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Looking for parents who still have baby in with them at 9+ months - How did your babies sleep?

27 replies

NorthernLurker · 10/02/2008 21:45

Right - dd3 is still in with us and will be for some time as we need to move to before we have a room to put her in. Up to about 14 weeks she slept like a log 8-5am sometimes later, then it allw went to pot and she started waking earlier -1am/2am - feeding and going back to sleep till 5 then feeding again. Now at 9 months plus she goes down fine (good), mostly sleeps till after 12 and if she does stir I leave her to settle herself which 9 out of 10 times she can do (good) but then somewhere between 12 and 1am usually - she wakes - 20 minutes after we have gone to bed and just as dh and I are drifting into sleep. This is not good. It is increasingly hard to settle her then back in her own cot - the only way to do it is to feed her back to sleep - if I put her down awake she kicks off. And then - this is the really rubbish bit - she wakes again at 3am or later. Even if I take her in bed with me she still wakes again. I am reluctant to go cold turkey with the night feeds as she still seems to enjoy them (huh!) and takes in a lot but I would love a straight 6 hours! What do you all think - are we doomed till we get her a room of her own?

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weeonion · 10/02/2008 21:50

NL - c is a date buddy with yr dd. she has just been moved into her own room. i realised that a combination of our creaky bed, dps snoring and my trying to read to were disturbing her. she never seemed to settle back again without feeding. she now is used to her own room. down at 7.30, dream feed at 11 and is starting to sleep through til 6 / 7am. of course now i have said this she will be up all night partying!

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NorthernLurker · 10/02/2008 21:52

Hi WO - I want a room for the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody want a nice but small house?

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Denny185 · 10/02/2008 21:56

Friend still has her DS in with them for same reasons as you, hes 19/12 now, she gave up feeding/rocking/singing back to sleep and has taken the side off the cot so he now just climbs in with them if he wakes and settles much quicker. Not sure great in the long run but working for them for now.

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weeonion · 10/02/2008 21:57

NL - sorry - my post didnt really help did it!

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NorthernLurker · 10/02/2008 21:58

no it did WO - I am clinging to the hope that when we get to move all will be well
Denny - 19/12 - noooooooooooooooooooooo!

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pukkapatch · 10/02/2008 21:59

not much help i know. but ds1 was in bed with us till he was two. he would sleep in themiddle of the bed, both arms outstretched, whilst dh and iwere both deperatly trying not to fall out of the bed either side f him. eventually one of us would get up and go sleep on the sofa.
went on for a good six months till we moved house, and went cold turkey

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used2bthin · 10/02/2008 22:03

Hi my dd is 16m and still in with me as I need to keep a close eye on her for medical reasons. She went through a phase of waking when I went to bed but mainly I think because I was putting the lamp on to read. So for a bit I read my the light of my phone(!)but we have recently moved and strangely the problem for now has stopped. I am thinking of moving out of her room but that is another thread..

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NorthernLurker · 10/02/2008 22:07

Hmmmm - thing is we creep in the room, no ligts, no talking, get ready for bed in the bathroom and kneecap dh (silently obviously) if he puts his keys etc down carelessly!

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weeonion · 10/02/2008 22:13

NL - we did try and be as quiet as the proverbial mice but i think dd "sensed" us. also - i thinkn it depended on her cycles of sleep - some nights our going to bed didnt bother her but other times - i'd look in her hammock and there'd be her big blues staring out...

her hammock is still beside my bed. its like a mini shrine to her

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used2bthin · 10/02/2008 22:14

It could be just that she is going through a phase of interupted nights though my dd had quite a while when she would keep waking and i didnt know if it was due to room sharing but she now mostly does ok. I've just been in settling her for over an hour but thats just one of those things as generally she's ok. I worry that when i move from her room she will wake more actually as i've seen her wake, look at me then go back to sleep before, as if she's checking I'm there. So hard to tell with babies I sympathise!

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ThingOne · 10/02/2008 22:22

Both my children are older than this now but both of them seemed to wake a billion times at night from about nine months. They were in the cot for the first part of the evening and then came to bed with us after they woke up which was anything from 9.30pm to 1am. Even if I went to bed early I would lie there waiting for the little buggers to wait up, lol.

I started nightweaning DS1 at 14 months (took a couple of months) but we didn't have another room to move DS2 into until he was older than this. Oh joy after the first three nights in his new room he then slept through for three nights in a row. It went pear shaped again before settling down a bit.

It will pass but it may take a while.

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TooTicky · 10/02/2008 22:26

It could be just a phase. Growth spurts and hunger can mean extra waking/feeds.
I still have ds2 (6) and dd2 (2) in with me. They sleep beautifully. So do dd1 (11) and ds1 (8) when they join us...

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NorthernLurker · 10/02/2008 22:34

wo - love the hammock shrine! Handy to have it there in case you give in to your broody urges

Thanks everyone - I'm sure it is just a phase - rather a long one at that So comforting to know we're not the only ones! Off to bed now - bit earlier than usual - will be interesting to see when she wakes

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 10:41

well she woke 25 minutes after I got into bed fed and seemed asleep but kicked off when I put her in her cot - so it was back to bed with me but for some reason she couldn't settle for long - dozed off ok but then 10-20mins later fidgeted and kicked and then squawked - I was up and down I don't know how many time trying to settle her till 4am when I bought her downstairs to the travel cot - wherein she conked out before I got back upstairs and slept till 7.30! I have to say I'm really fed up with this now!

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weeonion · 11/02/2008 11:56

NL - poor you. you must be knackered.
what does she sleep in bedside your bed - is it a regular cot? just a thought but if she seems to settle in the travel cot - is there anyy way you could ut her in it when you go to bed with a monitor going?

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 14:19

She's in her cot - which we've used since August on the other side of the room from me. I'm thinking about a bedtime transfer actually. Basically I'm obviously such a wonderful mother she can't get enough of me - right?

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puffylovett · 11/02/2008 16:07

that's what i keep telling myself too NL ! i have utmost sympathy for you because we're going through the same ourselves.

DS is 11 mths, been in with us since 6 months. has never slept through properly, but always woken for 11pm and 4am feed. however, now he's in with us, waking almost every hour for a quick suck and it's driving me potty !

was gonna post for advice about how to stop this occuring - my mum reckons bung him in his cot and let him cry, but i'm too much of a soft touch. he's cutting 2 molars so clearly needs the comfort ! she says stop making excuses !

what are you going to do ? any ideas ? i've tried shh patting, to no avail... although he does settle much easier for DH, who of course can't keep settling him cos he has to get up to go to work !

much sympathy...

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Pollyanna · 11/02/2008 16:11

my dd3 was the same - started off as a really good sleeper and deteriorated until she was waking several times a night by the age of 1.

She slept through the night the first day we moved to a new house with her own room (she was about 18mo) and has done ever since!

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Cloudhopper · 11/02/2008 16:15

we have had both dds in until after 1 yo. and in reality they never seem to have moved out properly.

But my mum held the record when my db was in a cot in their room until he was 4.

i still prefer it when they are both in our room. i feel so settled and relaxed being able to hear them breathing. when on hols etc i find it really nice.

i am also a great believer in 'be happy with what you have got'. since you have no choice but to have him in with you, you may as well enjoy it and look on the bright side.

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 16:16

B is getting teeth as well - poor little lamb.

Pollyanna - you give me hope! I think we need to reorganise the house so she can sleep in the room we currently use as a study downstairs and put computer etc in our room but dh is very resistant to that idea - we'll see how he feels after last night!

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Cloudhopper · 11/02/2008 16:18

in answer to your question about how they slept.

they didn't sleep any better or worse than when i eventually moved them out. the younger one still wakes up almost every night in her own room, and she is now 2.

i blame dh, obviously.

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 16:18

Cloudhopper - we do enjoy it when we all sleep! We just don't enjoy sharing a room/bed with a little person who is waking every 20 minutes because they're just not settled there - and who kicks!

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 16:20

lalalalalalala not listening Cloudhopper!

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Cloudhopper · 11/02/2008 16:26

god i agree northernlurker. i am totally with you on the little person kicking all night and waking up every 20 mins.

i blame dh because he is too soft. i used to quite happily lie there listening to intermittent crying. it would take a lot more to get me out of bed.

mind you, dd cries when he gets out of bed (and she is left just with me). this morning it was "where's my daddy gone?"

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 16:31

Last night I tried leaving her to cry in her cot in our room - thinking it might work a miracle? Anyway about 2 minutes in dh was grumping and saying 'this is intolerable' - Oh thanks mate - like I was really enjoying it

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