Please help me - feeling desperately ugly and need a makeover

[Nosnowjustrain]

I am in such a rut and desperately need some style advice. I want to completely make myself over and have no idea where to start. What I really need is someone non biased (with a good sense of style) to tell me what suits me. I have no idea especially with hair, makeup , clothes and glasses. If anyone thinks they could help I'll pm pictures - don't really want to post them here in case they end up in the daily fail under the heading 'ugly desperate mum turns to mn as last resort' or the like!!
As a rough idea, I'm 5ft4, 12st, medium build, shoulder length brown hair, very fine and limp - generally worn in a pony tail. Square face, strong jaw, highish cheek bones, quite large forehead, and what I think is a big nose and chin but been told not that bad.
I have asked friends and colleagues but they're all to non commital!!
Thank you

[ginorwine]

I'd start with good
Hair cut
Bra
Some basic make up
Are there any colours you are attracted to ?
Styles ?
Look on Pinterest ?
I've tried to do neutrals recently and it's not worked !
Do you need a certain look for work or everyday etc?

[Nosnowjustrain]

Work is just smart casual. I've spent many hours on Pinterest but just don't know what would suit me.
I wear jeans and tunic tops at the moment but feel frumpy and dumpy!!

[ginorwine]

How old are you ? Ish ?
I lose my mojo at times !
It can be difficult !
Have you any fave items that you have or used to have that you still love. ?

[Hopefullyoneday1]

I agree with ginorwine, start with a good haircut and maybe a little colour to freshen it. That alone can make you feel ten times better.

I live in jodphurs and wellies, most days have mud up to my neck and straw in my hair.....not very glamorous at All

How do you feel about using sunbeds? a touch of colour can also make a huge difference.

Your more than welcome to PM some pics if you want x

[ginorwine]

Clarins do a gradual facial tan .

[Nosnowjustrain]

Mid thirties. I would love to wear everyday dresses I think, to feel a bit more feminine . The only clothes I love are my slouchy home clothes, I don't think I love anything I've worn in the last decade at least!

[Nosnowjustrain]

I am very pale so some colour would be good.

[PurpleDaisies]

How do you feel about using sunbeds? a touch of colour can also make a huge difference.

If you want a bit of colour, get a fake tan. Or better, embrace the pale and interesting look. Being safe in the sun is so important (my friend died from skin cancer just before Christmas).

On a lighter note, getting your eyebrows professionally shaped makes a big difference to how groomed you look. I love getting mine done.

[breezeharbour]

Could you try one of those makeup consultations? I've had a Benefit one in the past but I know other companies do them (try Boots, Debenhams etc.) they can show you colours to suit and how to make the most of your features

Same with a hair consolation. They are usually free too.

Do a pretend shop on an online fashion store- go through the pages and just add everything you like to the basket. When you're done, go through and choose a few bits to buy. I love doing this and it can help you find new styles and outfits.

I felt a hell of a lot better about myself when I started getting my nails done. It was nice to have something taken care of for me that I did't have to worry about maintaining. I've also started going for HD brows which I love, if you have the budget that might be something to consider or something like massage, wax etc.

Apart from that- exercise, drink lots of water, invest in a good face cream, positive attitude :)

[pnutter]

I also have a square face and similar facial bits! Search hairstyles for square face. Some styles look shit on me. Body in hair and height on Crown is good but I also have very fine hair so it's tricky. Fringe?

[Nosnowjustrain]

Sorry about your friend purple.

Have wimped out of sending pictures hopefully as too hideous!! Thank you for offering to look though!

[breezeharbour]

Also agree with Purple- Sunbeds are stupidly dangerous. Fake tan or even just a blusher/bronzer that suits your colour will be just as good and a lot bloody safer

[Nosnowjustrain]

Ah, the fringe pnutter I keep thinking one would suit me but when I ask my hairdresser she tries to put me off.

Thank you everyone for the ideas - may hit the makeup stands on my next child free day (so about 5yrs time then!)

[pnutter]

I think I look better with a fringe to hide up the forehead . I wear glasses also

[ginorwine]

Bobbi brown do fab make overs
. I ask for a natural me but better look and have never been disappointed .they show you the teqniques like tight lining too if you ask .

[TSSDNCOP]

Do you have a John Lewsis near you? You can book onto the Clinique counter or Bobby Brown and the ladies will give you a tutorial on application and products. I just walked up to the counter and said "my face looks meh what can I do?" Out came a love CC cream, powder, blusher and mascara and in seconds I looked like z new woman. Next week eyes and lips!

Seconding the trip to get eyebrows shaped, and then the hairdressers. Nothing IMO is more aging than scraggy hair scrapped up in a manky old scrunchie.

Glasses if you've got a David Clolow near you they're smashing at matching frames to face. I found them very honest and patient.

Most beauticians struggle in January, lots near us are doing mini manicures and pedis for 16 quid. Ring round a few.

Start taking some me brisk walks. Nothing like a bit of fresh air to perk I your skin

Once you've tackled the basics done you can tackle clothes. Back to JL and seek out a style advisor. They are great. Not scary at all, and not pushy. Ask for money for an upcoming birthday and treat yourself.

[Seashell70]

Your physical description sounds just like me!
I'm stuck too but I'm in my 40s and definitely look old now.
I'm heading for a new hairdresser, need colour and style overhaul from a pro.

Also, as you're in tunics can I suggest you just stop those, especially the White Stuff mumsy ones. First stop, some skinny jeans and boots. I'm your size and I wear them. Also some 'nice' tops, nothing jersey if possible so you look a little more dressed. Some good knitwear too.

Don't know if that helps much.

[TSSDNCOP]

Also think hard about a fringe. They can become a full time job and are no friend to humidity. If your hairdresser is hesitant take that as a sign.

[pnutter]

Yeah you do have to maintain a fringe this is true.

[SeasonalVag]

Op we sound very similar, down to the weight and face shape! If you wear glasses and have a strong jaw, I'd avoid the fringe scenario unless you have large eyes....I cut in a blunt fringe a few months ago and it seemed to highlight my jaw. Basically I looked like a little munchkin with glasses and Chin taking up my entire face.

Layers aiming at some point on the neck is more flattering. And also softens face shape.

Get rid of tunics, they just make me look stocky and as were the same height and weight, probably be the same for you.

I read somewhere, might have been here, that a slightly padded decent bra allows clothes to skim you more, not tried that yet but will.

Apparently layers are the answer, but I do throw on jumpers so I have no idea. I will say, though, that I look mumsy as hell with the clothing

[IDismyname]

I am trying to escape the Mumsy Look, too! It helps that I have a bit more time and money to spend, now that DC are a little older.

I would echo the above:

Hair. Try a consultation with a different hairdresser, if nothing it will give you a comparison to your existing one.

Nails. YY to getting them done. I feel a million dollars with decent nails!

Eyebrows. Get them sorted, too.

I don't wear much make up, but I do spend on decent mascara, and I find the Olay facial tint and moisturiser an absolute godsend. I turn a greyish blue at this time of year. I get it the paler version for fair skins, and I don't apply it every day. Also Clinique chubby lipstick. It's a sheer and natural colour.

I have ditched the leggings and tunics look, and now wear dark jeans as my 'basic' uniform. Usually get them from M&S, so not ££. I'm quite curvy, but found the bootcut too frumpy. Am trying out their slim bootcut instead in the longest length I can. If you have more ££, get the NYDJ jeans. They hold you in much better!

HTH

[Dowser]

I prefer gelish nails to shellac. they seem to lat longer and help your own to grow.

If you think tunics make you look dumpy why not try a dress that gives you a waist. Jersey dresses are good for that. This time of year I wear 100 denier beige tights as I get sick of all the black look. I had to get them from eBay . Marvellous, lovely and warm and indestructible. There's gorgeous shoe boots in the sales right now
Good nutrition for good skin. drop the sugar and eat more protein.
Take some viridian vit d3 drops. We all need these extra supplement. Maybe some hypericum, st Johns wort if you're feeling a bit depressed.

Unless you have stunning looks and let's be honest most of us don't, hair scraped into a ponytail is not going to be your best look. I too have a strong face, wide forehead, high cheek bones , strong jaw and the only reason I wear that style is because I have a fringe and it's a) very windy or b) very sunny and I don't want to get my hair slathered in sun cream. You need a style to frame your face and soften it.

do you prefer yourself in summer. I know I do. Is it more a seasonal thing?

[WhyDoesGastonBark]

Feel free to pm a picture to me and I will be honest (& kind) x

[FrankUnderwoodsWife]

PM me pictures if you would like. I promise to be honest but kind.
I have posted pictures on MN of what I wear. I am at least two stone overweight for my height!
Also, the key is highlighting your good points, while covering up your problem areas.
I genuinely believe, even I f you are slightly overweight, Spanx and good underwear are your best friend.
It helps smooth out lumps and bumps, means you can wear more fitted clothing, which I genuinely believe is more flattering.

[WhyDoesGastonBark]

Without a picture my advice would be...

Hair - you say it is fine and limp so I would go and get a bob cut in but no fringe if possible. Shorter hair tends to look thicker and healthier and a good hairdresser will be able to advise on a length that would suit you. If budget allows maybe also get some subtle(ish) highlights - depending on wether you are cool toned or warm toned would be what sort of colour to go for but again a hairdresser should be able to help with that. The highlights will create a bit more dimension and make your hair look thicker.
Reverse washing (condition then shampoo) will also help give more texture to your hair.

Clothes - I would go and get a good pair of jeans that can be dressed up or down, a nice fitted blazer & a dress that can be worn with and without black tights and dressed up or down. Oh and a pair of flat ankle boots. Again if I saw a picture I could suggest shapes, colours etc. Also a statement necklace - primark do some good ones for cheap to try it out a bit.

Makeup - book in a lesson on a counter... Mumsnet seems to hate MAC but they are trained makeup artists and if you very clearly tell them you want natural they will do that. My Mum & I have very different makeup styles and never have issues with getting what we want.
Then you can look around for cheaper alternatives to products they used if you liked the look. The cost of the lesson you get back for things you buy so you could buy the colour matched foundation at least.