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Censorship and DD3's teacher... AIBU?

(471 Posts)
NoNoNora Sat 06-Oct-12 20:12:05

Yesterday evening DD3's teacher called to voice her concerns about how appropriate the programmes we let her watch are. DD3 is ten and for all four DDs we haven't paid any attention to ratings, they'll watch what we watch and we won't question what they want to watch during their TV time (unless a fight breaks out between them), none of them are at all traumatised or have nightmares and they always voice their fears and/or leave the room if something is too much for them.
The latest craze at DD3's school is top trump cards and she took DD2's Buffy ones in last week (DD2 is at uni so DD3 has the run of her bedroom and belongings). As a family we all watch Buffy together and have done since it first started, we own the DVDs and the girls have grown up watching it. Of course there are things that the younger ones don't pick up on (i.e. much of the sixth season) but DP and I feel that it is a very positive programme for our girls to watch.
DD3's teacher did not agree with our view. She confiscated the cards for the day on Friday and then called me that evening. Apparently she was concerned that our older girls had been showing 'innapropriate' programmes to the younger ones. I explained that we watched Buffy as a family and I had given her permission to take the cards into school. She then proceeded to explain the importance to ratings and the problems with 'desensitising' children to violence and sex. I was flabbergasted and promised not to let DD3 take the cards into school again but maintained that I was doing nothing wrong in my parenting.

I can't be the only mum who thinks like this? DP is incredibly anti-censorship and wants to send her in with DD2's much more graphic 'Angel' cards on Monday, with a note to the (and I quote) "fascists".

ll31 Sat 06-Oct-12 20:15:45

think you are completely right to parent as you want and teacher is also right to confisicste cards if she wants. think your dp sounds childish tho

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 20:16:06

Er...it's inappropriate viewing. Your DDs teacher is correct.

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 06-Oct-12 20:17:05

You and your husband sound like idiots and incredibly childish to call it fascistic.

It's not 'fascist' - it's common sense. Buffy is a great programme for older teenagers but entirely inappropriate for a ten year old.

I don't agree with censorship either, for adults obviously.

I suppose you think that watching porn or horror films is ok then for a ten year old? hmm

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 20:17:25

this isn't somthing I would like my 8 year old to see...and you say you have younger DDS?

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 20:18:36

If a parent sent their child in with "graphic" Angel cards and my child saw them I would be be complaining heavily.

pointythings Sat 06-Oct-12 20:19:00

I wouldn't let my children watch Buffy and they are 9 and 11, but to each their own - you know your children best. The teacher was being OTT, I would imagine there are children in her class who are watching much worse stuff than Buffy.

Just don't let your DD take the cards in again and get on with your life as it is.

gordyslovesheep Sat 06-Oct-12 20:20:47

hmmm see I don't think Buffy is that bad BUT I do think you have to protect other kids from stuff that may scare them - watch stuff at home but LEAVE it at home

and grow up a little

gordyslovesheep Sat 06-Oct-12 20:22:03

DD1 is 10 and 2 of her class mates have i-phones <rolls eyes> ...they watch episodes of Family Guy - I did complain about that as it is an adult program

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 20:22:36

Are they allowed the phones in school Gordy??

Funnylittleturkishdelight Sat 06-Oct-12 20:22:43

I worry that my yr 7s talk about watching films like 'the human centipede' and 'saw'.

Where will you draw the line? I don't think it's censorship, it's common sense. The cards would have been seen by other children whose parents may be making conservative efforts to ensure their children aren't exposed to adult material.

NoNoNora Sat 06-Oct-12 20:22:48

Big Fat Legs- Yes, DD4 (the youngest and preferably the last) is nearly seven. My girls always found the master quite funny... But then they've been desensitised.

LFC- Horror movies, yes- if they asked to watch them (not really mine or dh's thing). But I hardly think you can compare porn to horror movies/ genre TV. (Completely different set of values, exploitative etc.)
(And DP was the one to call them fascists, not me)

stargirl1701 Sat 06-Oct-12 20:24:30

As a teacher I would record it as a child protection concern if a child was consistently watching material that was rated 15 or 18. The ratings are there for a reason. The material is inappropriate for children aged under 15/18. The teacher was correct to raise this with you in my opinion. Many other parents in the class may be concerned that your child is sharing inappropriate material with their child.

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 06-Oct-12 20:25:33

I compare horror movies to porn - they're 18's and films like Hostel an Human Centipede and a Serbian Film are extremely pornographic.

So if they asked to watch THOSE horror films you'd say yes then??

tiggytape Sat 06-Oct-12 20:26:51

YABU - I don't think the teacher intended to lecture you. She may know you have older children and was concerned one of them was exposing your younger children to things that are unsuitable for their age. It then turned out this wasn't the case and that you, in fact, fully encourage them watching anything they please.
There's not a lot she can say to that except that a 10 year old will be stopped from flaunting it at school and discussing it where the content is unsuitable for other 10 year olds who most definitely won't be watching these programmes at home.

There's nothing she can do about your parenting (unless the children report watching something of a sexual / violent nature that is so unsuitable that it tips over in to concerns about abuse) but she can stop you introducing the topic at school. Which is fair enough - many other parents don't share your views and think that actually a lot of people who proclaim to be liberal and relaxed are in fact just too lazy to parent properly and miss out watching things because it is not suitable for all the family to see. You and your DP obviously disagree.

gordyslovesheep Sat 06-Oct-12 20:26:58

yes - makes me rather cross - they have them in their trays and take them out at lunch

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 06-Oct-12 20:27:11

And if not those horror films which 18 rated horror films do you think is appropriate for your ten year old to watch then?

FannyFifer Sat 06-Oct-12 20:29:14

Never thought Buffy was unsuitable, DS 7 has seen it on occasion, no worse than Dr Who I wouldn't have thought, have only seen a few of them though.

NoNoNora Sat 06-Oct-12 20:30:28

LFC- I would ask why and start a dialogue about the torture-porn aspect of that side of the horror genre but if they still wanted to watch then we'd watch as a family, discussing what we were seeing and ensuring that the children knew to speak up if it was too much for them. I would much rather they watched such films with me in controlled conditions than at a sleepover with a bunch of hysterical peers.

(Also I think it's funny that DD2 got these cards in primary school (year five or six, she's now twenty) and most of the kids on the playground would watch Buffy.)

Inneedofbrandy Sat 06-Oct-12 20:31:18

Is buffy really a 15 and over? I remember it being on at 6pm when I first started watching it. Also that picture someone linked is nothing compared to the aliens in Sarah Jane adventures on CBBC.

Fairenuff Sat 06-Oct-12 20:31:44

I would consider this a child protection issue. Ratings are there for a reason.

stargirl1701 Sat 06-Oct-12 20:34:02

Buffy Seasons 6 and 7 are def 15 rating. What is broadcast on TV can be heavily edited to make it suitable for pre-watershed viewing.

FannyFifer Sat 06-Oct-12 20:34:14

I remember Buffy being on at tea time as well, was never a late night show.

I think you're insane but your kids, your rules.

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 06-Oct-12 20:36:06

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