To think my boyfriend might be a bit stalkerish?

[LittleMissLovett]

Only been together 3 months but his behavior is becoming quite strange. At first it just used to seem like everytime I went shopping, he ended up in the same shop and I put it down to coincidence but a few weeks ago I was out feeding the birds in my garden and noticed boyfriend crouched down beside the pond with a gnomes hat on and a fishing rod. I asked what he was doing and he said he was just playing around but I'm suspicious for obvious reasons. And then, yesterday I was in primark and noticed him stood among the manikins modelling clothing watching me. Again I asked what he was doing and he said his mate is the manager of the shop and they were short on manikins so he was helping out???

For my birthday last week he bought me one of those photo cakes from asda which I thought was quite sweet - but in hindsight, the photo was of me getting in my car at 6.30am for work - where was he to have taken that photo??

Am I being paranoid?

[BertieBotts]

Erm no that sounds seriously strange, I'd be running a mile.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Is this for real?

Sorry if it is. But he was being a mannequin and a garden knome? WTAF?

[Crinkle77]

I think you already know the answer.

[Northernexile]

If true, that is weird.

Is it just me or has this place gone really surreal today?

[ChrimboFascist]

excellent, tell us more....

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Not just you Northern. Bloody crackers today.

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

This can't be real.

He bought a fishing hat and a rod to pretend to be a garden knome? Was his size not a give away?

[Northernexile]

I have to go out and do RL stuff soon. Very disappointed!

[LikeAVirginMary]

Is he a brownie? I was a gnome when in the brownies.

[Momsnatter]

What's weird about dressing up as a gnome and crouching by the garden pond? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me

Pull the other one it has jingle bells on it

[mamij]

I'd be seriously worried!

[OpheliasWeepingWillow]

Gnome or elf? Did you try and put him on a shelf?

[PumpkinPositive]

I was out feeding the birds in my garden and noticed boyfriend crouched down beside the pond with a gnomes hat on and a fishing rod

Does he live with you? Or did he jump over the garden fence unbeknown to you?

[DameMargotFountain]

have you noticed a trail of false moustaches and books on how to disguise your voice leading to his car?

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

Good one OP...esp love the bit about him dressed as a gnome!

[TheProvincialLady]

Just be grateful he wasn't crouching down in the nude and having a little tinkle in your pond. Or standing in the middle of your pond holding a hose above his head.

[swampster]

LML, are you having an affair with my DH???

[MammaTJ]

Not bad for a first post.

I think he can only be cured by you following him following you following him.

Or maybe get an imaginary friend to have a word with the imaginary BF.

[BaronessBomburst]

I think that he is totally and utterly besotted with you and that you should get married immediately. Flying reindeer are a bit hard to come by at this time of year as they're mostly booked up, so have you considered a unicorn to draw the carriage?

[cozietoesie]

Ooh this is fun.

Please tell me he was modelling clothes in the underwear section?

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

Has he stolen your DNA yet?

IME, real stalkers always try to steal your DNA. When I was 14 I was followed by a strange man. He'd follow me to and from school, across two buses and a long walk, and we ended up with a police escort to school "to keep us safe."

They didn't really believe he was a stalker until he broke into my next-door neighbours house and jumped her fence to get our underwear which was on the washing line. He wanted my DNA to make a clone.

Hilarious as a 14-year-old. Pretty damn creepy now I'm older!

[WeWilsonAMerryChristmas]

Was he doing t-rex while being a mannequin?

[Northernexile]

And where is Sharon?

[Sexolette]

Best thread ever! !

[WeWilsonAMerryChristmas]

Sharon's the photocake girl in Asda, she is!