DS 2 is off to uni this year, hopefully. We discussed as a family which universities he might like to apply to, weighed up the pros and cons of various accommodation with him but the choices have been entirely his. He went to Leeds last week, which is his first choice and where he has an offer we think he will be able to meet, for an open day. I simply bought him some rail tickets and left him to it. He returned home quite shocked that all the other applicants had had at least one parent with them. As a result of this there was not much opportunity to talk to the others who would be on the course, though the tutors spent more time discussing various things.
When I was off on this sort of visit nearly 40 years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of inviting my parents along ( although they wre footing 100% of my expenses). We will take him if and when he starts, and of course visit fairly regularly. Am I very odd to be the only parent who didn't go or send spouse?
Does the fact that all the others wanting to do this course seem to be girls explain this?
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University visits - helicopter parents?
higgle · 16/03/2013 12:37
Much more common for them to be accompanied these days. In fact most universities have parent centred sessions to talk about finance etc whilst the students go off to more course-related sessions for example.
That said, if he's happy to go off by himself let him go.
Hope he gets the offers he wants 
This doesn't surprise me at all. I was at a Uni interview last week to which all four other applicants had brought there mum. 
Oh well, I must be a helicopter parent then!
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In the last few weeks I have been to Nottingham, Loughborough and Lincoln at DS1's request. The majority of youngster's were accompanied by their parents. At no point were the parents a hindrance to questions being asked. Infact, from the way the talks, and sessions were set out, particularly at Nottingham, I would say it was expected that the parents would be coming.
There was a thread on this on higher education with some admissions tutors giving their perspective. I went to two of DDs visit because she asked me along as another pair of eyes and ears , she went to the others with her friends. I kept my mouth closed and I was very shocked at some fathers who liked the sound of their own voice dominated the questioning, clearly they were under the illusion they were entitled. Having said that in one session I became very concerned that the course tutor (it was a course being offered for the first time) didn't really have all the departments fully behind the course aims. I am not sure DD would have had the experience of organisational/uni politics to have spotted the warning signs. It was the only time I asked a question and the answer knocked that course off DDs list.
It was also a fascinating exercise in genetics, entertained myself matching the offspring to the parents
On my uni visit I travelled the length of the country, missed my last train from King's Cross, had to wait 5 hours (thankfully had the sense not to go for a walk around the area ) and ended up on the 3am milk train stopping off at every town in England and still had to go into school when I finally arrived home at lunchtime Character building obviously....
I went to the open days with DD but dont think anyone would describe me as a helicopter parent DD was perfectly capable of getting from one end of the country to the other by bus or train, that didnt faze her, but like Maat, she wanted me there to share and discuss things. I didnt offer an opinion on each Uni until she asked, but interestingly we liked and disliked exactly the same things at each place. We didnt look at laundries or supermarkets but there was plenty of useful info about courses, entry requirements, mock lectures, the different types of accommodation and costs. In the end , the final decision on where to go was of course DD's.
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Certainly in the 80s I went to interviews/open days on my own, although my mother then started whining about the places that were too far away and strongly suggesting I went to one of the 2 nearer unis . I think things have obviously changed a lot.
DH recently had a new graduate come for a 'meet the workplace' visit for a professional job - accompanied by her father.
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