Mumsnet Talk

....instead of offering to help out!
It's not only about the child being able to cope without the parent. I do expect 11 year olds to be ok without the parents but how can it not occur to mums and dads that I may struggle to feed and look after a bunch of 15 kids when they sit down for food and cake?
I find it very rude that the parents just shoot off without even asking if I might need help. AIBU?

YABU

If you need help ask for it！

YABridiculouslyU.

You should make sure you have enough help.

YABU. If you're hosting the party, it's up to you to organise enough people to help so you can cope.

it would be reasonalbe for someone to offer, but tbh if i was hosting a party i would have made sure that I had enough helpers myself.
the party is for the children, not an expectation of parents to help out.

Yabu. I would expect an 11 year old to be fine to be dropped off and the hosting parents to have anticipated and organised any help before hand.

YABU. If you find it that difficult, don't have the bloody party!

Little ones, yes I would expect parents to stay, but 11 yr olds, get a grip!

And how do I make sure I have enough help exactly?

YABU. They are 11. Get them to help you.

But 15 11 year olds? Respect.

Is the party for 11 year olds, or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

if the kids are aged 11 I do think it's a reasonable assumption that you don't need to stay at the party with them. At that age I think it's up to the party-giver to assume that no-one will stay and to organise other help if needed, or to limit numbers. Most 11-year olds would be mortified if their mum or dad stayed to help.

The other approach is to make it clear on the invite that you need one or two adult helpers - and hope that someone offers to help. That's what people do for swimming parties and it seems to work.

- you ask someone to help??

By being organized before the party

Yabu

You are the host. Arrange the party around your ability to cope. If you need help then have the manners to ask in advance.

YABU. If you can't cope with 15 children or haven't got help you've organised yourself then don't invite 15, only invite 3.

I once took DS to party and was roped in to help because the host had not arranged enough help. I was pissed off about it because I had other things planned for the time that DS was at the party (I intended to sit in a nearby coffee shop to do reading for a course I was doing). I did help after all, but I was highly irritated that the party host had not planned things properly.

YABU, ask people to help if you need it.

Don't organise a party without enough help in the first place.

When you arrange the party you ask the parents of a couple of friends to stay. Offer them .

YABVU. You arrange help with family, friends etc. if you cannot manage that many kids, organise something you can manage. Not exactly rocket science.

It would never occur to me to expect parents to stop and help when they dropped their children off. I would organise help in advance if needed.

Can someone explain how I would go about organising the help? Do you mean pay people to help? Surely that's not straightforward! If I had family living nearby I would ask them

YABU. As all the above have already stated. I'm really not sure at all why you should be annoyed. I'm amazed you should ask this question.

YABmassivelyU. This is not how children's parties work.

You organise the help yourself. You either ask family and friends or you actually ask the parents before the event. To the majority of parents it's a nice couple of childfree hours, why would they stick around unless asked to?!

You can't expect people to want to stay at these things, but I'm sure if you said you needed help, some would be willing to give you a hand.

You shouldn't have a party if you cannot handle the children.

Do 11 year olds have party's like that? With cake...

YABU, just ask for help if you need it.

Are 11 year old's that bad? My DCs aren't that old yet, but I was hoping that it got easier as they get older!