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to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

(435 Posts)
bellabreeze Fri 16-Nov-12 17:58:47

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

bogey that's awful, hope things work out for you.

Can I borrow your goat to take a look at my flat screen, it blew up today sad

Bogeyface Netherlands Tue 20-Nov-12 21:30:57

It will take more than this to break me. Although RILEY'S SNOOKER CLUBS will rue the day that they pissed me off....ooops, did I say that outloud?

rhondajean Brazil Tue 20-Nov-12 19:19:04

I have the feeling you are going to be fine grin

Bogeyface Netherlands Tue 20-Nov-12 19:11:30

Well it needs to be a decent goat, it has got to set up the new flatscreen telly and take the kids to Maccies cos i can't be arsed!

rhondajean Brazil Tue 20-Nov-12 19:07:14

Well make sure it's an HD goat, dont accept anything else.

I'm sure this is just a temporary thing, and you will be back on your feet properly in no time.

Bogeyface Netherlands Tue 20-Nov-12 19:04:43

Yeah, he should be due a few thousand in redundancy, pay in lieu of notice etc. With luck and a tailing wind it would be enough to see us through about 6 months, if we are uber careful. The company hasnt folded, so they should pay it, but no idea if or when they will sad

Thanks for all the good wishes. Have crashed down a lot now, I think the adrenalin really has worn off. Feeling tearful and headachey.

Got to go and pick up the fucking goat tomorrow now too grin

Well if you can't laugh.....

rhondajean Brazil Tue 20-Nov-12 18:01:54

Oh bugger bogey what a shitty thing to happen.

Has he worked there long enough to be able to claim redundancy? The government pay it if teh company can't. It wouldn't be much but it's worth looking at.

Fingers crossed something comes up very fast. Even a temp thing for Christmas eh. sad

MrsDeVere Tue 20-Nov-12 17:58:53

We have a low mortgage too. We put everything in to it so it is fairly small now.

Its our only bit of security really since OH was dx with MS. My thinking is that if we lose our jobs or OH gets worse we will not have to worry about a roof over our heads.

The other stuff I will just have to deal with if it happens.

Bogeyface Netherlands Tue 20-Nov-12 17:54:39

Thanks all.

Yep, have included CT benefit in the claim (or I assume we have, it asked if we wanted to claim it so either it goes through with the claim or they will send us the forms separately). We have a low mortgage and the amount of hoops you have to jump through for the interest thing is just not worth it for the £20 or so we would receive a month, I would rather pay it ourselves.

He has has applied for 2 jobs already, and we will be hitting the internet like never before come the morning. The adrenalin has worn off now, and we are both feeling tired and a bit down, but atleast now the only way is up smile

MrsDeVere Tue 20-Nov-12 17:51:35

Bogey that is horrible sad
The same thing happened to us when I was pregnant with DC4, just before Christmas.

I couldn't sign on because I was pregnant so thank God for that maternity grant. Selfishly I spent it on food and heat rather than prams and moses baskets. wink

OH found another job after Christmas. I hope your OH does too.

5madthings Tue 20-Nov-12 17:38:05

oh and dont forget free school meals you may be eligible for and free prescriptions etc.

5madthings Tue 20-Nov-12 17:37:05

bogey sorry to hear that, what utter shite esp at this time of year sad hope the applications are processed quickly nad everything works out ok for you all.

off the top of my head make sure tax credits knows so you get the amount of child tax credit you should, plus council tax benefit etc. also i dont know if you have a mortgage but there is a sheme you can apply where if you have a low income for so long ie on job seekers or income support, you can apply and they will help pay interest on a mortgage at the bank of england rate. obviously if you are renting there is housing benefit. hope he finds a job asap xx

Ah bogey I'm so sorry. It's awful.

Same thing happened to my DH 3 years ago, he turned up for work and the place had shut down.

You'll get through this, it's awful timing and a fuckibg horrible thing to happen.
I wish you well.

AllYoursBabooshka Tue 20-Nov-12 15:06:14

Bogey that's awful, I'm really sorry to hear that.

<massive hugs>

Some people really need to understand how easy it is for things to change, just like that.

I hope you and your family have a little luck come your way soon. You seem like a lovely person.

Brycie Tue 20-Nov-12 14:49:25

Sorry to hear of your terrible luck Bogey. That's really bad, I'm so sorry.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Tue 20-Nov-12 14:47:08

Bella your DC are lucky to have you as a mum, you sound lovely. Good luck with your new little one, although I'm sure you won't need it. smile

Bogeyface Netherlands Tue 20-Nov-12 14:02:22

To those who are slagging off people with big families who claim benefits, I have just put in our claim for JSA for him, me and 5 of our 6 children.

Yes, I know that I said my DH worked and until this morning he did. He got to work to find his unit which he manages closed and himself out of a job with no notice, 6 weeks before Xmas.

So what would you have us do? Starve? Or perhaps I should pop another baby out, you know....for the money.

There but for the grace God go all of us. Dont be so sure that you wont be next because believe me, you wont find things quite so cut and dried then.

Brycie Tue 20-Nov-12 09:53:23

I do actually know a dying pensioner who was paying taxes and benefits to people with large families and no means of supporting them up to his last breath. So I always take that kind of comment with a pinch of salt.

SlipperyNipple Tue 20-Nov-12 08:49:24

I hate to do this - but I haven't read the whole thread, just a representative sample** - The birth rate in this country is not actually that high and so a few people having large families is probably not a problem. May actually help pay for our pensions. OP has 8 or 9 children and I know at least that number not having children at all.

I don't see a problem with people claiming benefits they are entitled to. It benefits everybody to live in a society where you don't have to end up on the street starving. I wish the world did the same.

** Not scientifically reliable

Yes if they bother! Exh is self employed some of the time. Usually when the csa manage to get hold of him he goes self employed. Even though in the last 18 years he's probably been se for about 3 years in total the csa still won't look into his tax history.

He's paid about 2 years csa all in all.

MummytoKatie Tue 20-Nov-12 07:32:36

If he pays tax then there is a record of how much he earns. So the CSA can work out how much he should be giving your children. It may be worth talking to some people on the single parents forum about how it works with self employed men as I don't know.

Benefits will make sure you don't starve (at least at the moment) but the money from him will give you all a few extras.

bella I wish you all the best. You sound like a strong person, and I am pleased that you are doing the right thing WRT your H.

Ignore all the benefit bashers, and find out what assistance you are entitled to. The benefit system is there to help people in your situation, and it's a sad thing that some people would rather see you in an unhappy situation with your DCs rather than starting a new life that's better for you and the children.

I'm sure that this baby will be loved very much and is very lucky to grow up in a large happy family.

Take care x

bellabreeze Tue 20-Nov-12 03:35:01

Some really lovely comments here- id love to adress you one by one but there are quite a few so thank you all (I've read them all) thanks

And yep, I did miss 2 pills, didn't realise id be having sex (I'm not saying it isn't up to ME when I have sex but that's just how it was at the time and it is done now)

You're right about my husband being self employed (and before anyone says it- he actually does pay tax) he doesn't earn loads but he earns more than a lot of people and it was enough to feed the kids, keep the roof over our heads, pay the bills.
I even managed to get some savings together over a few months (not much but its the difference between me feeling a bit more secure or me being in a huge panic over money)

I won't be getting back together with my ex and I'm happy that now I can leave the dishes over night if I'm too busy with other things and DSs are allowed to put a tiara/fairy wings on without being told to take that off now!!! Mine and DCs best times were when ex was working or work then straight to pub and it was definitely the best choice to split with him.

So, I rang him earlier and asked if he planned to pay anything towards his children which he didn't seem to understand, he couldn't get his head round the fact that we are not together BUT our children still need money!

In my opinion it was pretty brave of me to ring him, he could have came round the house and kicked off, I know of women who are travellers or were married to a traveller that left their husbands but it would always have to be in the night or while he isn't in, pack a bag, get the kids and go. I just packed his things up put them at the side of the house and when he got back from work I explained it to him and went back inside the house, told him I was ready to ring the police if I needed to and he left in the end

Some of the 'traveller traditions/culture' is ridiculous but I do see things changing, they can't all ignore what the rest of the country is doing for much longer. I'm not even against meeting someone new in the future, not thinking about that much yet though

Well I can't predict what will happen with money but if the government do let children go without enough benefits then that would be terrible, not the kind of country I thought we lived in. There's not much I can do about any of that apart from carry on being as frugal as I can and trying to save any money that I can

MummytoKatie Mon 19-Nov-12 23:32:55

Bogey it's interesting but although I can logically see how similar I am to your dad in a way it somehow seems completely different.

Maybe because glasses / contact lenses work so unbelievably well. Or maybe because so many people wear them.

I do have a fear that eventually my eyesight will deteriorate beyond that which is correctable but thankfully the research / technology seems to be moving faster than I am ATM. And I think we all have some future health-based fear that we rarely talk about. (Heart disease in the family etc.)

I really hope your dad's op goes well. It is amazing what we can do nowadays. I rarely think about it but I am very very lucky.

Bogeyface Netherlands Mon 19-Nov-12 22:51:55

Oh and dont forget that she is 99% likely to be catholic and not educated, both by virtue of her religion and her culture, in contraception and may not have fully realised that missing a couple really does mean you might get pg, atleast until it happened.

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