AIBU or is DP?

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

Mumsnet jury is needed here, our yearly 'discussion argument has raised its ugly little head again so i want to know which one of us is BU.

DP works about 15-20 minute bike ride away, he has a bike, he has a flourecent jacket, he has a huge backpack for a lunch box and a change of clothes and after today he will have bike lights as well.

The origional plan was for him to ride to and from work and in the SUmmer this isnt a problem.
However winter it is a nightmare, he wants me to drive him to and from work, i dont think its reasonable as it is the same time that i am getting the kids ready for school and doing all of DS1's physio and medication. In the evening its the same time as i am oing ds1's medication and physio and getting them ready for bed.

I know its not nice to ride in the rain but i have suggested dp wear his regular clothes to ride in and take a dry uniform in his backpack to change into.
I have offered to make him hot soup to take in flask to work to keep him warm, i have always dais i dont mind having a hot cup of coffee and dry warm clothes ready for when he gets in, but no DP feels it necissary to start making my life difficut and getting in a foul mood becuase i have said that i wont drive him.

He says he is annoyed hat he is riding in the wet and dark (in the evening) when we have a perfectly useable car.

We would get another car but we cant affored to insure antoher one so that is out the question.

I have said maybe he could walk with an umbrella but no he wont do that either.

He has got waterproofs but refusues to bring them home with him.

SO AIBU to think that thereis loads of ways he could get to work and remain dry and comfortable without me driving him and disruptinf the kids routine?

[SecretNutellaFix]

He is an Ass.

He has the use of Waterproofs but refuses to use them? Let the silly bastard get wet.

You have a child with a medical condition which needs physio done at certain times and he wants to disrupt that routine and potentially cause your child discomfort so he doesn't have to get wet? Boo-hoo.

Use the waterproofs, use the bike or look up the buses timetable.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

There is no bus so thats out.
He works outside all day so he does use his waterproofs at work he just wont wear them home and to work again.

He is being a precious ass i agree and every year so far i have given in. This year i will not.

[lal123]

DP usually cycles to and from work - and on days when its raining, cold and dark it is pretty miserable for him, even with waterproofs. Can you take him in the car some days??? Can you walk/take the bus some days?

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

If he was ill that would obviously be different.

If there was any sensible time table that fitted around it i would of course take him but there just isnt, ds has to get up early to fit in all his medical bits and bobs before school as it is, i am not waking him even earlier just to make time to fit getting dp into work.
The traffic is a nightmare, on a bike he goes through it, in the car we sit and wait and it takes longer than riding would, especially at night time, getting through this city during rush hour traffic is madness.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

Im under 25 and i have had an accident insurence is a ridiculous amount for me unfortunatley.

I could let him use the car somedays thats not a problem, i go to collage (and walk in the rain i might add) 2 days a week so he could have it then but he wants to be taken and picked up everyday becuase its miserable, cold and dark outside.

[localmum]

I was going to suggest flexitime, or maybe lift share?

Is there any way at all you can re-jig the dc's routine?

[curlymama]

Does the bike fit in the car? Is there any way he could cycle in the morning and you could pick him up?

Tbh, I think YABU. I would do it for my husband. If you have managed it in previous years, surely you can manage it again?

[localmum]

Actually - I think he is BU. If he works outside and has appropriate clothing an extra 20 minutes on a bike seems to be neither here nor there.

Has he ever done the morning routine that you do? Maybe he doesn't appreciate what you actually do at that time, nor the fact that ds's meds and physio can't be moved or postponed.

[scotsgirl23]

How long would it take you to take him to work?

[letsblowthistacostand]

My DH rides every day regardless of weather and his ride is more like 35-40mins. Lots of people do in fact. Invest in some proper gear--waterproof goretex jacket, shoe covers, proper lights, eye protection, backpack cover and let him ride. It'll cost a lot less in the long run than a second car and he might start to enjoy it.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

I have managed in previous years but like i say its a major disruption to ds's rountine and his medication has suffered as a result.

he can use the car tue/wed but i have a job to go to that is an hour walking/cycling so i do need the car on a monday and thursday, friday i do all the jobs that need doing, collecting medication ect so i need it then.

I walk everyhwere i can anyway, into town, collage ect as i have no prbolem walking.

We have a tiny Micra the bike woudnt fit in.

There are only 3 employees where he works and the other 2 live in the oppisite direction so there isnt anyone to life share with.

DS has CF his medication is top priority always and in the past it wasn't being done at the right times ect becuase i was fitting in taking dp so im not going to jepordise it this year.

[aristocat]

my DH cycles to work every day and this allows me use of the car if i want it.

his cycle is about 20 mins each way and he also does this in all weathers, he enjoys it and it is excellent exercise

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

It takes about 30 mins to drive once we get throgugh traffic in the morning about 45 mins in the evening.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

He has got all the gear.

He knows damn well what ds's routine in the morning is, he wants us to either get up earlier or makes stupid suggestions like 'dp can have his nebuliser in the car'

[Hullygully]

He is selfish and mad.

Show him this thread.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

I will show him thats why i put it up here to get an un bias opinion.

[localmum]

"Have his nebuliser in the car" ???! Good grief.

[diddl]

Bike rack so that you can collect him sometimes with the car?

My husband has the car for work.

My children bike to school every day-rain, snow, -10, whatever.

Bike is also my only mode of transport.