Returned to my natural brunette and never felt so dull :(

[WineIsFineAtNine]

After years of highlights (been having them done since I was 18 and I'm now 47 ) I've returned to my natural brunette hair, I had it dyed earlier this week after my hairdresser said my hair was in need of a break from the bleach after so many years. But... I feel SO dull. I never realised just how much attention blondes get and how I 'felt' like a blonde (I know this sounds ridiculous and I am Infact cringing as I type, would never say such shallow dross in real life). Now I look like every other late 40's, size 16 mum of 3. I will return to the bleach and just accept looking like a scarecrow. Has anybody else felt like this? Have I bought into too much Marilyn-marketing bullshit in 'feeling' like a blonde?

My brunette DD's (19,15 and 11) think I'm nuts!

[burnishedsilver]

Give it a month and see if you still feel the same.

[ICanSeeForMiles]

I know exactly how you feel! I've been blonde for the last 16 years and have periodically gone back to brown, last a couple of days and then hate it. I'm not naturally dark brown but always think how healthy it will look and then hate it.
Deep conditioning and serum is your friend.

[BeautifulBatman]

How about adding some gold or copper foils?

[Madbengalmum]

Yes blondes do get more attention and they dont have to be good looking to do so. The blonde lighter colouring is more eye catching. However, shoot me down or not i believe you have to be pretty stunning to be a brunette and get lots of attention.

[FluffyCubs]

Actually I find that blonde hair can be quite ageing every woman over fifty is blonde where I live... I'm a lone brunette in a sea of blonde mums and love it! It's all about condition of hair, I think.

[squoosh]

I don't know why your hair would need a break from years of bleaching. The hair you have now isn't the same hair that coloured 10 years ago.

If you still feel unhappy being a brunette in a month's time definitely go back to blonde. The main person you need to impress is yourself!

See if there's a salon near you that offers Olaplex, it's a new treatment that ensures coloured hair doesn't frazzle.

[AppleSnapple]

I am still in my thirties but last year went back to brunette- actually I thought I was mousy blonde but apparently not, I am quite chestnutty! Anyway, like you I felt SO dull for ages but it really grew on me and now I love it- significantly different to most of the mums on the school run who are all peroxide blonde or highlighted to the hilt!!

Maybe it's not right for you but do yourself (and your wallet) a favour and give it a month before you decide. I also think a smarter haircut is required to keep it looking good- what I'm saving in highlights I'm now mostly probably spending on haircuts...!! Worth it though.

[XiCi]

If your hair is wrecked from the bleach you can get caramel or copper highlights that will brighten your hair without using bleach. If your hairdresser suggested a break from the bleach I'd listen to her. Brown hair in good condition is surely better than damaged hair that's broken off from over bleaching

[Dowser]

I've had blonde highlights for decades now. About 15 years ago I asked for a few lowlights. Omg I came out brown . I didn't look like me at all.

I pulled my big girls pants up and didn't cry and went back the next day for it to be redone.

I expected a few caramel shades in with the blonde and just looked like the hairdresser had thrown a tin of brown paint at it.

The other hairdressers said it was so not me. I won't make that mistake again.

Had my highlights done yesterday. She only does the top and any bits that need it and never takes it all the way down the hair shaft. My hair is longer now. Past my shoulders and I had a good inch cut off. I treat it with kid gloves and brush it very gently with a tangle teaser brush.

I'm hanging onto it as long as possible . Early 60 s now. Bit of grey in there too.

Let us know how you get on. It must be nearly 40 years for me.

[wickedwaterwitch]

If you're about to go grey then blonde is much easier for covering it

If you don't like it go blonde again!

[Blodss]

I am over 50 and darker hair near my face makes me look older and rather dull as it throws shadows onto the face. Blond hair makes my face appear younger and more youthful as it lights it up. I know what you mean about feeling "blond". I love it and feel so much better this way.

[bookishandblondish]

Have you rethought your make up and clothing?

I had to rethink my make up and clothes ( what I wore next to my face) as with blonde highlights, I could wear black whereas it washed me out when I returned to darker lights.

[LikeSilver]

Second the Olaplex suggestion. It's amazing.

[AllPizzasGreatAndSmall]

If you're 47 chances are your natural colour is not the brunette of your youth, there's probably a fair sprinkling of grey in your real natural colour.

Agree with a previous poster that it's far more common to see women in their 40s/50s with highlighted blonde hair which obviously isn't natural.

[Iusedtobecarmen]

OP
I have a similar situation.
In my 40's. Natural hair mid brown.
Over the years ive had it hi lighted -(suits me), dark brown(not as good as id like it to be but good with a tan) and red.
Last 3yrs I've had it red. Bright red. Think Amy childs. Get lots of compliments on the nice colour and how it suits me.
However, fancied a change but have been limited. Quite like hi lights again as flattering but needed to go darker first to get rid of red.
Current look is brown. Someone informed me I look mumsy. What the fuck do I do?

[Bumdance]

I think blonde can look utterly stunning but it does seem to be almost a uniform in some circles. Give the brunette a while, you might just need to get used to it! If you really hate it you can always go back to blonde.

[ArialBold]

Is there a halfway house? Some nice golden or reddish lowlights, no bleach? Something warm and natural, I'm thinking.

I'm going against the grain here, but with the exception of shorter blonde styles, I actually think blonde is quite ageing. And poorly conditioned blonde hair isn't a good look.

[SinglePringle]

I must be bloody incredible looking then, as I get tonnes of attention as a very dark brunette.

Go! Be Blonde! Let us true brunettes really stand out!

[squoosh]

I actually think blonde is quite ageing.

It depends. Brassy yellow hair doesn't flatter anyone but likewise trying to maintain the jet black hair of one's youth is extremely ageing.

Most people look better for lightening their hair a bit as they get older.

[Sunshineandsilverbirch]

I bet you look 10 years younger.

I know several blonde women who tried our a brunette look after years if dying it. They all looked much, much better as a brunette, fresher, skin looked better etc.

Unaccountably they all switched back to blonde and immediately aged themselves again. Blonde can be very harsh. Not all attention is necessarily positive.

[ArialBold]

I agree going a bit lighter is more flattering as you get older. I have naturally dark, black/brown hair with lots of grey and have gone a chestnut colour all over with some slightly lighter 'balyage' as I hurl towards 40.

I think blonde hair past about shoulder length is very associated with youth, though, and often when you see a woman with blonde hair from behind one might expect her to be young when she turns around...so when she is say, 40 plus, it plays a trick on the mind that says 'Oh...she's old'

I know that sounds awful. I'm a feminist, honest Guv...so dont shoot me for that statement ). People should wear their hair how they want, obviously. But if I am brutally honest, I think a lot of blondes would look better with armer, softer golden or reddish browns...

[ArialBold]

*warmer

[MNetter15]

I could have written this thread!

I have always went for blonde highlights (dark blonde, light blonde and caramel) but decided on toning it down to darker and last week the hairdresser did dark blonde and brown low lights AND a much shorter cut and I hate it. I don't see the dark blonde at all, my hair is practically brown. It has aged me 10 years.

I know that it's only hair but I'm very upset about it, it isn't me at all.

What are you going to do OP?

I pretended that I liked it because I didn't want to hurt her feelings but it really wasn't what I had in mind. I wanted more jennifer Anniston (Rachel in friends) in the earlier series'.

[Petal02]

Blimey, I could also have written this thread!

I tried to go darker a few years ago, I wanted a lovely warm Jennifer Lopez shade. However I had a shorter cut at the same time as the new colour, and the result was more Janice Battersby than Ms Lopez.

Its very hard to go darker once you've been blonde. I'm convinced it alters your brain cells!

[Frostycake]

This happened to me too and I'm a natural (dark) blonde.

I went brown and oh my goodness, the hair looked lovely but the shaddows it cast on my face were terrible. I had to dye my eyebrows and lashes to match too. It was very 'heavy.'

The right colour hair for you is often the colour you were when you were between 4 and 8 years old. You need to soften it as you age though as you lose the pigment from your skin.

I think great hair, well conditioned at any age is youthful. Regarding darker hair being youthful, I'd agree to a certain extent but we've all seen older women who dye their hair too dark (the colour of their youth?) and end up looking older as the hair is too vibrant when contrasted against their ageing skin.

Where I live, most women in their forties and fifties have blonde or red hair but it's very well done - subtle, creamy and caramel toned highlites rather than all over bleach. The technique's the key, as is the style (no 'Housewives of' hair).