Would you go on holiday without your 17 year old?

(34 Posts)
winniemum Fri 25-Oct-13 15:13:07

Just that really. We have a 17yr old DD. DH wants to go away for 5 days.My DD doesn't want to come. I'm not sure about leaving her as I think she'll be lonely and it's her half term too. I don't think we should go but DH does and says if she doesn't want to come it means he doesn't get a holiday. Not sure what to do.

herladyship Fri 25-Oct-13 15:16:11

do you have family & friends around she could call on in an emergency? And how independent is she usually?

My DS is currently travelling around Australia without us & most of his friends are away at uni, so I'm inclined to think yes! grin

herladyship Fri 25-Oct-13 15:16:31

DS is 18 btw

PestoSpookissimos Fri 25-Oct-13 15:16:45

I wouldn't make her go if she didn't want to. But I would make arrangements for her to stay with either family of friends for the duration. I would not leave her home alone.

YDdraigGoch Fri 25-Oct-13 15:19:59

Yes, I would. But it would depend on the DD. We have good, friendly neighbours and lots of support nearby if she needed it.

Lottiedoubtie Fri 25-Oct-13 15:20:02

Yes I would. Although I would probably pay, bribe ask a friend or family member to be on 'party watch'.

winniemum Fri 25-Oct-13 17:34:37

Thanks for the replies. My DD isn't very independent and hasn't got a huge circle of friends, so I imagine she will probably stay at home most of the time, which is what worries me. She isn't the type for wild parties. I just don't want her to be lonely.
I'm really torn as DH wants to go.

valiumredhead Fri 25-Oct-13 17:43:46

Yes I would.

Madlizzy Fri 25-Oct-13 17:48:52

She might actually enjoy having the house to herself.

My son has been left at home since he was 15 when he didnt want to come with us, he is normally reponsible, i have friends who live near who he can go to in a emergency, and i leave a spare key with them, he did once have a party though was not happy about that or the broken door, But he is happy at home and cook and clean. Wouldn't leave my now 17 year old DD without her brother here the place would be trashed as soon as i walked out there would be a party invite on facebook. If you can trust our DD and she has somewhere to go in an emergency i would go, she will be in uni/working in a few years she needs to learn independence

chocoluvva Fri 25-Oct-13 18:50:09

I'd wait until next year or go for just a couple of days. I'm not saying that's what everyone else should do - just that it's what I'd do.

We left DSD when she was almost 17 to go away for 4 nights. She didn't want to come. We had a family member check on her and she was fine. She did have friends round/stay over though.

valiumredhead Fri 25-Oct-13 18:57:11

I agree about having friend over for a sleep over-ones you have vetted firstgrin

Bumply Fri 25-Oct-13 19:01:16

This was the last year ds1 was willing to go on holiday with us. He's 15. Next year I'll see if he can stay at his dads but if that's not possible he can stay at home on his own. He'll have friends and neighbours he can contact if there's an emergency but I can't see him getting lonely.

SwedishEdith Fri 25-Oct-13 19:14:11

This will be us and next year. I can't see how you can make them go with you at that age (realise you're not suggesting this OP) and I agree with your husband about not getting a holiday otherwise. Even if she does get lonely, 5 days isn't too long really.

sandyballs Fri 25-Oct-13 19:20:37

When you say not very independent, in what way.

I'd be disappointed if DS didn't want to come with us and I'd be trying to choose a holiday that he would want to come on.
If all else failed and I wouldn't get a holiday this year otherwise, I'd have no qualms leaving him alone.

BackforGood Fri 25-Oct-13 19:47:51

Depends on the child.
ds - who is 17 - no way. I'd quite like a house to come home to.
dd1 - who is currently 14 - absolutely would in 3 yrs time, she's FAR more sensible than ds, and more mature, and less impulsive and does things like turning the gas off when she's finished cooking, and shuts the front door when she's leaving the house, even now.

Mattissy Fri 25-Oct-13 19:49:29

I stopped going on holiday with my mam and dad when I was15 and moved to Miami on my own when I was 18, so not I think leaving her at home on her own at 17 is fine.

shrieklesoda Fri 25-Oct-13 19:57:13

my parents went on holidays without me at this age, and I'd class myself as having had a very sheltered upbringing. I don't like their house, I find it quite creepy, but it was fine if I had a friend to stay, or sometimes I just went and stayed wigh a friend. I had a full driving license though, so quite a lot of independence, if that makes a difference.

BikeRunSki Fri 25-Oct-13 20:01:40

My parents left me alone when they went abroad when I'm was 16, but i was the dullest, geekiest 17 yo that ever walked the planet, and i probably just appreciated the extra physics revision time. And my older DB lived nearby.

BikeRunSki Fri 25-Oct-13 20:02:26

Sorry, that 16 should have been 17...

mrsjay Fri 25-Oct-13 21:50:35

yes i would my eldest dd is/was like yours we left her at 17 she didnt want to come so she stayed home she went to my mums a couple of nights for dinner but she was ok and tbh i think she enjoyed the house and telly to herself, she had her friend over for pizza and probably blue wkd but she was ok and no wild parties grin

livinginwonderland Sat 26-Oct-13 13:08:14

Yes, leave her. She's too old to have to go to a friends or family member's. She doesn't need to be "watched". Just make sure she has the number of where you're staying and can contact you/the neighbours in an emergency.

My mum always gave me her best friend's number and said if I needed anything urgent or whatever to ring her. I never did but it was nice to know I could.

Svrider Sat 26-Oct-13 13:47:19

Of course shock
You do realise she will be an adult in a matter of months

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