To think ODD

[Colliecross]

is a bit too convenient for the 'sufferer'?
So he really can't just do as he is told, he has ODD etc?
How do schools deal with this?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

what a lovely sensitive OP!

[pagwatch]

Is it twat week on MN or something?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes, I think so.

Maybe there is a behind the scenes "Twat of the Week" contest.

[choufleur]

What's ODD?

[gorionine]

I do not know what OD is either

[Colliecross]

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Brilliant post pagwatch!

Better to be ODD then ignorant. Do some research and show some understanding OP.

[EveWasFramed72]

OP...educate yourself.

ODD is not 'convenient' for anyone, and the 'sufferer' is indeed suffering.

What a highy insensitive and ignorant thing to post.

[Vallhala]

It would seem so, Pagwatch.

[gorionine]

Thanks Colliecross, I have googled it and at a quick glance it seems draining. DS3 is quite a defiant boy (usually only with me, no problem with autority in general) and I am pretty sure it is a phase he is going through but even just like that it is so hard at times. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for a pasrent to cope with it day in day out, with on top of it society judging your parenting skill as your Dc "misbehaves" constantly.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I wish ODD was"Convenient" I am totally worn out!

[2shoes]

YABU
but you know that
so go back under your bridge

[GypsyMoth]

colliecross....i agree with you here!!

my dd is now 14 and has hit a rough patch with her behaviour in school! last few weeks of term i was called in twice to see head of year

now why oh why does he mention fecking ODD/BI POLAR as potential reasons for her behaviour???? after 2 weeks....previously no trouble

how about she's 14,just startd her periods and she was bored with it being nearly summer???oh,and she was being bad?

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Not sure how it could be 'convenient', as it seems like a very tiring and difficult way to live.

I do think that such disorders are an illustration of the total over medicalisation of behavioural difficulties. I think the labelling of children in this way can sometimes be convenient for parents unwilling to change their strategies.
Not a popular view, I'm sure.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

More, I will agree with you in "some" cases but not all.

Sometimes some parents are looking for a way out, but ODD is hard work and tbh I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Nobody ends up happy and smiling while dealing with it.

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

We took DS2 to be assessed at the age of 4 because we were at our wits end. He was diagnosed as ODD after two hours of a psychiatrist listening to us describe his behaviour. We were told he may grow up to have many, many problems. I came out of that meeting distraught. He is now 7, and a million times better in his attitude and behaviour. The ODD diagnosis was a little too convenient, IMO, as the psychiatrist actually told us that DS2's behaviour wasn't our fault and we were unlikely to change it. He also implied that parenting our 4 year old son would only get harder and less rewarding. It would have been easy to give up. Ultimately, though, the 'diagnosis' was bollocks. DS2 is a difficult personality, he does not have a 'disorder' IMO. The parameters of ODD are rather vague, as a lot of the behaviours sound a lot like any 'normal' childhood behaviours.

[pagwatch]

Morecrack

I think a lot of people share that view and it is up for debate. But it is a view unfortuantely which gets adopted by the 'there was none of that in my day. Nothing a good slap wouldn't sort out' brigade.
They always have one child they 'know' who definately doesn't have anything wrong with them but their parent is a lazy fucker.
And from that they want to extrapolate that the condition does not exist.
Which must be hideous for the exhausted, desperate. attentive parents who are battling to deal with it.

To be knackered and at your wits end must be hard enough without illinformed tossers telling you that you are just an idle parent

[WinkyWinkola]

Chickens, would you mind telling me what your ds was like at his worst then?

We thought our ds had ODD but he only behaves that way at home. At school, he is angel.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Winky, the thing is ODD does not have to be shown in school and at home. It can be either one.

DS1 now shows it in school as well as at home....

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

I didn't realise that, TLES

ADHD has to be visible in at least 2 settings to be diagnosed, I believe.
I find it difficult to accept that a condition can be present in the home and not at school.

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

At his worst, DS2 would tantrum for four hours at a time (and I mean ear splitting screaming). He would not give in. He would beat his knees against his wall/door until his knee caps were black with bruises. He would be unable to speak after a four hour screaming session. He refused to cooperate in any way with any simple request. Everything was met with extreme resistance. I once took him to school in his pyjama bottoms and shoes in January because he refused to get dressed (and would remove his clothes as fast as I could get them on him). His reasoning was that he didn't have to go to school if he didn't get dressed. He would attack DS1 for no reason, and hurt him. We could never get him to stay in his room/sit on the naughty step etc. I was constantly asking for help from the GP/HV, and in the end was given a referal to Barnadoes, who sent someone 'round once a week to help us come up with a coping strategy. He was assessed by the psychiatrist who diagnosed ODD, and a paediatrician who seemed determined to make him fit in to a nicely labelled box, but couldn't make it happen. The only real information we got was that he was extremely intelligent and sensitive.

His behaviour at school was always excellent. I maintain that he finds socual situations challenging, and they cause him anxiety. He finds change in his routine extremely upsetting. He works so hard at being 'good' at school, that he releases all of that pent up fear and frustration at home. Like I said, he is now 7 and much more able to control his feelings and actions.

[pagwatch]

Morecrack
Can I ask? DS2 has very severe autism. His behaviour is completely apparent in every situation but varies depending on his stress levels and the amount of structure within the setting.

Does the nature of ADHD mean that it is not affected by these issues of structure, routine and stress etc?

genuine question I don't know much about ADHD

[MiladyDeSummer]

Fantastic post maryz.

I don't know much about ODD but my son's autism means that his behaviour is beyond his control so we have to pick our battles when it comes to trying to correct him or we would be on his case all day every day, which wouldn't be pleasant for anyone as you can imagine.

An NT child is capable of being "told", yes, and learning. DS has difficulties with this which are not his fault but a result of a real and physical disability. It takes much longer for some people and you have to target certain aspects of unwelcome behaviour or life is just full of confusion.

Maybe a crap analogy but I think of it like a child's piece of written work when the ideas are great, they are gaining confidence but it's littered with mistakes. You accentuate the positive then focus on one thing not cover it in red pen and totally demoralise and undermine them.

Children with ASD can have enough trouble mastering social basics, even the point of communicating at all so you have to see these things in context and have a little tolerance.

[ragged]

My niece has ODD.
Has not been convenient for anybody, not niece nor her mother, nobody.

Niece has not had an easy ride, she left school (ejected from many) without any qualifications.
Her mother is mentally unstable, that hasn't helped niece, but niece has a sister who turned out sweet, kind, responsible -- hard to believe they're sisters raised in the same households.
ODD Niece now is an adult, squats and begs for a living, still rebelling against authority and societal conventions.

I know where OP is coming from, ODD does sound like something made up, but the reality is much more complex than simply concluding ordinary "naughty" child or ordinary "bad" parent.