Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

to think my ex is an absolute fucking bastard of the first order

(217 Posts)
11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:07:34

DD got her 11plus results today. She did really very well for her, put in a load of effort, and will get in to a grammar school. Just not the one he wants.

He said, in front of her, "Shit. I'm disappointed".

She has howled all day and it will take a great deal to pick her up again.

He is a bastard, yes or no?

[NOTE FROM MNHQ: Although we're sure it was meant as a joke, we have edited the thread title and OP to remove some beyond-the-pale violent imagery. Some subsequent posts making reference to the same imagery have also been deleted.]

Hesterton Sat 02-Feb-13 19:25:30

He has no idea does he, how much your dad can influence your sense of self worth?

Mine did stuff like this. My DD is 25 and made v good, in her own time. NOW he's proud of her. Good... I bite my lip, he didn't mop up her tears when she wasn't good enough, he made her cry.

She knows.

She enjoys his approval in some ways now - who can blame her, he's her dad - but she knows, and she is takes him with a pinch of salt and doesn't trust him, because she knows if things start going wrong for her again he will be disappointed in her.

Your DD will be fine in the long run... because she has you.

Aethelfleda Sat 02-Feb-13 19:25:54

You just build that girl up, OP. Tell her you love her, you're proud of her, and she did a bloody good job and did her best. She is going to love her new school, you will support her all the way, and she should ignore Daddy's whingeing, all her hard work has paid off and that's great.

In years to come she will realise that he has unrealistic expectations of her and that you were unwaveringly supportive. Good luck.

She's howling crying now? I wwould video her or record the sound and send it to him. Tell him that HE did that to her. His 11 year old daughter.

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:26:46

thank you all for understasnding. i'm so ANGRY i'm upset but not with her but with him. no matter what he thought or how he felt IT WASN'T ABOUT HIM TODAY IT WAS ABOUT HER. But he's so far up his own arsehole he can't see that. Cunty wanking bastard knob fucker shithead.

cocolepew Sat 02-Feb-13 19:27:47

What a dick

Well done to your DD smile

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:27:59

she's stopped now but oh god she howled it was awful. i have let her eat a pile of rubbish she had strawberry laces for breakfast and a kfc for lunch and pizza and ice cream and fruit shoots for tea and i don't even know if she has cleaned her teeth today.

blush

Euphemia Sat 02-Feb-13 19:29:42

Poor lass. sad

What a cocksucker. sad

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:31:47

Going to sit with them and watch a movie but I will be back.

Granitetopping Sat 02-Feb-13 19:34:04

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

redwellybluewelly Sat 02-Feb-13 19:36:35

Basterd.
Utter shit.

I teach at a university, we see increasing numbers of students who cannot thibk outside rhe box and are so so focused on the "right" answer to get the "right" grade they don't get what research is about. Alongside them are the srudents who are downright miserable, which have gone to uni as thata what you have to do but would be a million times happier on an apprenticeship or just doing something they truly enjoyed.

Academia is not for everyone, and intelligence and cleverness and happiness should not be measured by exam success. Your daughter will find herself and have faith in herself once she realises she wants to do things for her own self worth not boosting up the worth of your wankbadger ex.

Give her some more strawberry laces from me.

angelinterceptor Sat 02-Feb-13 19:38:23

Disgusting! My DN got her results today and got a great result and we are all proud as it means she has lots of options for schools.
A friends daughter also got results, she has been coached to the hilt and when I asked how did she do - the reply was that we are disappointed she didn't do as well as expected. ( but she still has done well enough to get in apparently) so what's the big deal about being disappointed.

Well done to you DD

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:38:29

She will be fine. It will be fine. She will go to whatever school she goes to and be whatever she wants to be. But he is a cunt.

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:41:26

We live in an area with 2 grammars to choose from. Both equally good in my opinion and when we looked around them, I preferred the one she will probably go to with the mark she got. He prefers the other one. That's all. It's still a grammar and it doesn't matter a toot anyway. She's healthy. She's (usually) happy. WTF else matters?

MissBetseyTrotwood Sat 02-Feb-13 19:54:27

Well done your DD. smile

Next Father's Day send him a card. Just write 'I'm disappointed' inside.

Euphemia Sat 02-Feb-13 19:54:29

I'm glad of two things:

(1) DD's dad is not a cunt;
(2) No grammar schools here. What horrendous pressure young people are put under. sad

Your DD will be fine, but her dad will still be a cunt. What's their relationship usually like?

magimedi Sat 02-Feb-13 19:56:01

LTB!

And well done to your daughter. What a star.

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 19:56:04

He texted me me "need you to contact <name of head> on Monday to organise meeting"

I replied "what for"

he said "to discuss her options and what to put on her form. I feel this needs clarified?"

I said "I don't see the need I have spoken to <name of head> a number of times through the year and am happy that I understand the options, and as far I am concerned the schools on the form will be x, y, z?"

He replied "I still feel a meeting with <name of head> would be useful"

To which I have replied "if you feel you need a meeting with <name of head> then you are perfectly free to organise one for yourself"

No way am I going to sit in on that meeting. What the fuck for?

magimedi Sat 02-Feb-13 19:57:56

Sorry - I've just read that he is your 'ex' so my LTB was superluous.

Blame it on the Saturday wine

And let the wankbadger organise his own meeting. How dare he tell you to do so!

magimedi Sat 02-Feb-13 19:58:38

superFluous - sorry!

McNewPants2013 Sat 02-Feb-13 19:59:10

Awwww I feel sorry for your Dd, what a twat of a father.

Congratulations to your Dd putting in all that effort, I have alway said as long as my DC try thier best the results are not important. There is always another route to take.

Ashoething Sat 02-Feb-13 19:59:25

I presume your "non-academic" 11 year old dd must have been coached to the hilt to even get the results she did? what horrible pressure for a wee kidsad

cozietoesie Sat 02-Feb-13 20:01:15

I'd be just a bit careful, 11PLus and make sure the school know how pleased you are with your DD's results. Otherwise - might he be the sort to go to a meeting and say 'Oh - and 11PLus is fully in agreement with me on this....' etc?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Sat 02-Feb-13 20:01:40

What a cock.

Love BetseyTrotwood's idea.

Punkatheart Sat 02-Feb-13 20:01:44

Tell her from me that she has done really well.

Tell him....well, maybe that's unprintable.

My ex just told me that a seriously depressed teenager (his deserted daughter) needs to 'move on with her life.' So I hear you and raise you one more true bastard.

Your DD with be OK - she has you, my love!

11Plustrauma Sat 02-Feb-13 20:02:05

Ashoe - no not coached to the hilt in terms of private tutoring, no. Helped by me, yes, but not privately coached.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now