Mumsnet Talk

Apparently, the average person makes gassy emissions of up to half a litre around 14 times a day. Some are more fragrant than others and some are more 'vocal' than others.

Yesterday (SE coast) was a brilliant day for trumpers!!

I farted with impunity ALL day!!

OH and I were out last year for my birthday lunch (first time out together baby free in 2yrs) and during the course of lunch I downed a bottle of wine (classy bird). As I was polishing off my last glass I leant forward and let rip the noisiest fart of my entire life. The woman sitting behind me said "Oh well!!!!" in a very posh tone. The tears were literally blinding me with laughter and my OH looked mortified...

Can I just say a big THANK U to all these posts? Ive had a rotten day and this has cheered me up I'm doubled up in laughter and DC keeps asking 'why are you laughing at mumsnet?'!

BTW DCs the worst for it, we were in a cafe this morn after an appointement, there were about 10 or so people in there, it was quiet, and she let rip! 3 times! thought it was hilarious, and I had nowhere to hide. tuts of disapproval from 1 old biddy (like she never has).

I seem to let go in bed, as I'm having to put fresh sheets every 3 days now instead of once a week. really pongs in the mornings. old age?

I do it. Especially silent ones in full lifts just before I get out.

We frequently have farting contests at work!

what exactly are you 'letting go' of when you are having to change the sheets every 3 days marg?

dont you open the windows and air the bed out every morning?

These days I cough and fart, I sneeze and fart, I laugh and fart, It's not my fault

At work I blame the children.

I fart like a man so my DH and DB's tell me.

Therefore if I feel the urge to let rip I always try and do it near a group of men so that they get the blame - as no one beleives something so vile smelling could come from a lady

This thread has cheered me up no end as I thought I was quite juvenile about farting but it appears not!

The older I get the more I fart - certainly age related!

I do it but I guess not everyone would. Viz has one of my favourite Profanisaurus words to describe the conditions when one can fart without fear of detection - fart blanche.

I just can't bring myself to do it at work. I like my collegues, and I know it would make our office rather unpleasant! Usually the first thing I do when I get home is have a good airing. DH says I sound like a gatling gun.

One of the benefits of being a nurse - I can fart away to my hearts content at work and nobody notices the smell

I was behind an elderly man one day who gave out a wet fart with each step. I was laughing so much - but trying to hide the fact. I nearly trumped myself...

Oh yes, even opening window for fresh air, airing bed, even tried febreze. no. nothing is trump-proof!

And mine are silent but deadly. ALways feel like I smell farty all the time too!!!! shower/bath every day, and does anyone else, when theyre spraying body spray on themselves go round the back thinking if you fart then it will smell nice????? :/ -might need to namechange after that one!!!!

Mine are awful but I just can't hold them in, they seep out. I have Crohn's disease and should probably explain to my colleagues that I really genuinely can't help it but I'm too embarrassed!

I blame the children at work too,I try and wait till the I'm walking down the corridors because then it is UNTRACEABLE.

DP and I do it competitively but we are both quite gassy so it was either that or be awkward all the time.

I'm bucking the trend here as I would never do it.

If I walk into someone's stink, I find it most offensive.

I always hold them in, but wonder if that's not easy for everyone as my dh and children seem incapable.

I also hold my sneezes in, so maybe I'm just uptight!

Oh God, how old am I ? 10 ? I am laughing out loud at this thread. Why is farting so funny ? I always do it in Blockbusters, ( it was in video shops in my teens), don' t know why. Love it. Also happy I am not alone. Good old mumsnet.

it's when you squat down katy

I do.
Not much I can do about it in my case though...couldn't keep the trumps in my poor knackered old sphincter if I tried
Please please please dont let me get like my mother.
Sometimes she farts with each step she takes

Not in public, but one just popped out once whilst my OH was, erm... down there. He was not impressed and refused to do it for a while after that. Oops.

Oh dear... stop...this is too much, dh just asked me what's so funny, I told him but he doesn't' t get it ! Bending down and walking are hilarious, maybe because they are out of your control?

I love a loud fart, me.
Itry not to do it in work, though, because it cracks me up laughing.

My proud boast is that on a morning after a curry, I can do a little trump on every step when I go downstairs

Everyone does it... but that's no consolation when you're out and about and walk into somebody else's fart contrail. Especially when you happen to be breathing through your mouth and you taste it.

I'm in Cardiff and it's a very farty city. Every time I'm in the city centre this happens. My mum even commented on it last time she visited!

I had to read your posts out, with all the laughing.

I used to have tummy ache holding them in for years. My ex farted all over the place so I let rip too, I fart anywhere now, it's a relief. I try to not fart in lifts etc though.