FairyJen Sun 17-Feb-13 07:47:15

athing get a grip now. I've really tried I give honest an dignified answers to people on this thread however you are makin out like non donors are serial killers or something. Frankly it bothers me more that there are such judgemental arses as you in the world!

AThingInYourLife Sat 16-Feb-13 18:30:38

There are people on this thread and married to people on this thread who have considered the matter and have decided they are too good to donate but are deserving of other people's organs.

It's fucking terrifying to know that people such as that live amongst us.

Hate is too good for them.

SilverMoo Sat 16-Feb-13 18:22:08

As much as it would break my heart for my DC or DP to be 'incomplete' if God forbid the worst were to happen, it would break my heart even more to know that someone had died unnecessarily because of that fact...

I just hope they bring in an 'opt out' system soon... And those who 'opt out' (not for medical reasons of course) are also not allowed to receive.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now