Mumsnet Talk

booyhoo The "getting starstruck by the lifestyle he's showing her" bit made me think maybe she was talking about it as a more serious/long term thing.

mini hopefully she's not expecting too much if shes quite settled with the student life for now then.
She's likely to get hurt at some point by a relationship, and it's bound to be hard for you to see when it does happen as she's your little sister, but there's not really too much you can do unfortunately, you're best off staying supportive with her choices and just being there in case things do end badly.

In my 20's I saw a couple of blokes who were quite a bit older than me, and also had a fair measure of feckless idiots, and it's unfair of you to think this bloke might not be a feckless waste of space.

You can be old and feckless

Sometimes experience and a good lifestyle can offer you more than spontaneity and firm buns.

Yes warm cider, casual sex and shit music sounds much better doesn't it?

Bugger that.

I'm 21. My DP is more than double my age. I'll stick to our nights discussing philosophy, watching operas, learning about history and the rest, thanks.

A good friend of mine did this at about that age (or might have been slightly younger). Over 20 years on they are still happily married with two children (both children under 10, so they didn't rush into children). I think you need to keep your opinions to yourself.

the ones that fucked me over were all my age or younger.

I was 19 and seeing someone in his 30's fastforward 15 years and we are still together, married with 3 dchildren and still very happy and FYI I probably wasn't at the time getting my 5 a day but I thankfully survived

Same here Booyhoo... I'm totally with the OPs younger sister. I can't manage lads my own age.

rozzi maybe OP is worried that a man in his thirties can't manage 5 a day.

There's 24 years between me and my partner, but I daren't tell you our ages...

SirBoobalot, your post made me shudder more than the OP!! And I got married young!!

FFS mind your own business! It doesn't sound like she's serious about this man anyway, why shouldn't she have some fun and a few shags with anyone she likes? People in one's own age group can be arseholes as well.

I am 48 and idly contemplating the possibility of a date or two with a 25-year-old BTW.

I think 20 year olds can date anyone they like, as long as the other person is also an adult.

Their business.

I was 22 went I started dating my partner she was in her 30s still together almost 7 years later & very happy - as long as your sister is not vulnerable & he is not taking advantage then its none of your business leave her alone

i was much younger than her & seeing men in their 40's- i'd mind your own on this op unless you want to alienate her.

most likely "older" guy has wooed sis with a chilled bottle of Blue Nun !

Good point about the vulnerability robbins.

I think I was a bit vulnerable and unconsciously looking for something, which isn't a problem unless you happen upon a predatory male who's also looking for something, but not as benign as you'd hope for.

Some minds just fit together regardless of the body's ages, but then some men are not beyond using their experience and better financial position to seek out someone younger who can't see through the veneer these things can create.

Maybe all relationships are a trade off of one thing or another though?

You think that's bad, you should of seen my mums face when on Sunday 'Lil Sis' (19) bought home her new bf (43) who actually looked more like 60 really, mum was only a few yrs older than him, don't know how she didn't swing for him
Really though I would just leave her be, if you start getting all opinionated now she probably won't talk to you about it again.

one Sunday

You did inform the church elders didn't you? What did they say? <steels herself>

I was 23 and my husband 38 when we met. Married for nearly 2 years now with a three-month old baby, and we've got plenty in co.Mon. YABU

'Common' - stupid bloody kindle

Ehhhh ???

This is madness.

I met my dh when he was back at his mum's on a uni break. He was early 20s. I was mid 30s with (the horror) a 6 year old dd. I had my own house, a difficult ex and a mum from hell

We were perfect for each other and moved in together a year later.

Fast forward some years later, we are married, I am a sahm and we have a 7month old ds.

Was he too young for me?

Judgy pants.

I remember when I was 16 and had a brief flingette with a 19 year old. Massive age gap when you're that age/as naive as I was.

Looking back, I'm fairly certain my parents were horrified. But did they let on for a second? They did not. The 'romance' fizzled it out before it had time to even get revved up.

Only way to play it.

My DH was 15 and I was 25 when I first met him. He was 19 and I was 29 when we started dating. He was 23 and I was 33 when we got married. We now have 3 children and will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary this year.

How do you feel about them apples OP??