Long story short: Been divorced for four years. Kids are six and nine years old. I'm in my 30s, ex in his 40s.
Ex has always dictated when he sees our children and before Christmas he was having them two nights a week plus every other w/e.
Three weeks ago he told me he's going to be "based" at his gf's house over an hr away and will only see kids every other w/e - approx four nights a month (but share holidays too). I work every day, part-time so I can do the school run. He's a full time art student and moved Uni to another city last summer to be nearer gf. Doesn't pay maintenance due to being a student which really annoys me if I am honest. He goes away a lot and drives a newish range rover, wears designer clothes, but won't buy kids new shoes. You know the type. Lovely husband, terrible ex.
I honestly don't mind. We get on better when we have less contact. I was looking forward to the 'new arrangement' starting and having a break from him myself!
BUT because he's seeing them less he has been phoning them more. This week he rang or texted my mobile every day. He spoke to them twice on Sunday. I removed the batteries from the phone when he rang Monday.
(OK, this is where I need the reality AIBU check from very honest internet strangers)
He texted me to say he was trying to call. I ignored it. I have ignored his calls and texts all week, but I have told the children he rang and asked if they wanted to call him (no, they'd see him Friday, thanks) today after another missed call on my mobile I got a text saying he was worried because he'd been trying to call the kids all week. I replied to let him know all was fine; he's seeing them tomorrow. (AIBU?)
I don't want him to phone or text. If he's not going to see the children in the week and they are fine about not speaking to him (I have been very clear with them that they can call him any time) I don't see why he should infringe on my time. (AIBU?)
He hasn't suggested making an alternative 'phone' arrangement and goddamnit years on I'm tired of being the one to bring everything up. (AIBU?)
My eldest has a mobile which I gave her two years ago and I call/text them on that when they're with him.
I don't know. Partly I do worry I am being a massive bitch BUT another part of me feels like I am finally having some control over something and can ignore, or (ahem) miss, his calls. HE will think I am being unreasonable.
But am I?
Argh! Help!
I'm brand spanking new to this online lark so you can be as harsh as you like.
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AIBU?
To not let ex talk to children on the phone?
81 replies
FreeBards · 20/01/2011 23:31
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RumourOfAHurricane ·
21/01/2011 00:11
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