to think that having 8 DC by 3 different fathers may well have a detrimental impact on the DCs?

(380 Posts)
StuckForAUserName Thu 24-Jan-13 20:08:19

Especially as the first two fathers are not in the picture anymore so the 3rd husband is bringing up someone else's 6 DC and then a further 2 have been added to the household hmm.

The mother is effectively a single parent anyway as the latest DH is away a lot in the military. The oldest 3 are in boarding school though so there is only 5 DC full time at home. This is a middle class family btw not a family of 'benefit scroungers'. The mother states that 'her kids have a decent dad and will all be fine'. AIBU in thinking that it's terrible?

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 20:15:09

"'Why is the father of my children entitled to make a new family or families without particular redress, financial or moral, but I am not?'"

And the answer to that is..

How DARE you ask that question, what are you??? Some sort of man hating feminazi?!!

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 18:40:26

Indeed.

Btw a very large portion of 'benefits' go to the middle class. But we don't seem to call them 'hand outs'. We call them 'grants' and 'allowances', and 'pensions'.

Flickstix Sat 26-Jan-13 18:39:25

I know a fair few middle class benefit claimants, they just don't make it obvious. Also know a lot of of working class people who would rather do anything than claim benefits.

SoleSource Sat 26-Jan-13 18:27:52

So benefit scroungets can never be middle class.. Ooh boy the prejudice makes me wanna vomit

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 18:25:22

Well, I may post that thread one day. Here's a good one:

'Why is the father of my children entitled to make a new family or families without particular redress, financial or moral, but I am not?'

Oooh, men, eh?

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 17:25:15

I've been around here long enough to know who talks sense and who doesn't, LineRunner grin.

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 17:02:08

flippinada at least one person in the world knows what I mean.

Flickstix Sat 26-Jan-13 16:46:25

I think people need to be very careful about making assumptions here, people have children by different Fathers for many different reasons.

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 16:41:50

Or rather "reckon" to "know" <reminds self to check before posting>.

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 16:41:18

Actually, change the "think" to "know".

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 16:33:32

Depressingly LineRunner I reckon you're spot on.

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 16:11:20

why is no-one starting a thread about serial impregnators and the appalling consequences of their selfishness?

I have thought about it. But I am sure it would derailed by Page 2 by menz and otherwomenz.

It would be called, ''Why does society prefer lone mothers to claim some benefits from the state and then to vilify them than for the fathers of their children to pay more than a small percentage of their income toward their children's living costs?"

But it wouldn't fit in the thread title box.

CuttedUpPear Sat 26-Jan-13 16:06:31

Well said SolidGold.

OP, are you Claire Khaw?

flippinada Sat 26-Jan-13 16:00:05

You know, I read through this thread thinking, bet Hillary is actually a man with a grudge and what do you know.

I agree Solid lot of rubbish - why is no-one starting a thread about serial impregnators and the appalling consequences of their selfishness?

As for the awful comments about "wishful thinking" what a load of spiteful nonsense.

Mind you I suppose these are the same people who cause such misery and upset in families by (for example) treating adopted children as less important than "real" children. I'm using that example specifically because there have been a couple of threads about that on MN recently.

In answer to the OP, I really don't see the problem. Firstly, blended families are nothing new and secondly, as long as children are treated well and loved what's the problem?

The more variations on family there are, the more people will stop making a silly fuss about it. The heteromonogamous nuclear family 'ideal' was never much good for women, its main beneficiaries were always men, who got to own a female for domestic work and breeding, and who were officially the rulers of the household. Women gaining more autonomy meant that more of them would reject husbands who are unsatisfactory. All the anti-single-mother propaganda is really about men's fear of having to do their own domestic work once women have options other than remaining in horrible marriages because they are financially dependent and not allowed to be otherwise.

But the real villains, who somehow rarely get mentioned, are the serial impregnators, The men who have children with several different mothers that they neither see nor pay towards the raising of. These are the men obsessed with proving that their cocks work and determined to own and control both women and children: when the woman stands up to them, they discard her and the children and try again elsewhere.

BlackMaryJanes Sat 26-Jan-13 12:42:57

summersontheway oh no you di'nt!! grin

MrsDeVere Sat 26-Jan-13 11:22:00

Again.

We have FOUR birth children.
ONE adopted child.

Fuck off with your 'wishful thinking' bollocks.

How dare you.

My mother has 7 children by 2 dads - one of who is not in the picture any more.

Stop ebing so fucking jugdemental.

ledkr Sat 26-Jan-13 08:53:09

Because people are making massive assumptions about mothers and children LIKE MINE is that so difficult for you to understand?

summersontheway Fri 25-Jan-13 23:40:42

whisky plus google equals: [www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21030083]

HillaryClitoris Fri 25-Jan-13 21:10:32

Flicks,

I can empathise.

HillaryClitoris Fri 25-Jan-13 21:08:17

ledkr,

why do you find this a 'nasty insulting' thread?

HillaryClitoris Fri 25-Jan-13 21:07:12

In reply to Rhonda,

Yes I did, I was 'dad' to him, my name the whole works.

I haven't seen him since my cancer diagnosis although I do have a court order stating that he can see me regardless of his mother's wishes.

Flickstix Fri 25-Jan-13 20:58:26

Wow, after reading this thread my heart is beating really fast in anger and shock! I have 3 DC, my eldest is from a previous marriage. I worry that people judge our family and clearly from this thread they probably do! It's just sad and quite shocking.

And couldn't you say we all have a unique relationship with every other person in our lives ?

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