Maintainance increases... Who decides?

[Eliza22]

That's it really.

My ex left when ds was 4. He pays maintenance directly into the bank for ds, every month. It was £250 for the first 6 years. I then asked for a rise and has gone to £280 for the past 3 years. I have no idea whether ex has had a raise at work but, I'd like to increase to £300 a month. Ds 13 now, growing fast! I seem to spend a fortune on shoes ATM! Just wondering.

[WaitingForMe]

DH pays according to CSA guidelines. His ex can feel that is or is not enough but it's up to him/us whether we pay more.

We do as it happens and give money for trips, other school stuff and buy lots of clothes etc but it's his/our choice not hers.

[purpleroses]

I think if you're looking for him to pay more then you need to ask really. There's a calculator on CSA website he can use to check what it should be. Or you can of he'll tell you his income. Now is a good time of year to ask as he should recently have had an end of year P60 from work.

[Eliza22]

Hmmm. I have not idea what he earns. Even when married, we had separate bank accounts. I never saw his bonus (he's in sales). He maintains he's not had a pay rise since we split up and I'm lucky he's "in a job".

Apart from this, we get on Ok, for the sake of our ds. Tricky.

[Letitgoletitgo]

Only been a year for me so far so yet to see any increase, but exh and I do not use CSA, he pays agreed amount direct to me each month. I have it in writing that it will hi up according to inflation each year. I would be very surprised if your ex hasn't had even an inflationary pay rise in that many years, so I'd just ask him. You could ask to see a p60, mention you're thinking of going through CSA, see what response it gets? I don't think £20 rise after 3 years is much to ask. Good luck!

[susiedaisy]

Your ex should give you a copy of his p60 every year so that you can both agree an amount. I think it is 15% of his net income for one child providing the child doesn't live some of the time at the absent parents house if they do maintence can be reduced! Hth

[purpleroses]

His bonus should be included in his P60, though he might argue that he doesn't know it'll be the same each year. Or that he doesn't get it to the end of the year. He could pay you something out of the bonus separately though when he knows what it is.

[Eliza22]

There is not a cat in hell&'so chance of my receiving (on DS's behalf) any amount of ex's bonus. When married, he usually spent it on himself (one year, when we were really hard up, he bought a Ducati bike as it was such a bargain.

He'll tell me to mind my own business if I ask to see his P60 .... Unheard of!!

That's the thing, whenever I have asked in the past, he's just said he's not had any raise etc. I have no way of knowing. Guess if I want to "keep the peace" I'll just have to forget it.

We DO receive 15% of ex's salary, as per divorce settlement in 2005. He is also supposed to pay half towards any clubs/courses/leisure activities but this has never been an occurrence as ds has disability which prevents this.

I just feel that with inflation/cost of living/growth of child etc..... Surely there should be some (small) annual increment?

[Eliza22]

Oh, and thanks all! For taking the time to reply to a not very interesting thread

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I had to take my ex to court after he stopped paying (he's not in the UK) and seeing his accounts was a real eye opener. The maintenance hadn't been increased for 10 years, he too pleaded poverty when I asked for an increase, and the court almost doubled it. They used the standard CSA assessment. He doesn't contribute anything else and ds is lucky to get a birthday card from him.

I think you need to go to the CSA as from what you've said, you won't get a straight answer and a fair amount for your dc from him.

[purpleroses]

I don't think a divorce settlement can prevent you from going to the CSA to get payments - not if the amount you're getting i'd less than you should be. Of you suspect he's paying less than he should be (including his bonus in his salary) then you can go to the CSA and ask them to collect it for you.

[Happybeard]

If he's so happy to up it for whatever you ask for, is be surprised if this isn't because he knows what a good deal he's getting. You can ask CSA to investigate for you but they ask for two months bank statements so he could just drag his heels until he has two relatively low ones and send those in.

Of course, if you go to CSA you run the risk that you were actually on to a good deal

[Letitgoletitgo]

If your divorce settlement was always 15% of salary, I don't think you can have anything to lose by going through CSA as the amount he pays you now is based on 15% from nearly 10 years ago. CSA can check his current income and get you 15% of that?

[Eliza22]

Updating. DH agreed an increase of £20 a month. I said fine, as long as it was genuinely 15% of his total salary/bonus (net). He immediately and ahhed a bit and I said that I trust him, to do the right thing. However, if I find out in future he's short changed us all these years then I would go for repayment of any amount due.

He then said £300 was all he could manage, as he and his girlfriend have just taken on a combined mortgage. I just said this was not relevant. DS is his child, maintenance is payable at a basic rate and I trust him to do the right thing.

He said he will need some time to think on it.

My guess is, he knows he's been having a fairly easy ride.

[ChiefBillyNacho]

You won't be able to backdate anything. If it came to the CSA being involved they will only assess from the point you ask them to collect the money. And I don't think you'd have another way of getting it paid to you - unless he was happy to just hand over the money.

You know him best but I'd be suspicious of him immediately upping what you asked for. It might be that he can afford a lot more than that, and he wants to keep it away from the CSA as he knows he'd be paying more.

If he has nothing to hide and is happy to pay whatever is due, then I think he'd be a bit more upfront about his income.

I think I'd be considering contacting the CSA for an assessment.

[nomoretether]

It's not 15% of net anymore. Check the CMS website - generally it means the NRP ends up paying slightly more than they would have under the CSA net scheme, assuming you don't have 50/50 care which would then mean nothing is payable.
It would also only be 15% of net if the NRP didn't have the child overnight at all otherwise there would be deductions.

[Eliza22]

Thanks for that. DH has ds EOW so, approx 4 nights a month. Ex knows I'm a soft touch. Will see what figure he suggests.

[MeMyselfAnd1]

You know... This is exactly what I thought would be a problem when our dear government decided to disband the CSA: how on earth can you get to a fair private agreement if you cannot get the other parent to disclose their real earnings?

You cannot claim arrears in the future unless you had organised maintenance through the CSA.

I think the only productive thing I can say is that if his lifestyle shows that he is earning far more than the amount he uses to calculate maintenance, then it may be worth it to invest some money in using the pay and collection of CMS (he will have to pay 20% more than the calculated cm, while it will cost you only 4% of the total of the received payment)

Obviously he won't be happy about it so it may be worthit to consider if the extra money you will receive is worth the fall out and emotional cost.

[Eliza22]

Update: after ten days of sarcasm and him moaning that any further increase will impact on his and his partner's new mortgage..... Ex has increased payments by £55 a month. Which tells me that he has never, in 9 yrs of separation/divorce, been entirely honest about what he actually earns. Part of the divorce stipulated that if needed, he would pay me a nominal amount (me, personally) if I should need it additionally. There were times I did need it. I never would have asked or enforced it.

I think he should be ashamed of himself for short changing me, in terms of provision for his son.

[purpleroses]

Well done for pushing it. Sounds like he's probably never been that honest about what he's earning but at least you're getting a bit more now. It's not cheap feeding teenage boys!

[Eliza22]

[HermioneWeasley]

He's a twat

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I get £85/month. That's for 2 kids. ExH is self-employed and obviously keeps his accounts looking small to pay less tax.

We recently sold our house and split the money, so he has £130,000 in his bank account. Would that affect his CSA money?

£85/month for two kids doesn't cover anything.

[Petal02]

I don't think his bank balance would affect the CSA money, I think it's based on earnings.

DH is a self employed builder, his income fluctuated quite a lot, he paid £400 per month for two children, and this never changed in the 7 years that he made payments (he stopped once they got to 18).

However if he'd had a particularly good week, we bought some really nice stuff for DSS, gave him extra pocket money etc, so DSS would definitely benefit from any upturn in fortunes.

But DH would rather have stuck pins in his eyes than given any extra to the ex. £400 per month was a pretty good amount, it was clear that very little of this was ever spent on DSS, and therefore any increase in maintenance would not have benefitted DSS, which is why we spent extra money on him directly.

[sandgrown]

Only interest on capital is taken into account in CSA calculations. With interest rates being so low income can be almost negligible

[Meglet]

This is why the CSA is vital. Private agreements leave parents in a vulnerable position.

AFAIK the CSA don't automatically recalculate, ever I think. I just stick with the original amount. But if he wasn't abusive I could at least ask for them to look at his pay. It's not worth the hassle though.