@pickledandpuzzled, what you say, above all else, is what I find so horrifying.
This clearly should go both ways. Women may find it offensive that men are saying they are women. Such men may find it offensive that women are saying they're not. There are strong arguments on both sides (obviously, I find the former much stronger, but to attempt to show the balance & objectivity I'm about to accuse others of lacking...) because I don't understand...:
Why is the latter the valid view, to the terrifying extent that the former has become bigotry?
To me, it's exposed the utter, desperate misogyny of our society. Women's views are secondary to men's. Women's self-perception is secondary to men's. Women's identity, ditto. Their voices, ditto.
If there'd been some debate (hah!) leading to the current conclusion, I'd honestly feel somewhat differently - but the absolute, unquestioning dismissal of women as a group with their own hearts, minds & sense of self, & the active, state-sanctioned suppression of them in this respect, terrifies me.