Police: Really horrible attitudes towards DV

[chipped]

Want to share this as its haunting me.

A friend works with a man who was recently arrested as he hit his wife during an argument. When he finished work the police were waiting for him and arrested him (as she had called them). All as it should be. He is now on bail. He allegedly regrets what happened but has told my friend that he was horrified at the attitudes of police during his arrest and throughout the proceedings. Gems include "bloody women, ay?"; "women have far too many rights these days" and even the officer checking him in (or whatever you call it) sharing an impressive anecdote about hitting his own wife who dared to report him but he "got away with it". He said they showed him overwhelming support (which he didn't even want). This is someone they have just arrested for a violent crime!

The solicitor strongly advised him to plead guilty as the case would just be dropped due to lack of evidence/witnesses. He refused to and solicitor was irritated and mystified by this.

I have never met this man abd have no personal interest in him and the case but am so haunted by this. What hope is there? On a positive note he fully plans to complain once it is all over but as someone who will have a conviction (unnecessarily according to the solicitor) I don't suppose it'll carry much weight.

[Kladdkaka]

I don't believe the police said any of that. I think he's just saying it to lessen the impact of what he's done. Or maybe so his wife doesn't trust them so is less likely to report him when he does it again.

[TunaPastaBake]

A bit about this and would take what he said with a pinch of salt - but let's see if he does complain eh ? I very much doubt it seems that he is making excuses for what he did.

[TribbleTuckandDismount]

I used to work in the police, no one worth their salt would say things like that to a detainee. It would grossly unprofessional and quite frankly stupid.

The police take DV very seriously, every DV case a beat bobby has will inevitably be combed over by numerous eyes including senior officers and DC's.

Honestly, please take what he is saying with a pinch of salt.

[Krumbum]

Why would he lie? It's weird how posters are all so quick to just blindly claim it's a lie. The DISGUSTING things the police said to my friend after she was raped shows it can and does happen. Some of the police are nasty pieces of work that do get away with it. Pretending they are all pillars of the community is stupid and detrimental.
I find this horrible as well op and hope the complaint goes sonewhere but sadly I doubt it will.

[notcitrus]

Not disputing that some police have despicable attitudes, but I've read I think on MN threads that saying such things is an interviewing technique, as if guilty many violent people will agree and incriminate themselves, making conviction much easier.

[icepole]

I used to volunteer for an organisation that helped women who were trying to get justice for violence and going on how often the police treated women who came to us appallingly I can totally believe this.

[pictish]

What a fibber.
This story has two purposes...
It minimises his violence.
It makes him seem more noble if he appears horrified by their tales. Even though he's just done the same himself.

None of it took place, I'm sure.

[pictish]

I'm not going on the notion that a member of the police would never behave this way (I can believe that) - but more at how useful his little story is for him.

[LurkingAndLearningLovesCats]

A very small minority of police have been known in the past to use their positions to hide DV. IF this were true, it would have to be an older cop, which would likely mean he held a higher position of power. Why on earth would a sarge say those things in front of a detainee?

No cop would be stupid enough to say this in front of a detainee. The comment about the policeman bragging about getting away with it makes me believe this is bullshit because he'd be investigated for abuse of power at the very least and lose his job.

I'm doing a policing course and a very big chunk of it is about changing attitudes towards victims of sex crimes or domestic abuse, as well as attitudes towards policewomen. You wouldn't find many young cops with this attitude because we're psychologically screened many times before we're actually allowed to join the force. They even check your Facebook for anything that could be deemed sexist/homophobic/racist etc.

I do not deny that there are sexist cops. Just like I do not deny there are sexist politicians/cleaners/teachers/Receptionists/Unemployed etc etc. I just don't believe this to be true. He has a lot of reasons to lie.

If it is true I'm truly horrified and hope serious action is taken against them.

I should note this is my experience in Australia, I don't know how cops are trained in the UK.

[CaseyShraeger]

"The solicitor strongly advised him to plead guilty as the case would just be dropped due to lack of evidence/witnesses. He refused to and solicitor was irritated and mystified by this. "

This makes no sense. If he pleads guilty then the lack of evidence/witnesses wouldn't matter, BECAUSE HE'D PLED GUILTY.

[LurkingAndLearningLovesCats]

I won't bother explaining how his legal story makes no sense, just wanted to add on I'm so sick of criminals blatantly lying about things cops said to them during interrogation, or how they mocked them when they were being detained. I'm even more sick of people somehow believing a criminal is telling the truth than a police officer.

And yes, I know there are asshole cops out there, just like every profession. 99% of the time though, it's bull! It's like when people assume women MUST be lying about rape, even though that is so rare.

[chipped]

Oh I meant the solicitor told him to plead not guilty, sorry.

I have no doubt it is true. I don't want to get into a debate about the offender but he has nothing to gain by this. He isn't making a song and dance about it, just told my friend as she was interested in the police attitudes. It is not really on his list of priorities right now and I don't think it's benefitting him in any way; he isn't using it to deflect from him,

[chipped]

Pressed 'post' too soon.

I am not questioning the truth of it. I don't have details but these were quotes said as he was being arrested, not during interviews; he never denied it. It was general chat.

[StrawberryMojito]

I'm very sceptical about the reliability of comments you have heard from a friend who has not even heard them her/himself.

However, say this did happen as described. I know many many police officers and have never ever heard any of them make similar comments. DV and diversity training is regular and ongoing in the police and those issues are taken very seriously.

If it happened as described, then your friend or this man should report the individuals as they are a disgrace. They are in no way an accurate representation of 'police attitudes' as a whole.

[DozyDuck]

I can believe SOME police are idiots after witnessing one smack a 14 year old lad in the face with his skateboard once because he was walking through a park to go home

Police man stops boy and takes skateboard then says 'you can't come through here'

Boy 'why?'

Policeman. 'because little shits like you have been vandalising it' the then walloped said boy in the face with the skateboard.

I was 17 and walking home after a night out and shouted 'stop!'

Police man looked shocked, threw the skateboard and walked off.

I took the lad home and told his mum what had happened.


HOWEVER there was noone there to witness it. (or so he thought) would police really do this in public? Also the guilty thing sounds like an excuse for him not to plead guilty so his OH thinks it's for the right reasons.

My ex was in the police though and is Chinese. He was driving with a fellow policeman once through china town. Other policeman started making very racist comments, probably forgetting who he was with. Ex said 'dude!' (apparently) and he said 'oh yeah sorry' and stopped. Ex never reported it as then he'd be seen as untrustworthy by other colleagues...

Makes you think

[chipped]

Look, I have changed some details but there is no need to debate whether it is true; I have good reason to not doubt the reliability due to my relationship with the friend and thier relationship with the offender (sorry for vagueness!).

I just find it horrifying that the, admittedly small number of, police that death with him shared this attitude. I hope you are right that it is the vast minority and that his case was unusual.

Apologies again for stupid guilty/not guilty mistake in OP.

[TunaPastaBake]

Shouldn't you be shocked that he got into this situation in the first place ?

It would 'haunt' me that someone I knew got himself arrested for DV - seems like you too are making excuses for his behaviour .

'On a positive note he fully plans to complain once it is all over ' - positive note ?? well thats ok then - doesn't matter what he did to his wife eh ?

[SardineQueen]

I don't understand why he is pleading guilty when his solicitor says he will get away with it if he pleads not guilty.

Sounds like a highly unusual sort of criminal to me

[Viviennemary]

I don't believe the police said that either. So he is pleading not guilty. It's all a bit confusing.

[JodieHarsh]

Bollocks.

That is all.

[SardineQueen]

No he is pleading guilty, even though his solicitor says if he pleads not guilty he will get off.

yeah right.

[SardineQueen]

Oh and where is this.
If it's in a tiny police place in the middle of nowhere then maybe, just maybe.
Did they have a lot of trouble with the police on one of the Islands in the highlands wrt rape? Was that something i read on here maybe

[JodieHarsh]

Sardine I think it might well have been 1973. Arresting officer Gene Hunt.

Look: obviously, going merely by statistics, some police officers are going to be fairly unpleasant. I can imagine one or two might harbour such thoughts as per the OP.

But the idea that in a day and age when police officers are actively encouraged to report the merest sniff of eavesdropped racism/sexism/whatever, and when there are undercover officers from internal affairs (can't remember the UK name for it!), when sometimes, if there has been a complaint, changing rooms are bugged - the idea that a whole group of police officers openly applauded a potential abuser and furthermore admitted to criminal activity themselves (himself, whatever) - it's insane.

And so irresponsible and damaging to post something like this, based on hearsay and bollocks. You do know that women are already afraid to contact the authorities and report DV? Well done for making it even harder.

[JodieHarsh]

ALSO - so this bloke hit his wife, and got arrested, but hey! Loads of police do it too, right?!

[SirEdmundFrillary]

I am probably barking up the wrong tree completely and am prepared to be shouted down, but do you think some remark might have been made in order to coax out the arrested person's views? Eg the 'bloody women, ay,' comment sounds a bit like a ruse to get him to open up about his views. Maybe I've read too much detective fiction.