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to have insisted that DH took the kids on the bus rather than accepted a lift without proper carseats?

(176 Posts)
BreastmilkNewYearLatte Sun 20-Jan-13 18:17:14

It's an icy evening, and only the main roads around us are gritted. There has already been one car accident in our street today. DH took the kids (DS 18mo and DD 3.4) out on the bus for the afternoon and has just rung to tell me that one of his friends has offered the three of them a lift home. His friend has a car seat for DS but not DD. I said that I really wasn't comfortable with DD not having a car seat and have asked DH to take the bus. DH says the kids are cold and hungry and that the bus will take over an hour - but has grudgingly agreed to take the bus. I don't know whether he's genuinely intending to (TBH I wouldn't put it past him to get his friend to drive him to the bus stop) but either way he will return him very angry.. he's insisting IABU because he has been looking after the kids alone for a fortnight whilst I've been off work with anxiety.

I'm not starting to doubt myself - am I overreacting to this? AIBU to have insisted they take the bus?

ArthurPewty Sun 20-Jan-13 18:49:38

in fact, my DH would never have considered the lift. Ever. He's even more strict with the law than I am - and my kids are 9y and 4y - he'd STILL have taken the bus.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Sun 20-Jan-13 18:50:22

But it's not illegal mcpants - as a one off, which this is, you can drive without car seats, it doesn't have to be an emergency.

<IIRC, unless the law has changed recently>

Bunbaker Sun 20-Jan-13 18:50:23

As an aside - I only have one child but Dd often had a friend in the car so I bought another booster seat. Your OH's friend might find the need to do that as well.

DontmindifIdo Sun 20-Jan-13 18:50:48

BTW - you could point out if they got stopped, the friend could have been in a lot of trouble.

Maybe my kids are odd, but they love being on the bus, even if it does take longer. Buses are generally very warm too!

Hissy Sun 20-Jan-13 18:52:16

The law permits this kind of one of journey' so let's pack in the ill-informed judgypants, shall we?

phantomnamechanger Sun 20-Jan-13 18:52:41

I was wondering that too LadyM - what on earth was he thinking staying out till this time in the cold and dark - of course the are tired and hungry they are babies!

LadyMargolotta Sun 20-Jan-13 18:53:50

I know phantomnamechanger, now that I would be a bit annoyed about.

JustFabulous Sun 20-Jan-13 18:53:53

For me it isn't about breaking the law or not. Even if there wasn't a law about car seats my children would be in one. My eldest has only just stopped using his and DD is technically tall enough to not use one but I am keeping her in it as she is safer in it imo.

McNewPants2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:54:38
ArthurPewty Sun 20-Jan-13 18:54:58

my 9 year old is still in a (until recently, backed) booster fgs.

What hissy says, it's not illegal as a one off journey.

I'm amazed by the responses on this thread, knowing how MN usually is about car seats!!

TBH, if I were your DH, I'd have seen if I could make your DD a booster seat out of bags etc. Because I would NEVER let a child travel in a car without a seatbelt, and at your DDs age, a seatbelt would strangle her/cause serious neck damage in an accident, so she would need to be lifted higher up. If a booster couldn't be fashioned in some way, I would have taken the bus.

Because despite lack of child seats/seatbelts, buses are far safer for passengers.

And others have already said how horrifically dangerous it is to put a child on your lap and double the seatbelt. The child would be crushed to death in an accident.

Would so many of you really get a lift home with no safe was to restrain the 3.4 yo on dangerous icy roads? Really? I'm horrified. Cold and extra time outside are inconvenient but no direct danger to your child's life. Whereas an unrestrained or unsafely restrained child in a car would be very likely to suffer serious injury. And the odds of an accident are vastly increased in this weather.

I'm with you, OP.

countrykitten Sun 20-Jan-13 18:55:46

I feel sorry for them all if they are stuck on a bus in this freezing cold weather - your DH must be a saint if he has done as he was told. I would have taken the lift. Sorry.

foreverondiet Sun 20-Jan-13 18:56:50

I think you are being U, assuming your DD had an adult seatbelt on.

However I would not be happy with a 3 year old on lap.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 18:57:51

Put elder child on bulky coats then seatbelt as normal

Fucking hell. This is incredibly dangerous. Do NOT put kids on cushions, coats or anything else other than an approved car seat or booster - all you are doing is creating 'slack' inside the seatbelt and putting them at more risk.

Hissy Sun 20-Jan-13 18:58:01

Erm, read on down on your link....

It clearly does....

Not sure why anyone is particularly bothered what the law says either. So what?!??! This is about the safety of children on dangerous icy roads. "Oh, sorry your DC was horribly injured, but what we did wasn't illegal so it's all okay".

MrsKeithRichards Sun 20-Jan-13 18:59:33

Mcnew did you even read the link you posted?

* Unexpected but necessary journeys over a short distance

If the correct child seat isn’t available, a child over 3 years old can use the adult belt for an unexpected but necessary journey over a short distance. This doesn’t apply to a regular school run or planned journey.*

Oh fucking boo hoo having to catch a bus! I bus everywhere with my 4. He should have started home before they were hungry. And despite it being cold outside, it will be warm on the bus! They won't be sat on the bus shivering like the little match girl.

Egusta Sun 20-Jan-13 19:00:33

I had ABSOLUTELY no idea about the child on lap, one seatbelt thing and how dangerous that was. Neither did DH. We have done that twice.... for short taxi trips. Never again.

Thank you for teaching me something so critically important, munsmet.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 19:00:46

TBH, if I were your DH, I'd have seen if I could make your DD a booster seat out of bags etc. Because I would NEVER let a child travel in a car without a seatbelt, and at your DDs age, a seatbelt would strangle her/cause serious neck damage in an accident, so she would need to be lifted higher up. If a booster couldn't be fashioned in some way, I would have taken the bus

I despair. 'Fashioning a booster' is FAR more dangerous than simply putting a child in a seat belt.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 20-Jan-13 19:00:56

Bolding fail.

countrykitten Sun 20-Jan-13 19:01:05

Good call on the hot chocolate OP - sure they will be delighted to see you! Take care out there.

Sorry that was in response to all those saying oh poor them having to catch the bus of all things.

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