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To inform the baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail club

(187 Posts)
LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:20:49

. . .who seem to think they are superior parents because of these attributions that they are in no way any better at parenting then i am with my make up on curled hair, slightly too tight jeans and a smile.

And announce that they probably do spend more time thinking about the way they look then putting ''that energy into playing with my children'' than they seem to think.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them, but instead about those who declare it is ''because they are to busy to care and would rather play with the kids'' Passive aggressively or maybe those who roll there eyes and nudge there partner in there ribs with gusto if they see someone with a child in tow who fancied wearing high heels to Nandos.

anyone know what this is about?, doesn't the whole ''i'm so relaxed that i don't need to care what people think of me'' end up lost in the convincing everyone that they are doing there kids a favour by not wearing perfume and makeup.

Or is DS going to grow up sideways because of me for spending an extra ten minutes in the bedroom before DP goes to work? grin

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 22:28:13

i don't think it is the not wearing makeup that = smugness , it is the minority who think them not wearing make up is something worth being smug about, same as the women who wear a lot of make p and do there hair and are smug about it to those who don't, there is a whole ''i'm better than you '' thing going on, one way it is

''I'm better than you because i take pride in my appearance''
and the other. . .

''i'm better than you because i am so above makeup''

Neither of them are prevalent in everyday settings but they are there.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 22:32:25

I used to wear make up, loads of it (im an 80s child, what can i say!) but now i NEVER wear it. When i wore it, if i wasn't wearing any i felt i looked terrible, now i feel i look better without it. I stopped wearing it the day my DP told me i looked beautiful without it grin that was 20 years ago!

I wouldn't look down my nose at someone who was made up and well presented at the school run, i might be a bit hmm if she was dressed for a nightclub, but different strokes for different folks, i bet your DDs (if you have them) love their glam mummy.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 17-Nov-12 22:33:11

This entire thread is like a parallel universe!

Obviously saying that in a totally non smug way.

pointythings Netherlands Sat 17-Nov-12 22:34:19

I think you're right, OP. And that mystifies me. We must live in a very shallow world when the issue of wearing make-up, or not, is used as a measure of worthiness. Honestly, don't we have anything better to think about? I'm thinking about Israel and Gaza at the moment, and the whole war paint/no war paint thing just pales into insignificance.

My appearance is not one of the things I take pride in, for the most part. Though I am fond of my lovely grey hair, I have had people ask me where I get my streaks done grin. I take pride in the quality of my work, the achievements of my DDs, my baking and jewellery making skills. Oh, and my ability to make cake disappear.

lljkk Netherlands Sat 17-Nov-12 22:38:57

I am make-up free scruffy but find it hard to give a rats arse how other people dress.

Evangelical people wind me up something rotten.

But Smug people just usually make me laugh*. OP, just.. find a way to pity them if you must take notice at all.

(*Make note to self apply that principle to Smug MNers. But it's so much funner when you can easily nitpick about everything else you see & observe about them in person that isn't so perfect, don't get the rich imperfect details online.)

gail734 Sat 17-Nov-12 22:54:53

My DD (first baby) is 4 months old. I spend two precious minutes in the morning slapping on some makeup because a) it makes me feel better, and b) I think it creates an impression that I am "coping". (I'm not doing badly, but if I go out looking a mess I am a bit concerned that I'll be judged.) I wear very comfy clothes, but not pyjamas! If I see a mum with a pram who's really "done up", I'm in awe of her. I think, "Wow, when did you get time to do that?" If I see a mum who looks a bit of a state, I feel sympathetic. My hair used to be a surprisingly labour intensive, shiny bob. It's been in a spiky little pony since DD was born! I think it says a lot that I never look better than when I visit the health visitor's clinic to have DD weighed - I'm secretly convinced that if I turn up there without at least lipstick and mascara on, that she'll note it down in the red book! "Mum has lost all self esteem." I know this is mad!!

edwinbear Sat 17-Nov-12 23:24:33

I have only read the first page of the post. However, I feel I should add that on a Friday morning, when I take my kids swimming, I am a no make up wearing, frizzy haired, Sainsburys tracksuit wearing mum of two. From Mon-Thurs I am a six figure earning, Paul Smithed suited, and Louboutin heeled investment banker. Best not to judge on appearance huh.

DrCoconut Sun 18-Nov-12 08:20:06

I remember when DS2 was 2 days old and the midwife came to visit. She seemed genuinely surprised that I was dressed! It was 1pm. Before anyone gets any catwalk type images (I wish) it was just jogging bottoms and a t shirt, not high fashion. I have suffered depression and find that having a certain level of routine and getting up, washed, dressed, bit of makeup if going out etc keeps me out of that rut that it is all to easy to slip into. I'm not bothered if others do the same or not.

lovestodaydream Sun 18-Nov-12 10:03:26

Dear OP, I tried really hard for a while to look presentable on the nursery run (bit of tinted moisturiser, lip balm, hair brushed into a clip) and I genuinely thought I'd pulled it off, until one day DS1 pointed out LOUDLY at the school doors - right in front of head - that I was still wearing my slippers. I applaud anyone who can get a full face on 1st thing AND dress everyone properly!

Now I just concentrate on baby wiping my face and under my arms, hoovering up into my mouth any left over bits of toast and wearing my shoes :-))

I just don't know where time goes in the mornings - maybe it goes on stopping DS1 3yo from doing Spider-Man stunts onto DS2 5 weeks old?

One day I will wear my lovely make up again (and my skinny jeans) - I luffs it.

lovestodaydream Sun 18-Nov-12 10:05:20

And I empathise with Dr Coconut. I had this 1st time round, routine based little things make all the difference sometimes xx

StickEmUp Sun 18-Nov-12 10:22:57

I get what you mean. I have a friend who was always done up but not so much now she has a baby.
Te only reason i noticed was she goes on and on about not having enough time BUT seemingly wants a medal for having a baby and giving so much of herself up. I get the comments as well as i am childless about how good my life must be and how haaaard ot all is etc.
I practice the glassy eye response, i find it boring and i dont have a medal to give her.

HullyEastergully Sun 18-Nov-12 12:27:39

Lola - in essence: just do what you want and don't give a flying fuck what others think.

really.

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