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AIBU?

To donate to a womens' refuge??

84 replies

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 10:24

Inspired by a very brave mumsnetter who has had to flee an extremely abusive relationship this past week I would just like to ask the kind people on this board to consider sending any of their unwanted/no longer needed belongings such as kids/womens clothes, toys and any unwanted toiletry gifts you may have.
These refuges run on very little and everything donated can be of use to women and their children hoping to take back their lives following abuse.

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StrandedUnderTheMisltoe · 16/12/2011 10:29

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catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 10:32

Good point, I believe that they are always in need of toiletries as the women tend to leave their homes with only what they can carry and that toiletries are often forgotten.

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Yankeecandlequeen · 16/12/2011 10:35

I tried to donate to them a few yrs back. I had a travel cot & loads of baby clothes. I rang the non-emergency phone number I found & they siad they'd call back. Call they did & got my address & phone number & I waited for them to pick up on the said time & date.

They never turned up & after a week of waiting I got rid on freecycyle. CBA with timewasters. Last time I offer my help to them again.

nursenic · 16/12/2011 10:37

The local police here help put donaters in contact with somebody who will collect. I like to take advantage of the Boots 3 for 2 offers to buy toiletries for donation to various charities at Christmas.

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 11:23

It's a shame they didn't get back to you Yankeecandlequeen, they may have had a valid reason for not doing so though.

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TremoloGreen · 16/12/2011 11:29

That's a great idea - I have boxes of toiletries (travel a lot for work and have hotel room kleptomania ) and should be clearing out some clothes in the New Year.

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 11:31

Wow, TremoloGreen that would be great!! It must be so difficult for these women and their children having to flee their homes without even a toothbrush!

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AlpinePony · 16/12/2011 11:35

Yes please to toiletries!

When I was in a WA shelter the best "gift" I got was a box of smellies, toothpaste, (matching! the height of luxury) shampoo & conditioner, talc, body lotion, deodorant etc. It was all Boots' own but it was so nice to have this stuff because I'd run with virtually nothing.

wifey6 · 16/12/2011 11:37

I think that is a great idea. I know a lady who works at a women's refuge & she ordered some Christmas gifts from me as I make jewellery & gifts...as there would be 15 ladies/girls there Christmas day. I made them & donated them instead of receiving payment.

xyfactor · 16/12/2011 11:38

I give to homeless charities.
They should pass some of my donations to shelter too.

cookingfat · 16/12/2011 11:39

Our local refuge doesn't take clothes, toys or electrical items. Definitely phone ahead first!

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 11:39

AlpinePony it is the little things that can really help isn't it? Hope you are doing well now. :)

Wifey6, what a lovely thing to do. :)

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PeneloPeePitstop · 16/12/2011 11:41

I always do.... I find the charity shops round here wrinkle their noses up at the stuff I take in like it's DD's dirty nappy so I always call the refuge now.

Nothing wrong with what I'm giving by the way, just the charity shops round here are so incredibly fussy that they now 'specialise' - one only takes designer ladies clothes and nothing else!

wifey6 · 16/12/2011 11:44

catherine....it's the least I could do...wish it could of been more. It's sad that Xmas is when these situations are truly bought to light but it's a constant need all year. I will definitely be making it a regular thing.

AlpinePony · 16/12/2011 11:52

catherine Thank you. Thankfully for me it was all a very long time ago now - 16 years ago and life has moved on in a very positive manner.

Another thing which would've really helped, if it's even possible to "donate" such a thing. Once we were able to move on (in those times in to council flats) - it would've been really awesome for people to donate time/transport/expertise to moving in. E.g., if your husband is a bloody whiz getting the washing machine plumbed in or building IKEA furniture I'm sure that sort of help would go down well.

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 11:55

Omg at charity shops specialising in designer stuff!!
I get those donation bags through the door a few times a week, usually for some overseas charity I've never heard of...I won't use them as apparently by me people are using the charity bags through the door as a business and selling the stuff themselves.

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FreudianSlipper · 16/12/2011 11:56

yabkee they may have just had an emergency they had to deal with you know like a family fleeing from someone trying to kill them and picking up a few items was forgotten

on the feminist board there is a link to those who want to give. in the refudge i work at we have been lucky and received many toys but sometimes the women are overlooked toiletries and anything to pamper themselves is greatly received

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 12:00

AlpinePony, so pleased to hear it all worked out well for you:)

I along with some other mumsnetters are praying that the young brave woman who inspired me to post will continue to move on with her life in a positive manner and to go on and have a happy fulfilled life.

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SilentNotViolentNight · 16/12/2011 12:00

This reply has been deleted

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catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 12:06

I know Silent, it was in the local paper, the other thing that happens is that other people than the charity you are giving your stuff to turn up before and take the stuff! Sad world we live in...

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WinterWonderlandIsComing · 16/12/2011 12:11

I always do it at Christmas and save bits throughout the year. Our local one is (rightly) a little cagey but one year I donated an unused steriliser and bottles and they were delighted. They know me now.

It breaks my heart to think of women and children who have had to put up with terrible things all year having to flee at Christmas when it is usually worse for them. And that the DC don't get presents because they have missed Santa

this thread is inexplicably hidden in the feminism topic but is a link to a FB John Lewis campaign which is useful if you can't physically get to a refuge with donations.

MakesXmasCakesWhenStressed · 16/12/2011 12:19

I'm a whizz at putting together IKEA furniture - wonder if they can use my skills...? :D

Worthy cause, anyway, am doing all I can to promote it

himynameisfred · 16/12/2011 12:27

I have to say, this is such a WORTHY cause.

I know what refuges are like, and many people in them have NO ONE because their abusive partner was their life.
It can be such a miserable depressing time, especially at x-mas.

Recieving an x-mas hamper in there, can make such a difference, to how you feel and can be so nice.

These houses are quite small and often just house around 6 mums and children, so if you donate to one reuge it can make a great difference.

I would suggest any kind of presents or hampers, for the kids too!

catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 12:36

Makesxmascakes, I'm sure they would appreciate the offer.
Hampers are a great idea.....

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catherinea1971 · 16/12/2011 13:08

Thanks for posting that thread Winterwonderland, will go have a look..

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