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Share your funny stories of teaching your DCs something with Hotel Transylvania 2 - £300 voucher to be won!

137 replies

MichelleMumsnet · 23/09/2015 09:48

Hotel Transylvania 2 have asked us to find out what stories Mumsnetters have about moments when teaching your DCs maybe haven’t quite worked out as planned…

In Hotel Transylvania 2, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while his mother Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. As Mumsnetters well know, teaching your children to do something isn’t always as simple as it seems….!

You can watch the trailer below.



So, have you got any funny stories of when you were trying to teach your DC something? Maybe you were trying to teach your child to read and they came out with some inappropriate interpretation of a word? Or perhaps you were teaching your child to cook when they decided that the cake batter would work better as a face mask? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear your funny stories about teaching your DCs something.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 John Lewis voucher! Runners up can also win 1 of 2 exclusive Hotel Transylvania 2 goody bags!

#HotelT2 is At Cinemas October 16 in 3D.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ
OP posts:
MissFitt68 · 23/09/2015 09:52

Trying to teach my teen to drive.... That's fun, I tell ya!!

Been interesting and it's all in the hands of a qualified instructor now

purplepandas · 23/09/2015 10:44

Trying to teach my DD3 to wipe her bottom. All good until out in public toilets and all are regaled with 'Is it a poo or a wee Mummy? Have you wiped your bottom?' 'You need to ...'. Well, I supposed it has worked as such but it comes with slight embarrassment for me and amusement for others!

Turvytopsy · 23/09/2015 18:37

Trying to teach my youngest about the value of money when he was around four.

He was suitcase mad for some reason and had his eye on a nice blue one as we were looking around a local department store. My eldest son helpfully explained that "if you save up enough, you can have the suitcase" the youngests eyes lit up with joy as he shouted "vup enough!" at the top of his lungs. (He had heard, "if you say, vup enough, you can have the suitcase")
It took us a few seconds but then we were all in hysterics with poor ds2 and the rest of the department store staring at us as if we were deranged Grin

CMOTDibbler · 23/09/2015 19:51

When ds, now 9, was learning to cycle on road and in large groups, it took a bit of a running commentary to keep everyone safe. One day we were doing a cycle event and I was coaching him up a rather unpleasant hill scattered with drain covers, a set of traffic lights and so on. So as I'm going 'just 400m to go now, watch out on your left for that drain, keep going, someone coming on your right, doing great' etc etc etc I became aware that there was someone cycling just behind me. As I looked round at them, they said 'you can't stop talking, I'm relying on you here'. So now, really self consciously I have to coach a small boy and a 50+ bloke up the hill. I gave them both a chocolate at the top Blush.

SouthWestmom · 23/09/2015 21:42

Dd spent months learning sign language at school as an optional course and was really pleased with herself. She showed us all a few words and letters at the table and then offered to teach the littlest brother (6) his name, 'like this?' he trilled and proceeded to spell out his name and hello and goodbye clearly having paid attention at his inclusive school!

CopperPan · 23/09/2015 21:48

Teaching my DCs to tidy up was always a bit of an uphill struggle. I got a basketball hoop that goes over their laundry basket to encourage them to put clothes in there, but their aim was way off and resulted in hitting toys off the shelves more than a few times!

Theimpossiblegirl · 23/09/2015 21:57

MIL regretted teaching DD to deadhead her flowers when she started removing the flowers from every plant in the garden.
:)

InAndOfMyself · 23/09/2015 22:25

My eldest son is potty trained but needs help wiping. When we were out recently and went to the public loo he yelled, 'Mum, I didn't just pee, I need you to wipe my poo!' I think everyone heard.

LookAtAllThesePhucksIGive · 24/09/2015 01:04

Teaching my dd decorum and respect. I told her it was rude to make rude comments about others appearances so she came up with ways of saying things in a different way. For instance she got around remarking that someone was fat by saying they were quite 3-D. :o

Shiraznowplease · 24/09/2015 07:48

My dh took our ds (6) to see Liverpool play at Anfield and thought then would be the ideal time to teach him about football, the rules, the off side rules and tactics used. My ds had a number of questions such as what happens if they kick the ball out of the stadium, what happens if you need a wee, why don't they pass to the goalkeeper more and is the goalkeeper bored ? My dh answered all the wuestions and felt really pleased at his father son day out. When they got home my elderly dad and his friend had popped round and my dad asked ds what he had enjoyed and what had he learned, cue ds saying Grandpa " what's a w*nker?". My dad blushed and asked why and ds said as that is what everyone was calling the referee.

I left my dh to it while I hurried to the kitchen snorting tea!

snowplop · 24/09/2015 09:46

Teaching twins to roller skate has been very challenging. In fact, balance bikes, scooters and bicycles too... you'd really think I'd have learned by now to do some things separately.

Quills · 24/09/2015 09:49

DH was teaching DD1 how to play football, starting with the basic lesson in the park of how to kick the ball. All great, they had a good time together.

They came home, and DH made the mistake of putting the ball down in the lounge whilst he popped to the bathroom. DD1 was very proud of what she had learnt, and unfortunately, she was rather too enthusiastic about demonstrating it to me! One big kick later and we were waving goodbye to the clock on the mantelpiece...

SausageSmuggler · 25/09/2015 22:15

Teaching DD aged 3 to count past 10, she spent a few weeks where she was adamant that 100 came after 11. She wouldn't accept it when we told her 12 came next and got rather huffy with us. Still, when she demanded asked us to give her 100 kisses and cuddles at night it meant we sped through it!

WarmHugs · 26/09/2015 12:44

My 4yo is just picking up phonics. He can start a word with the correct letter, but will generally make the rest of the word up.

He has just told me that he enjoyed watching Shaun the Sheep. "Shaun the sheep. S H.....I T. Shaun". Grin

CheeseEMouse · 26/09/2015 13:51

Reading to my daughter, just 2. We have been doing a lot lately to learn about food. We are reading Spot says goodnight, where in the end you lift back the curtain and see... "nana, mummy!". No, not a banana. It's the moon.

Time for some basic cosmology lessons I think (!!)

dippydeedoo · 26/09/2015 14:47

years ago teaching ds2 to blow his nose, he succesfully did it in a grand fashion and wiped his nose in my friends trailing voile curtain instead of the hanky in his hand ....ds1 had no need for nose blowing he loudly announced he licked his cos it tasted like chicken mc nuggets,
(failed mother award)

RockinHippy · 26/09/2015 21:43

Teaching a very young & eager to learn DD her vocabulary.

She wanted to know the correct name for everything, do when eating a mixed bean salad, she asked the name of every type of individual pulse & then repeated the word until she got it right...

Until she picked up a cannelloni bean...

DD - "What's iss called ??"

Me - "Cannelloni"

DD(with a very puzzled expression) - "what, doesn't it have any friends?"

Confused


Took me ages to work out what she thought I had said Grin

Kraggle · 26/09/2015 23:20

Teaching my 2 year old that when someone sneezes you say bless you.

Now when she sneezes she says "bless you, me!"

Ganne1 · 27/09/2015 18:49

Our children loved education and so weren't a great problem. However, Clare did insist. when someone asked her name, of saying "My name's called Clare." We told her she only needed one of these two options, but she persisted for years.

hiddenmichelle · 27/09/2015 18:50

bringing homework home from secondary school - no details at all - my son had just written 8 bullet points - had no idea what about!

edoody · 27/09/2015 18:52

Teaching them to use correct language not slang comes back to bite you if you slip into slang yourself and get corrected!

Fantasyland · 27/09/2015 18:58

After trying to teach my son about 'stranger danger' but obviously not got the point across well I was sat on my balcony watching my son with other kids playing on the communal gardens below.

I saw another neighbour (who was a bit odd but harmless) walk on a path behind the children.

The neighbour must have said 'hello' and then I heard my sons loud voice shouting up to me
'mum I've asked him if he kidnaps children and he said no , so I can talk to him right? '

I was so embarrassed especially as this neighbour had to walk past me on the balcony to get to his house, where I tried to explain I didn't think he kidnapped children I was just trying to teach my son about strangers.

Afterwards I had to have a long discussion with my son as he obviously thought by asking someone if they were a baddie or if they kidnapped children then they were going to say yes if they were!

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maryandbuzz1 · 27/09/2015 19:03

The one incident which comes to mind was after getting off the phone to my husbands sister announcing she had given birth, my son shouted to my husband that her baby had hatched!

shawbarbara · 27/09/2015 19:16

I seem to spent my life teaching my children how to bring clothes down for washing and how to tidy their rooms - but to no avail - always messy - always dirty clothes around!!! I dispair

ThemisA · 27/09/2015 19:19

I taught my son the importance of being honest. He used to enjoy answering the phone and knew to ask 'who's calling please?' and to either say 'Mummy can't come to the phone' or 'one moment please, I'll get her'. On one particular day a neighbour called and he duly said his 'one moment please' and then shouted to me 'Mum it's that lady you don't like on the phone'

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