Mumsnet Talk

<Shakes head at state of Gels Today>

<<unlaces stays>>
true

Oh la! <Shakes fan>

Hair gels?

Evening Cap'n

Space at your table for a little one?

I am no longer a gel. I must practice my disapproving glance and possibly mutter "for shame" more often

<<tuts>>

Alack, alas, has been many moons since I had a proper beau!

<<mourns the count and the bandito king, and , didier>>

'Tis monstrous sultry aboard the good ship IPOAT, when next we reach harbour? Can we have a proper adventure?

<ties up Brother JeraWeirdyName and all his creepy brothers with undone stays>
<takes Pag's loosened stays and uses them to shin down side of boat>

Marriage vastly overrated <bitter> Anyway we return shortly (I hope for I am sea-weary) to IPOAT Hall. Who will tend to the distillery herb-drying shed, the poultices, keep Cook and Watkins under control if I'm wed to BrotherDullardTheCreepy?

I missed brotherdullardthecreepy. He sounds quite a catch.
Did you find him somewhere near relationships?

Although if an adventure were on offer, I'm game. Perhaps just one more.

<cue more tsks from Hully and tuts from Pag>

<<Hands fidderer her pantaloons>>

Here, the main sail needs replacing.

Mistress Hully found him.

<I rest my portmanteau>

<<rolls eyes>> <<hurumphs>>

I rest my portmanteau is a delightful phrase <<applauds>>

After having the good fortune to marry Johnny some time ago, I have kept away from the scandalous goings-on. However, we are now returned and I fear his attention may wander...

'Ere we return to the Hall, I feel a briedf (balloon like) stop in Buenos Aries is needed....hark! I see mountains! I hear rhythmic music pulsing from the beach! We approach the port! The longboats await!

Gather your pantaloons and fans and dance cards, and let us frolick with the latin lovelies awaiting us upon the pier!

<<collapses at such narrative speed>>

(I've been trying to have an adventure, Mimi, but the players lack vim of late. I blame the weather)

<Gets splendid telescope out>

Land Ho! The Azores hove into view e'en now, my Lady Defarge.

I fear, Mistress Fiderer, 'twill be a long time afore we return you To The Hall.

<Gah>

Ah, yes, I see you are correct! Of course 'tis Buenos Aires, and not, in fact, The Azores. How did I miss that land mass?

I thank thee. They might actually come in handy for trussing up BrotherDTC.

He spends most of the day pretending to pray while being in reality half-cut on cheap brandy and most of the night cavorting with the crew. He claims he moves them in mysterious ways.

An easy mistake. Especially after a pint of rum.

Ah, buenos Aries. That explains the heat.

Welcome, beootiful ladeez! Welcome to our splendid city which never sleeps! High born hidalgos and honest gauchos await you at the reception at my palace tonight! I have brought you mantillas, fans, and rather great spotty flamenco dresses, Hola!

<<twirls moustachio and pushes back velvet lined cape>>

I meant Buenos Aires was an easy mistake!

This one looks a bit wet

Paggy

WHY HAVEN'T YOU PAID YET?

hmmmmmm?