to think there should be a written code telling you what you do if you go for a smear?

(110 Posts)
2shoes Fri 05-Nov-10 10:24:18

Have to book one so got me thinking how bloody awkward they are, no matter how many time s I have had it done, I still am never sure what to do.
I am told to go behind the screen and take my clothes off...........
so you take your jeans and pants of, then what, stand there or hop on bed?
so you hop on bed and try not to fall asleep, what do you do with your legs.....

oh and the fave mn question, do you take your socks off??

the list goes on

mrspickles Fri 05-Nov-10 19:09:14

When my coil got lost, had several people poking around coming in the room to see if they could find it. They all commented on how tall I was. Am 5'3 [hmmm]

I have also been complimented on my perfect pelvic arch by the nurse fitting my diaphragm.

TheProvincialLady Fri 05-Nov-10 19:10:48

Maybe they meant big tall, y'know, in there.

<runs>

mrspickles Fri 05-Nov-10 19:14:32

Speaks the cow birther lady.
Perhaps we could form a support group.

TheProvincialLady Fri 05-Nov-10 19:15:35

We'd need big comfy chairs.

whatagradeA Fri 05-Nov-10 19:28:47

<snort> I love this thread. I have been laughing out loud. Luckily DH hasn't asked what I'm laughing at yet - he just keeps throwing funny little looks.

I had a nurse tell me once to unclothe my bottom half 'including your pants! My last lady left them on. I don't know what she was expecting. I'm good but not that good!'

I then suggested the lady might've worn crotchless ones specially grin We were laughing so much. Then she told me I'd have to stop laughing as I was nearly shooting the speculum out!

I have tears running down my face from laughing at this thread. No funny stories of my own I'm afraid, but thank you so much for cheering me up!

mrspickles Fri 05-Nov-10 19:58:58

LOL at comfy chairs!
And crotchless pants!

PMSL @ Sidge grin

This thread has really got me giggling.

On a slightly sensible note TPL, I find inserting the speculum myself averted the attempted escape up the table.

One memorable occasion, I was seen for my smear test by a drop-dead gorgeous, young doctor, which was a bit disconcerting. He had a fabulous bed-side manner, and - very thoughtfully - warmed the metal speculum in hot water before usage.

Not so thoughtful however as, when he had finished and I got off the bed/stood up, there was a sudden, warm gush.

I had to leave the cubicle with my knees as close together as I could sensibly manage and holding my pelvic floor as high as possible until I could reach the nearest toilet.

lorelilee Fri 05-Nov-10 20:35:35

Brilliant ladies - thanks for several laugh out loud moments!

p.s. my smears have all be relatively uneventful

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