BM has apparently taken herself off to hospital and has told her mother that she doesn't know when she will be home. As far as we're aware, she has tonsilitis, and DP has been doing all the two ing and fro-ing for the kids this weekend as we knew she was ill even though it's "her" weekend.
Her mother has been in contact with DP and told him this, so it looks like we have the 4 DSC for the forseeable future. We already had them booked for Friday morning til Wednesday morning next week as well as this afternoon til tomorrow morning.
Of course I don't wish anyone to be ill, but working full time and having 5 DSC is certainly challenging even though DP pulls his weight (but also works full time, but flexible hours). I can never sleep properly when they are with us as I think the responsibility for so many little people weighs too heavy on my shoulders especially as it's me who is alone with them, first thing in the morning.
What I can't help resenting is that BM doesn't even acknowledge our existence most of the time or if she does, it is to critisise us and tell us the children don't want to come and "visit" for the 3 days a week they live with us.
I don't really want any advice, just some empathy that although the kids are lovely, it's hard work and emotionally draining having them around all the time.
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Deep breath....
theredhen · 18/10/2010 13:05
We are about to have major building work done!, we wouldn't have gone on holiday without all the children (I rarely get a break from my DS and we wouldn't go away with 1 child and not all 5), and I suspect grandparents would have helped for a few hours while I gave birth, but not much more!
You know, I was a single parent for 7 years and DS would have gone into care if I had gone into hospital long term as I have no family. I used to wake up having nightmares about it and although I never said anything DS would also sometimes cry and ask what would happen to him if I got ill. 
Of course, I am glad that DP's children don't have to worry about things like that, but I also know how grateful I have been to anyone who has looked after DS over the years. I simply couldn't ignore anyone who did that for me and my child.
Felt like such a failure, not being able to provide him with a decent father and a couple of sets of grandparents. Completely not my fault that grandparents were either dead (on my side) or estranged (on ex's side).
I'm so happy to have DP, to bear some of the responsibility and know that DS wouldn't starve now! lol. Just happens to mean I get the responsibility multiplied by 5 for a lot of the time now too! I must like a challenge! 
Of course, I knew that they would be around a lot of the time but it is a VERY big difference between staying for the weekend and knowing you can go home to your peace and quiet and organised life, whereas now work is the only escape I have.
What has really upset me is that I overheard DP dismissing something arty that DS has done recently and taken pride in as a "5 min wonder" when his kids do nothing else but sit on computers all day from 6am to 10pm if allowed (quite often are) when they are with us, we buy them computer games and they just chuck them on the floor of the car within 2 hours of getting them. I dismiss that as them "just being kids" and being allowed to get away with it but why is it that DP is quick to critise DS even though he causes him less than a fourth of the hassle DSC cause us. 
Sorry, I know I'm being grumpy. Just wonder how DP would feel if his home was invaded by 4 times his family amount 3 days a week. I'm sure he would be grumpy too if he had 16 of my kids around!
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Well, I suppose you have to be positive and think that DSS could be turning up unnannounced whenever he felt like it, at least this way, you know where you stand and I would think can still live a reasonably normal life and go out if you want to when he is there - unless DH thinks differently?
We recently had an incident where DSS told us through BM that he didn't want to come to us anymore as he doesn't like being disciplined when he does something wrong.
However, BM told us he wouldn't be coming during the week (despite DP's protestations) but he would be coming at weekends.
No co-incidence that she has a new boyfriend who is at work during the week, but not every other weekend.
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