AIBU and should I get over myself?! Possible bridezilla?

(128 Posts)
Sianilaa Wed 02-Jan-13 20:17:03

First AIBU posting and donning my flameproof overalls :D

This will probably out me if anyone recognises it but I need to know if I'm being all "me, me, me!" or if not, what to do about it. I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

I've been very good friends with this girl since we were 18 (12 yrs). She is 'guidemother' to my eldest son, she was my bridesmaid when I married. I think (thought?) the world of her. I would have dropped everything if she needed me. Everyone loves her, she's been a bridesmaid about 10 times in the last couple of years. Popular, lots of other friends but we always appeared to be close.

She is getting married in a month. When she announced it, I joked about her having to have 20 bridesmaids. She went quiet and said she wasn't going to have anyone to avoid upset. Transpires she is, a mutual friend. The reason being this girl has no sisters and has never been a BM. Neither have I! So I was gutted but smiled and decided to get over it.

She has decided to have about 10 cakes, one as a centrepiece of each table and she wants me (I decorate cakes) to do them all at her house the day before the wedding. I have tried to tell her this is very unrealistic but she won't have it. She is buying all the bits and a family member is baking the actual cakes so I can't get the cakes any earlier than the day before the wedding. She has changed her mind about number of cakes and designs several times. There are 4 different designs she wants me to do. I am stressed beyond belief and have turned away paying work for this. I feel a bit taken advantage of tbh.

She sent an email about her hen weekend - the weekend of my son's birthday and party. The boy she is guide mother to. I sent a cheery reply that I was sad I wouldn't be able to make it and was told I had to be there so please rearrange his birthday party to a different weekend. I won't miss his 5th birthday so am going along later than others when he is in bed and have (grudgingly) moved his party to the weekend before as he won't really care either way.

I offered my services to the bridesmaid, to make a cake or something for the hen. Got told no, she was asking someone else to do a cake and my help wasn't needed.

To top it all off, I was sat at home watching Bridget Jones on NYE as DH was ill in bed and kids asleep early as they're young. Just seen a load of photos of a party at the bride's flat with lots of mutual friends in them. I am the only one with children but they could have asked? I cried. It's not the first time I've been excluded for having kids (if that's the reason, they're just in a very different place in their lives).

I feel like a total mug tbh. I can't back out of these sodding cakes as I don't want to be the bad guy right before her wedding and I don't want to cause her stress or ruin her big day. I am completely gutted. Clearly I mean nothing to her and need to move on but how do I do that without looking like a brat? Or am I in fact a brat and need to get over myself? I can hardly text her and say, "you didn't invite me to your party, I'm not your friend any more!" as I'm not 5. But I feel it at the moment!

dons hard hat

Thanks for not falling into a coma reading this far! ;)

DontmindifIdo Thu 03-Jan-13 17:47:08

Ugg - please please plase can you send him a text every week saying the same weight even if you have lost some, and getting towards the wedding, start adding some so you look like you are gaining weight. Each time say "I'm not going to be 9st for the wedding at this rate, just to let you know, but I know [bride] has picked her bridesmaids because she knows we care about her, not because the way we look!" It will piss him right off. Every time you see the bride, make a point of eating crap. Keep messing with them.

They either will fire you as a bridesmaid (then you can tell everyone at the wedding that you were fired as a bridesmaid because you're too fat, honestly, it'll make them look like complete arses) or she will insist on keeping you as a bridesmaid and it'll piss him off. this is a good thing, she might see he's rather controlling before the wedding!!!!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 26-Jan-13 11:17:54

Any update OP? Did you email her to get this sorted?

Binkybix Sat 26-Jan-13 11:40:44

Oh yes, update pls.

Ugg - does the bride know what he is doing and letting him?!

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