Asking someone’s pronouns is as important as finding out their name

[SamW98]

https://metro.co.uk/2023/09/13/talking-about-pronouns-isnt-a-chore-its-like-asking-someones-name-19491080/amp/

No it really isn’t. Does anyone really meet a new person in a social setting and say ‘hi I’m Doris and my pronouns are hee/haw, what’s your name and pronouns?

Pronouns actually make me want to stab people. Just fuck off.

To be honest, this is the kind of person I'd prefer not to have to meet in any setting. Once someone tells me their pronouns, that's more than enough info.

Pronouns are a great way of announcing you are a complete narcissistic bell end and anyone with a brain should avoid you. So they serve a purpose.

I think if someone tells you their preferred pronouns straight away, it can be a useful heads up and avoid the batshittery.

I deleted an email at work today from a Phil with he/him/his emblazoned across his signature purely based on him announcing his pronouns

In my list of importance its after favourite seashanty but before lucky crystal

I can't think of anything less interesting than discovering someone's pronouns.

Exactly!

Tbf it really is a good way of knowing you want to escape that person immediately and avoid any form of communication.

Have to be honest, when I was on OLD anyone with pronouns was instant swipe left

Most women on here are gender critical, so pronoun proclamation is going to get them eye rolling at the speed of light.

But I honestly think people without the slightest depth of knowledge about any of this will be...exactly the same.

The initial impression will be what a wanker. And, to be fair, they might have already formed that view before the person opened their mouth.

It's a bit like announcing your star sign really. Most people are going to be, at best, nonplussed.

Asking for someone's pronouns confirms that they are very focused on their personal politics and evangelism. And I am likely to respond in the same way as to someone with a bible in their hand demanding to know if I'm saved.

Your beliefs are fine. Inflict them on me, and there's a problem.

The whole article is just one big long whine of ‘I’m special and you should all acknowledge it and if you don’t buy into my delusion you are mean and I’ll be sad and why would you do that to someone so special?’

Nailed it 👏👏

They can be very helpful - It's like an instruction to back away from a tedious narcissist 😂

Only if you think it's important that everyone knows in the first two minutes of meeting you that you're a self-obsessed bore.

This.

I’d ideally like everyone to also state their weight (in kg for gods sakes), height without shoes, original hair colour and religious faith right off the bat. Favourite colour and whether they eat meat, egg, dairy or if they still consider themselves vegetarians because they only eat chicken and fish a few times a week.

Also if they mind swearing or not, to avoid awkwardness after jokes and such.

Do they object to me dancing my mood daily at 9 am?

Anything I have forgotten now that really shouldn’t be left out?

Precisely. Their only purpose, as far as I'm concerned.

I like the idea of "Hello my name is...and my favourite crystals are tourmaline and feldspar"

Leaving aside all the issues with pronoun pronouncements generally, the claim is nonsensical. The main function of learning someone's name is to be able to distinguish that person to others. If we're talking one-on-one, it doesn't matter if I don't know that your name is Caroline. If I have to talk about you to someone else, it's useful to be able to identify you by name and say that Caroline has done or not done X, rather than to try to identify you by descriptions. Preferred pronouns don't carry that same function in communication.

Just tell me your 1 rep max, we cool, I don’t judge.

I’ve only once met somebody who introduced themselves and immediately announced their pronouns (“Hi I’m Hannah and my pronouns are she/they!”).

I responded in almost exactly the same tone of smug excitement “Hi I’m AbacusAvocado and my favourite dinosaur is the stegosaurus!”. She/they looked completely nonplussed but somebody nearby overheard and we had a lovely chat about different dinosaurs.

As a woman with a unique name - I prefer it when people guess my pronouns. Weirdly I've noticed I sometimes get a more positive response when people assume I'm a man (apparently why J.K Rowling went for such masculine sounding initials)- and I don't get offended.

I understand that some people do get offended. But we are so easy to offend eachother these days.

If someone chucks their pronouns at me, that reminds me to engage as little as possible with them. Colleagues at work put it in their email signature but I know them well enough from before this shite started to ignore it