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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

My heart sinks when ds(16) says hes going out on a saturday night

46 replies

ssd · 14/03/2015 17:41

I wish he'd stay in, I wish he was little and stayed in and watched Ant and Dec with us

I trust him, hes a great boy, but hes 16 nearly 17 and its scary.

God knows what its like out there now.

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SecretSquirrels · 14/03/2015 17:55

It sure is scary. Even worse when he's 17 and driving.
I miss them being little.

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OrinocoTheWomble · 14/03/2015 17:55

You've made me want to cry. My DS is only 8, so a while before this happens here, but I absolutely dread it. I want him to stay age 8 forever.

Do you stay up all evening worrying?

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ssd · 14/03/2015 17:57

yes, until he comes home

god knows how my mum and dad handled me backpacking around Europe alone aged 18 for 2 years with no mobile or internet

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PossumPoo · 14/03/2015 18:00

I dread this OP and dd is only 4! Hope he has an early night

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SirChenjin · 14/03/2015 18:03

Where does he go that makes you worry so much? My 17 year old goes out to his friends or GF's house (or they come here), or they go out for a meal or to the cinema - I can't say I worry at all

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ssd · 14/03/2015 18:05

out, he goes out!!

either into town or to a friends house, but I dont know all his friends now his social circle is getting wider and I cant drop him off and go in and meet the parents like I did when he was small

aarrgghh!!!

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ssd · 14/03/2015 18:06

might add, I am a natural worrier, I can worry for Britain!

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Mumblechum1 · 14/03/2015 18:06

I was always delighted that he was going out at 16/17, was more worried when he didn't tbh - at least they have friends and a social life!

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DontDrinkandFacebook · 14/03/2015 18:08

I know exactly what you mean. It is very scary. So many problems with fighting, drugs, alcohol, car accidents …it's terrifying. I can never sleep properly until I know they are in and safe.

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charlie0123 · 14/03/2015 18:23

I feel your pain! My eldest is 18 now so I can't stop him going out or tell him when to be home. It's often after 4am and I don't rest properly til he's back safe. He doesn't drink a lot but I do worry about other people - a perceived wrong look or talking to the wrong girl and it could all kick off. Even when he's at uni I need to know he's got home safe. Aaaaargh - wish he was little again when I had total control.

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Newyearsunresolutions · 14/03/2015 18:33

My almost 18yr old goes into the city most Saturdays, it's miles away from where we live and I do worry myself stupid. I have to go and collect him from the station at some point. He has form for losing his phone, missing the last train, getting so drunk he ended up on the wrong train miles from home. It's his 18th next Saturday and he's planning on going into the city again and I know already it's not going to be pretty for me. I'm worrying about tonight already like I do every Saturday night. I do feel your pain, bring back the toddler tantrum days any day.

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Missymoomoo1979 · 14/03/2015 18:40

I honestly believe that the teenage years are the hardest. My eldest is 19 this year. Thankfully he spends alot of time at his girlfriends. I hate the waiting for them to come home

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Newyearsunresolutions · 14/03/2015 18:46

I think so too, it was better when he had a girlfriend because they would spend one weekend at hers and one at ours, less time to worry then.

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Missymoomoo1979 · 14/03/2015 18:48

I've got it come a further 3 times.

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thenextday · 14/03/2015 18:53

I don't worry at all!

D's is 15 and travels all over the country on a Saturday by train following his football team...on away games often doesn't get back till 10 pm, coming back through London to where we live.
His home ground is an hour and a half away.

He has just begun to have the odd cider.

Dd is 18 and is always out...I never collect her ..she uses public transport. Don't wait up for her.

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BeadyBagsaTella · 14/03/2015 18:55

I know how you feel. DS16 nearly 17 has started going out on a Friday or Saturday night. DS19 didn't really go out much until he was 18 so this is all new to me. Mind you, I worried about DS19 not going out enough when he was that age. Either way, I worry!

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Newyearsunresolutions · 14/03/2015 18:58

I think if I didn't have to always collect him from the station then I wouldn't worry so much but we live in the middle of nowhere with hardly any buses.

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Faithope · 14/03/2015 21:55

I feel like this with my ds1 who is 16. I want him in so I know where he is then when he's in I think he should be out having fun. My mind has no logic. My ds2 who is only 1 and dc who is yet to be born, I think I will go into a coma when they turn into teens then be woken when they are 21. Il be 15 years older by then and an even more nervous old wreck!! Or I could get ds1 who will be all grown up, wise and in his 30's to chaperon his brother and brother or sister about for me??

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poppymoon · 14/03/2015 22:16

my ds is out most saturdays and sundays. he often stays at a his friends house (yes, i have contact details for friend and friend's mom). we live a bit out in the sticks so he catches the bus to town from the next village and meets up with his friends. he'll be 16 next month. i do worry - i did worry more - but i try to detach myself from it now it because in a couple of years time, he will be an adult (and i was running the risk of worrying myself insane). not sure how i will deal with the driving yet though.

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Newyearsunresolutions · 14/03/2015 22:27

Well looks like I was right to worry about tonight. Ds's phone is off, most probably out of battery. Am at the train station for the second time this evening after seeing if he's on the train. Only two more trains tonight.

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chiefbrody · 15/03/2015 10:23

thenextday....

I read your post and wondered.

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ssd · 15/03/2015 10:27

I hope he got home ok newyearsun.

I can remember when ds1 was about 2 or 3, a guy was round our house doing a bit of building work, and ds was mad about bob the builder then and was forever in his way trying to help and I was driven a bit demented by it all. I said to the builder I wish ds wasn't under my feet all day and he said well my son is 19, at least at that age, meaning ds, you know where he is....

never a truer word was spoken....

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MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/03/2015 12:38

My 17yo goes out to play football with his friends. Once in a blue moon he goes to the pictures

When I was his age I was out all the time, dancing and drinking purple nasties and snogging lads

I sort of wish ds was. Lads, lasses, whatevs.

It was fuuuuun

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MymumisaG · 15/03/2015 14:52

I'd be more worried if they stayed in on a Saturday night or a Friday night. I'd think they'd fallen out with friends or bf/gf. Ds1 is in Australia travelling so no point worrying about him, Ds2 is 18 and at weekends always out with mates or at girlfriends (or she's here) and Dd16 again always busy. I don't lie awake worrying about them Dds bf will bring her back usually or if not she'll sleep over at a friends to friend will come here. Maybe I should be worrying more?

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thenextday · 15/03/2015 15:20

Wondered what chiefbrody?
Great name btw

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