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to fart in public?

(102 Posts)
FlatsInDagenham Wed 23-Jan-13 15:34:24

I mean when nobody can hear me, such as noisy soft play or when I find myself in a conveniently empty aisle at the supermarket.

Does everyone do this or is it just me?

BabsAndTheRu Wed 23-Jan-13 15:36:02

Everyone does it, sometimes you can't help it, make sure you walk away as quickly as possible so smell can't be blamed on you.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 23-Jan-13 15:37:33

I do it too

<parp>

mummymeister Wed 23-Jan-13 15:38:59

How could you? and i thought we were all ladies on here as well. Next someone will be telling me that they let their husbands see them naked. I am almost tempted to put biscuit but am far too well mannered for that.

Schooldidi Wed 23-Jan-13 15:39:04

I do it too. If you spend a lot of time in public how can you avoid it? I would explode I think.

I even do it in my classroom blush. Then blame the factory down the road for the bad smell. blush

HecateWhoopass Wed 23-Jan-13 15:40:12

Not intentionally.

With my luck, someone would appear out of nowhere just as I was pushing out the final wet rasp.

YANBU.

I was in the kitchen at work and heard someone in the photocopier room across the corridor let out the most enormous squelchy wet fart. I was tempted to chuck some paper towels in to them, I'm convinced they must have shat themselves.

MrsBertMacklin Wed 23-Jan-13 15:43:19

I remember being in a vile mood once, getting into a car park lift with a really noisy group of people who were extremely reluctant to make room for me. I therefore felt it reasonable to have a little parp, seconds before exiting and leaving them in the lift with my eau de pong.
This is my first post on MN, I'm so proud.

lolaflores Wed 23-Jan-13 15:43:40

It is the exhale of reliefe and little grunt that usually gives me away. oh and the stench that I can be seen running away from. a green haze.

But yes, if they are quiet, chuff away.

lolaflores Wed 23-Jan-13 15:44:21

MrsBert thats the spirit. Welcome to MN and what a corker first go round

littlewhitebag Wed 23-Jan-13 15:44:40

I do it too. My family often sidle up to me in shops and hiss 'was that you?'. If it needs to come out, it needs to come out.

maddening Wed 23-Jan-13 15:45:07

This woman at my old work was known for dropping sbd's and walking off shock

Everyone does it smile

Except another woman also at my old work who insisted that she never ever farted (I don't believe her)

FlatsInDagenham Wed 23-Jan-13 15:45:29

Oh good, glad it's normal. I was just in the baby area of soft play letting off a series of silent guffs and looking around at the other mums n babies innocently, and I thought to myself 'Am I revolting?'

Now I know the answer - yes I am but so is everyone else, so it's all good.

LotsaTuddles Wed 23-Jan-13 15:47:26

Sometimes you just have to. I think if explode if I never farted in public, you just have to make sure you can make a hasty exit. Esp as I'm pg, all I seem to do is fart, in public or not grin

HecateWhoopass Wed 23-Jan-13 15:47:46

That's a very Mumsnet first post, Bert grin I'm proud of you too.

BabsAndTheRu Wed 23-Jan-13 15:50:10

I don't know what it is about the supermarket but often find myself trumping all the way round. Must be the thought of the price at the till making me windy. Blame it on the kids if anyone notices.

BabsAndTheRu Wed 23-Jan-13 15:51:45

I'll know if anyone recognises me from this when they give me a widebearth in tesco.

KenDoddsDadsDog Wed 23-Jan-13 15:54:08

The best ones are the walking along ones , so no one can trace in back to you.

Corygal Wed 23-Jan-13 15:54:59

Who doesn't? One of life's simple joys, surely.

And worth taking the risk of letting slip a cutie ickle poot and finding you have unleashed the endless, ear-splitting blast wave of Dr Death, the Final Fart. Which echoes round the tube station early in the morning, even choking the newspaper man in his kiosk.

I can't go back for weeks.

WorraLiberty Wed 23-Jan-13 15:56:56

I was in Morissons this morning...which incidentally is in Dagenham and right in front of a large block of flats (true fact!)

And the lady next to me silently let one rip and walked off

It put me right off the meatballs I was looking at and I'm sure every fucker thought it was me angry

Booyhoo Wed 23-Jan-13 15:57:50

" I therefore felt it reasonable to have a little parp, seconds before exiting and leaving them in the lift with my eau de pong.
This is my first post on MN, I'm so proud. "

grin

you're going to fit right in here!

I've been known to find some trumped up reason (see what I did there!?) to 'pop outside' to fart in peace.

Tummy cramps just ain't worth it IMHO confused

BabsAndTheRu Wed 23-Jan-13 15:58:41

Worra, they definitely thought it was you.

Booyhoo Wed 23-Jan-13 16:01:17

all through my childhood my mum insisted she had never farted ever. then one night she came home drunk and in her panic to switch the alarm off she was dancing up and down and out came this massive series of rippers! she was mortified and we haven't let her live it down. grin

Hassled Wed 23-Jan-13 16:06:00

My farts are never silent. They never have been - I am not capable of farting silently.

On the plus side, however, they always smell of roses.

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