cory we are currently waiting for a CAHMS appointment for dd. I hope things progress well with you and you come out the other side.
chris clearly you never will get it. Ever. You don't see that there's a massive difference between offering advice relevant to a particular situation and starting a thread advising us to parent your way.
Chris I understand what you were trying to do in your opening post, and I get that you just wanted to tell everyone about your method and were hoping to help.
And I have no doubt that, for a mildly stroppy teenager, your method would work. As would many other methods.
But you can't just turn up here and give us all your wisdom, you really can't. You didn't ask for a debate or a conversation, you just told us what to do. Can you not see that hackles would be raised immediately? Have you heard of the term Mansplaining?
And, there are lots of people in this section with terrible anxieties about their teens - way beyond taking away their xbox because there was a stand-off over homework, and those people, me included, know very well that their child is looking for conflict (thanks very much).
If you want to stick around, hunker down, have a look around, get feel of the place and, if you really have experience with difficult teens, you might become a useful poster. Only don't lecture or presume, because, unlike real life where others might nod politely and ignore , on here you will be told to back off.
The difficulty Chris (trying to be nice here) is that some of us are dealing with practically impossibly sad situations with our teenagers. And it is difficult to listen to people - and we seem to get a fair few of them on this board - who swan in and say "teenagers are lovely, if yours isn't then you have really screwed up".
We know we have screwed up . Unfortunately we are not quite sure where, or how, or why it all went wrong. We are just trying to cope with where we are now.
This is a nice, supportive board 90% of the time . The remaining 10% of the time we all gang and frighten away those who say "why don't you ground him?" or "I wouldn't put up with that" or "you reap what you sow" - a particular favourite of mine which I hear a lot in real life.
Today I told ds2 quietly and calmly that I didn't want to be a mother any more, that I was crap at it and was quitting. I then calmly and quietly locked myself into my room and burst into tears.