The issue was being discussed because we were discussing sexism we had experienced in the hospital. Someone had heard someone saying women shouldn't be surgeons. He clearly agreed. The group is about reflection - it is not part of the curriculum to discuss career options for women - thank god! FWIW I am a parent myself.
I had written a couple of points you bring up, but I deleted it again as I have had a glass of wine and am angry! Below is what I nearly wrote:
"I would argue that women have more difficult decisions regarding career choices because of the prejudice they encounter in having everyone assume they want children. Not all women do. I am not a great example to counter this argument (as I have had one), but actually so far my having a child has affected my "career" very little. I have seen other medics take more time off for lie-ins than I have for family stuff.
But then your next point tries to illustrate that if a woman doesn't let her career suffer, she is damaging her children?
I hear what you're saying, but there is absolutely no reason why a child and mother cannot have a mother-child bond if the woman choses, or indeed has to work (as many women do). I spoke with many people about the idea of attachment (including child psychiatrists), and was reassured by all of them that attachment disorders only occur in situations where quite extreme abuse/neglect occurs. Many argue that it is "natural" for a mother and child to have a very close bond, and this is of course true very early on because of breast-feeding etc, but I have read somehwere (will see if I can find evidence later - ranking jobs at the moment so have no time), that in fact in populations of hunter-gatherers, a child will have multiple care-givers as in fact a human child is very demanding so without extra help a woman would effectively starve if she did not have extra help to go and find food etc. It takes a village to raise a child as some say, and I see no reason why a father can't or shouldn't paly an equal role in raising children, so does that mean men should not be surgeons either if they ever plan to reproduce? For the record I went back to uni when my daughter was 9 months, she settled in very well with her childminder and I breast-fed her to 12 months.
I'm sure I could also find some feminist theory that would disagree with some of what you are saying but I doubt you would read it or take it on board. I suspect the mother-bond theory is simply a theory and maybe not that evidence based, and perhaps over-emphasised to suit the societal expectations men have of women. Maybe children need their mothers so much because traditionally fathers have been very hands-off? Interesting that it is written by a man. Anyway, that is my opinion, sorry I have no evidence to back it up. I think it is sad that women have to have their life choices scrutinised in such a way, men don't have this. I think it would be very wrong to make such sweeping generalisations about any other group, so why women? Can you imagine trying to argue that a certain race or sexuality couldn't be a surgeon because they might be inclined to make certain lifestyle choices?"
Too emotional?
