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Your teen wins as soon as you raise your voice, they are looking for conflict.

Your rules should always be...

Ask first
Tell second
Punish third

Ask them to do something, if no reaction, then tell them, if no reaction punish them, never raise your voice or argue with them as you are the parent.

Trust me not easy but it works

Chris

Umm ok

Have you got teens?

they're evil

Seriously, will that really work?

Why didn't someone tell me that when my eldest became a teen 27 years ago, then her sister, then her brother, could have saved me lot of shouting discussions.

Never mind, fingers crossed, I'll see if it works with the youngest not a hope in hell

PS, it didn't work when I was a teen either

thanks Chris
that doesn't work by the way

If I had followed those rules I would have been toast

Yes had 4 teens and worked with teens for over 16yrs.

(PS in case your wondering no not a troll :-) )

And yes it does work

Chris

You missed out a line...

and repeat

No never repeat

who is Chris?

it doesn't work

Seriously?

So, after one cycle of ask/tell/punish - your teens always did as they were asked first time?

What kind of punishments did you dole out?

I was saying never repeat yourself say it only once....

Of course you may need to repeat it the next day etc...
Chris

You are wrong.

I have only ever had to ask once.

I am perfect as are my teenagers.

Ah well that told us didn't it.

I am so glad you were there for me Chris

I only have to raise my eyebrows.

Oh but Chris you don't have any children

How did you come by your precious knowledge?

I think any teenager who doesn't rattle your cage isn't doing their job properly and is not preparing for life without you where they will not always want to toe the line and obey rules

<mind boggles at ask, tell, punish>

wah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Go have some teens, Chris old bean, and then come and tell us how that's working out for you

Gosh - whoever would have thought it?
So glad you have imparted that drop of wisdom.
Life will be plain sailing for us all now.

Such fun!

What about Arse Kick repeat

Or wine pour ignore which was what I did

I like wine/pour/ignore

My DH's maxim with his teenage daughters would be: Tell first. That's it. (there is no need for any more steps). Amazingly it works.

And no, he has never hit them or punished them (well, not since they were teengares anyway which is the only way I have known them. I think when they were little they may have got sent to their room).

PS I would be on the "wine pour ignore plan" if it had ever been up to me, but given that they have never needed telling twice on anything, I never needed any techniques!

<settles in with biscuits>