Could my cat have been saved if I found her sooner?

(59 Posts)
Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 11:53:21

I am trying to get over the death of my cat who I think was hit by a car outside our house on Friday night.

We did not find her until 10am on Saturday morning despite going out searching about 9.30 on Friday night (we last saw her at 6pm Friday) and again at 7.30am on Saturday. She was lying in a gap between two bushes at the edge of a little park across the road from our house - I guess either someone had moved her off the road and put her there or she had crawled there.

What is bothering me greatly is whether if I had found her on Friday night at 9.30 and she had been run over, if taking her to a vet could have saved her. She had no visible injuries other than one slightly bleeding claw; her eyes were open and her tongue was poking out of the side of her mouth. I can only guess that she was hit - I can't think of another explanation. She would usually have been in at that time of night or have come back if called. And I was out calling her at 9.30: I am trying to persuade myself that if she was conscious then she would have answered me, and also if she was injured and could make it to the park, she could have made it to our house.

I don't know, I don't know if anyone can know really. Because I could see no visible injuries I don't know how she died. May seem like a silly question, but can a cat die from the impact alone of a collision without showing external injuries? I hate the thought that she was injured and couldn't move and died in the park in that freezing night (it was very cold that night) when we were only about 10 feet away inside our house. Or that she died in pain and cold and could have been saved if I had just shone a torch there when I was out looking for her in the evening. I must have walked past her several times.

I also deeply regret not trying harder to make her wear a collar with a phone number on it: if I knocked a cat down and it had a number on it I would call it to let the owner know. She was microchipped but that's no help unless she was in a vet's.

Sorry, a bit rambly. It's been a real shock and I feel responsible for her death. It's enough that she has died without feeling like it might have been preventable by me.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 22:29:21

Thanks WeezyPeezy, VivienneMary and VivaLeBeaver. I'm sorry you lost your cat in this way too Viva

I feel more settled that my cat was gone pretty quickly from what people have said here.

Vivienne you are right about blame too.

WeezyPeezy it's good to know that there are people who care if a cat is run over, it was a kind thing you did.

VivaLeBeaver Wed 28-Nov-12 22:17:59

I'm sorry about your cat.

I've had a cat killed after been hit by a car. The neighbours saw it happen and said the cat died instantly. They got me and I ran out but she was already dead. Not a mark on her, she just looked asleep.

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 22:12:21

Ok, I'm getting soppy now but like these too.

So dear friends your love has gone
Only tears to dwell upon
I dare not say as the wind must blow
So a love is lost, a love is won

Go to sleep and dream again
Soon your hopes will rise and then
From all this gloom life can start anew
And there'll be no crying soon

Those Who Are Left Behind
by TJB Cameron
Time marches forward, stopping for no one 
Every second that passes echoes the splinters in our hearts 
We put on a brave face and play this game called life 

Yet no matter how much we try we do not win 
Our pain and loss forever scarred upon our souls 
Every moment of joy is made bittersweet by your absences 

We struggle through the remainder of life 
Holding onto our memories that are all we have 
Determined never to forget our loved ones. 

    Love rebounds after life has long past,
  For it's tied within the soul, forever to last
   True love has not, a final goodbye 
 It lives forever, never will it die.

Viviennemary Wed 28-Nov-12 22:11:30

There is no point in going over and over this and blaming yourself. I have two friends whose cats have been run over in the last few months. It's just dreadful but no-one's fault. And there is rarely anything even a vet can do when the cat is badly injured. Please don't worry about it although I know it's hard.

WeezyPeezy Wed 28-Nov-12 22:06:58

Oh Zoo, I'm so sorry for your loss. Like the others have said it sounds like internal bleeding and you could have done nothing but torture yourself more, by feeling helpless, if you'd found her at the time, It really does sound like her passing was quick. I sat with a stranger's kitty by the side if the road once, just stroking him till he passed and waiting for the RSPCA ambulance as a last resort. It was very peaceful and he at no time seemed in pain, just like I'm sure your girl wasn't. The wee darling had probably long gone when you shouted on her. Please comfort yourself with the fact that you cared enough to go looking and that you chipped her as a precaution. Sending love. Xxx

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 22:04:38

I am not religious either, but that is a good quote.

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:56:44

It gets easier... As with everything in life... I'm not religious but I like this quote -
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:55:14

Yes, we have heard a noise several times which sounds just like her starting to come through the cat flap. And in a similar vein, the day before my cat died I had been talking to someone saying that at a time when we were considering relocation overseas I had thought I would have to rehome my cat in the UK as she travels terribly and the journey 'would have killed her'. Horrible irony now.

I spent a lot of time out calling her the night she disappeared and morning after and I do hate that she was lying there all that time, I just hadn't seen her.

mignonette Wed 28-Nov-12 21:47:25

Zoo

I have similar fantasies about Thomas just appearing in the window one morning because he had to run away after killing the neighbours similar black and white cat in a fight.....Silly, I know.

I keep hearing noises in the house at night that my imagination tells me is my cat jumping on and off furniture....

I posted some pics of Thomas on another thread the day that he went missing. Cannot believe the irony of showing off my beautiful cat on MN on the day he died, not knowing that by that time, he may well have died.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:45:44

3 ... that really is very young. Mine was 10 which felt young enough as she was still very lively and not at all 'senior' despite liking the senior cat food. 3 is not much more than a kitten.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:44:27

The 'like' button not the snow pictures that is.

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:44:17

I think it's difficult when they are young and had so much life to live...only 3.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:43:54

Me too.

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:43:22

We have a couple of pics of him running in the snow last year...got them Jo on the kitchen so I get to see him every morning when I go downstairs smile

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:41:40

smile, sometimes wish there was a "like" button on this forum.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:41:39

We have been through all our photos on the computer over most of the last 10 years and extracted every one where she features, even where she's just in the background while the photo was of something else. I am going to montage them to make one big picture, so in a way I can see all of her life with us all at once. Yet at the same time I can't believe I am having to do that and would give anything to have her back. It has even crossed my mind 'what if it wasn't her and I made a mistake and she'll just turn up again?' ... although I know it was.

I really sympathise with everyone here. Although it is so sad to hear of all these losses there is some small comfort in knowing we aren't alone.

I had had the same ideas too ILoveSparklers about the children growing up with our cat around. They loved waving a shoelace for her to catch.

mignonette Wed 28-Nov-12 21:36:01

Not silly. Definitely not. I have left Thomas's catnip mouse by the kitchen skirting board along with a rolled up piece of paper that we used to use to prop up the wonky kitchen table leg. He was batting that across the floor the morning he died.....

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:29:28

I haven't even washed the top I was wearing when I found him and held him... Silly I know.

mignonette Wed 28-Nov-12 21:29:00

I keep finding little pieces of shed claw. He used to fight other cats and return home swaggering like John Wayne with other cats fur and claw bits caught up in his coat....grin

And there's still white fur and fluff everywhere! And fish shaped cat treats no matter how much I hoover and sweep......

ILoveSparklers Wed 28-Nov-12 21:25:25

I buried some of his toys and blankets with him bit I have a memory box, we kept finding his whiskers everywhere after he died and I've placed photos and reminders of him in it. Too painful to look at now but one day I will. I so know what you mean about thinking they would just be there... I used to imagine him sleeping in my sons bed as my son got older. My Son is only 3 and doesn't remember him. It's a lesson in life I guess... Nothing lasts forever and need to make each day count with those you love smile

mignonette Wed 28-Nov-12 21:23:27

Oh Zoo

So much, so close together. I am so so sorry.

mignonette Wed 28-Nov-12 21:22:36

It will feel less overwhelming in time. I hope....I am thinking of you Zoo and everybody else on here. The connection, companionship and support they give is inestimable. We are now finding that out aren't we?

I never expected grief and pain like this. And I am not displacing losing my father onto my cat. The two are separate.

Hoping that you will soon think of your cat with smiles instead of tears. It would have been quick. You'd have seen evidence of your cat dragging himself about, lots of mud or dirt on him, marks on the ground etc and it really reads as though it was swift.

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:20:40

I cross posted with a few people there including your second post Mignonette. I can well understand how you are feeling. I am so sorry for the loss of your father too. The timing is horrible. After finding and burying my cat on Saturday I found out on Sunday that my grandfather is in hospital dying. It's a lot to deal with all at once. It must be awful for you not knowing whether he was hit or not, or what happened. Much sympathy.

So sorry to hear of all these losses sad

Zoonose Wed 28-Nov-12 21:15:43

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat too Mignonette

It's made me think a lot about our relationship with animals and how strong the connection is despite there being no language.

It is awful both the death and not knowing. I had hoped the same thing about her being in a space rather than hiding in the bushes.

I know it will never be OK that any of our cats died this way, it will just be something that has to be accepted.

Fishandjam Wed 28-Nov-12 21:14:30

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's heartbreaking to lose a loved animal in this way. Our lovely cat died suddenly 6 years ago in similar circumstances - though she made it up the path towards us before keeling over (turned out to have been cardiac arrest rather than trauma). Big hugs to you.

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