Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

(1000 Posts)
Suchanamateur Tue 11-Dec-12 14:36:13

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

lucylookout Tue 09-Apr-13 22:53:27

Let me know how you get on elphaba. DS is still cosleeping but he's not the still little bundle he was 5 months ago. He currently likes sleeping on his side with legs straight out at right angles to his body, leaving dh and I little space for ourselves (we squabble in hushed tones at night about who should move over). I'm sure DS would be 'settleable' in his cot with a bit of perseverance, but every night there comes a time when I really can't be bothered.
I don't know whether we've hit the 9 month regression yet (joy) but naps have gone to pot again - 40 mins max. Ds1 is on his Easter hols and I'm knackered and feel I have no time to do anything. Ds2 won't be put down and wants to be carried around everywhere, ds1 wants me to play Lego with him all the time. All I want is time to do chores and then sit down and have a quiet cuppa. Feel like I've become a shouty mum to him and hate it. Bit off topic, sorry, but I think I'm not coping well with both of them because apart from them both being demanding in their own ways, I'm tired and frustrated with having no time to myself day or night.
Ok, rant over. I'll go back to lurking now blush

Yeah, so we ended up co-sleeping last night blush

It got to...five?...six?...wake ups by 1:30am so I figured if I was at least horizontal for longer than an hour I might get something resembling rest.

Misery. Desperation. Demoralised. Cake. Toast.

HearMyRoar Wed 10-Apr-13 07:37:39

Ah yes elph I have had that thought on many occasions since having dd but have continued with the cosleeping for the following reasons:
1) I am too tired to go through the inevitable transition phase
2) dd wakes in the evenings before I go to bed so clearly she is not going to suddenly sleep just because I'm not there
3) i would rather sleep less deeply then have to get out of bed in our freezing flat...even once or twice
4) um...we just sold the cot...grin

Still, we do now have a mattress in dd's room that I am putting her down on for naps as some sort of first step towards moving her out of our bed. I'm not expecting this to be any time soon though <sigh>

lucylookout Wed 10-Apr-13 09:42:10

Commiserations elphaba, but at least it does convince me that I don't need to do anything too drastic just yet and that co-sleeping is still the best option...

Chicken pox. Chicken FUCKING pox.

Unbelievable.

HearMyRoar Thu 11-Apr-13 18:12:30

No way! Oh poor you. Still, at least you'll get it over with... <desperately seeking a bright side>

That's what I keep saying, Roar, but then I think about all those bitching bastard nursery fees we're paying, only for him to catch things like chicken pox or never ending gastro from THEM, then THEY won't bloody take him!! Can't they have a quarantine room for infectious, but not especially unwell, children?

It's a plot, I tell you, a plot. hmm

He slept quite well last night, though, on account of it grin

LimeFlower Thu 11-Apr-13 22:19:31

My sympathy Elphaba at least it's not measles

Ok,I'll get my coat.

Went to visit MIL yesterday,DS had a nap in the car-whole 35 minutes.Whiny like hell when we were just about to leave and fell asleep without screaming in the car seat.So far so good.Got home,had a cuppa with DH,picked up DS to give him bottle and off to bed.All the hell broke loose.He hasn't settled until 9:30 pm.
DH is always about his "poor wee boy" being forced by his wicked mother to go for a nap screaming when he goes to his cot for a nap so I told him that this is the prime example what happens when DS doesn't get his nap (DH takes over soon when I'm back to work PT,can't wait grin)
I don't understand it-he's tired,he's rubbing his eyes,he could fall asleep standing-the minute he goes to his cot I bet whole street can hear him .Why?Why?Just go to sleep you little bugger!

Tell me about co-sleeping-anything for peace and quit,I end up with DS every morning attached to my boob in my bed.Every fecking morning I wake up with cold tits boobs and all achey due to my strange position in bed-while my little darling falls asleep spread like an eagle in my fecking bed sucking my nipple every 5 minutes.
6:30 comes,DH gets up and so is my DS all chirpy and ready to start the day.
Grrrrrr.

The worst thing is,when I try to get a nap with him in the afternoon I either can't sleep because of my bloody cold feet ar some fecking cold calls!

Off to hang the washing and make grub for H for tomorrow.

Take care passes warm chocolate cake with oozing choc filling

Struggling, here. Really, really struggling. Nearly ended up sobbing with exhaustion in the toilets a few times this week at work. Returning to the familiar feeling of needing to Do Something about DS's sleep but at a complete loss as to what to do and being genuinely concerned that I'm risking a physical breakdown. Desperate and demoralised doesn't begin to describe sad

elphaba, I'm with you, and in the midst of bloody fucking d&v again too. Sleep consultant? Night nanny? I'm considering either/both.

lucylookout Thu 18-Apr-13 22:19:44

Might well be worth trying something you did before that failed. Sometimes they're not ready for it and you just have to get the timing right. Have you read the 'what worked for me' thread about gradual withdrawal? That's on the back burner for me.
I'm exhausted too BUT I made it to the pub for a whole hour with friends tonight before being called home so feel a big sense of achievement and a bit tipsy

Sorry to hear you have been having it so rough ladies sad

Stitch had 5 good days of sleep after the last run of never ending virus post 'flu thing, one night we got 7 straight hours, bliss. Came down to my mum's on holiday, went to one bloody baby singing session and now we have D&V. She is also teething, I can see 3 pre-molars, an incisor and a canine all ready to erupt, what fun!

She is 14 months now.

I'm just posting here so I don't post an arsey comment on a new 'early waking' thread that's cropped up (I notice you're there limeflower so you're exempted). Seriously...their babies sleep through from 7pm-ish until 5am (unGODly...oh...that's about the time of DS's eighth wake-up...) and they're complaining about how exhausted they are.

Really? REALLY?

<Elphaba launches into a gutteral rendition of Cry Me a River>

Fuck me, I'm losing the plot...

elphaba, give yourself a pat on the back, you've done wonderfully to not report the posters for offensive content. I'm not sure I could have restrained my arsey comments

The magic time will occur when they will sleep. won't it? . Let's hope sooner rather than later, though we've all noted our genetic link to sleeplessness. If its any consolation, two of mine sleep and its only one who doesn't, so there's hope for minielph's siblings?! Speaking of which, DT2 has slept through two nights this week. I'm trying not to get too excited. And proper sleep through's too, of the 6:30-7am bliss. If only I wasn't up at 9, 11, 1, 3 and 5 with DT1 hmm . And around 5 as we all know can be morning, though it bloody isn't! Mind you, I'd take it if it was the only sleep issue and go to bed early. Simples. Getting up lots then 5am is shite though. Incidentally DT2 still can't crawl, they're 12m now, so I can't even postulate that he's wearing himself out, while DT1 is everywhere and nearly walking.

stitch good to hear of a few improvements. D&v sucks arse. Why? Why do they get it so much? DD and DT2 have never had it, so here's my new theory- our non sleepers are ill/ run down/food intolerant/ something going on to stop them sleeping. Straws, I know, but I want something easyish to fix please.

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 15:17:20

stumbling onto thread as I'm starting to bore my postnatal thread....

<waves and slopes off as 19 wk old has just fed to sleep so gonna rest too>

will introduce self properly later !

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 15:18:27

ah I see I'm in good company as was thinking the same elph!

Howdy, Clarella.

Siblings for minielph, Dreaming?! That would require three things:
- An identifiable reproductive cycle (no periods since August '11 here thanks to pregnancy followed by boob-monster baby)
- Sleep
- Sex

None of the above are happening at the moment so he could be waiting a while yet.

At this moment in time he's bouncing around his cot like a hyperactive ferret and beaming hopefully at me when he pulls himself up to standing using the cot bars. And now he's discovered the baby monitor.

Losing. The. Will.

HearMyRoar Mon 22-Apr-13 19:18:22

Hello all! Haven't been on for a while, not because dd has suddenly started sleeping unfortunately but because I'm now working full-time at work (week, full-time hours but compressed over 4 days so I still get a day with dd) and what with the no sleep thing I've been knackered. Last night was the worst night I've had in a while. Dd decided that she just would not lie down. She would sleep sitting up in my arms but any move to a more horizontal position resulted in immediate waking and screaming. I finally managed to get to sleep between 3-5am in a sort of half lying down slump. Urgh! Thankfully I had today off work so stayed in bed all morning while dd was in nursery.

elph I try and avoid other sleep threads as they invariably make me furious. People just can't seem to get their heads around the fact that sometimes babies just don't sleep. They're bloody famous for it in fact. [Hmm]

Sorry about the d&v dreaming hope it gets better soon. Dd seems to be in a constant cycle of belly problems for months now. Ho hum. It never ends!

Welcome to the club clarella <offers round stiff drinks and chocolate cake> grin

Well I have just had a fun day in A&E with Stitch trying to get fluids into her after 5 days of D&V. Back home now so hoping she can keep it up or she will be admitted sad

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 20:13:04

ok so as lo is on boob I'll introduce myself. G is 19 weeks today born by c section 2 weeks late. he was very low weight but packed it on quickly grin . I'm ebf. had loads of issues which I initially blamed on me which really affected his sleep from around 5 weeks. before that wed had the occasional 4 and 5 hours stretch and like a fool I'd panicked - as he was low birth weight I carried on waking him for feeds. then at 6 weeks we started having loads of issues - me over supply, him green poos from hell and an inability to sleep due to wind. (lactose overload) tbh he valiantly tried back then. he had to be upright. I was having breast refusals too as he constantly choked and screamed. I now know a lot of it was tongue tie angry .

I block fed and used colief which henlped at first when poos were green then caused more issues as it gave him the runs and tummy cramps. we had an amazing week at the start of march where he woke once in the night and did 5 hour stretches. I'd found I could feed him lying down so he was finally getting lots and poos were great and in the middle of the day. then it began to go down hill again as he got refluxy. so lots of sleeping on us upright. gp did urine test and reckoned there was a uti (not convinced I did test right) but the gavisgon helped the most, and then through lll I found he had tongue tie. (which caused all the wind and reflux) we had it snipped at 14 weeks as he started amoxycillin. both meant that he suddenly fed for England through the night. plus he became incredibly distractible in the day! then his system was fucked, wind etc,thrush and the prophylactic antibiotic has given him cramps. so basically it might be 4 mo sleep regression but he's the windiest baby this side of hurricane alley and gets so cross about his own bowels. luckily he tends to go back to sleep pretty quickly with help (boob or bobs) but this week is very fussy settling. naps are rubbish too. but basically half an hour of winding since he was tiny after every feed has created issues till the tt snip and he got a bit bigger. ( and I was taught an upside down method!)

I've found he is loads better on my dream genie with a sheet stretched over it on the bedside cot or on his side (due to all the feeding to sleep) he's actually not that arsed about co sleeping, he just wants to be comfy. and the firm mattress on his back ain't comfy. but dh is so worried about fucking sids guidelines.

I've just got him to sleep twice by just lying next to him with him on his side in seconds which dh witnessed and has agreed to letting him stay on his side in the cot. a sausage positioner is stopping any further rolling...... argh!

I'm off to catch some sleep.grin

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 20:16:39

<guzzles gin and chocolate>

grin

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 20:17:17

I dread him being mobile confused

How, HOW do you get them to lie down in their cots, to get anywhere near achieving this self-settling malarky? Here its either howl til you're sick, or stand and rattle cot bars and scream til you're sick or picked up, whichever comes first. And is self-settling the holy grail?! It'd make bedtime much less stressful anyway...

So, last night, out of the blue, having always been a 9, 11, 1, 3, 5 kind of boy, DT1 woke twice only. Sadly, I am having blocked duct agony again, too much milk I think (Dt1 has 3-4 night feeds, DT2 often 1 sometimes 2, between them I do 2-5 day feeds so I still have SO much milk). So I was up way more than him, nursing my poor boobs and expressing for pain relief. Gutted.

Anyway, really hoping little stitch is doing better and drinking lots at home. Poor, poor baby.

elph, I have had a grand total of 2 periods since November 2009. (I got pg with DD in the December, ebf her, got pg while bf after 2 periods and none since- due to the ridiculous number of night feeds ehre I reckon). Yet sometimes I still think 'ooh, wouldn't it be lovely to have another' . I must be certifiable hmm

Hello roar, wondered where you were. Shame its not because your DD is sleeping. Sounds terrible.

welcome clarella, I hope your stay here is brief. Sounds hard. I had huge wind/reflux /screaming issues with my twins for the first 6 months. Now one is dairy free, one is on ranitidine, and things are improving though they are 12 months

Clarella Mon 22-Apr-13 22:16:02

oh dreaming. I rue ever hearing the words 'self settle'. and they're usually followed by strong language straight after

Is baby Stitch still BFing? I had a trip to A&E with DS and his last round of D&V because he hadn't had a wet nappy in over 12 hours. Boob, boob and more boob was the solution, even if you know she's going to yack it up straight after as babies absorb fluids much more quickly than adults, especially BM as it's full of electrolytes and other magical properties.

Our trip to A&E also involved an amusing interaction with a rather obtuse nurse. DS's blood sugars were low, and because of his non-weeing, she presented us with a bottle of baby juice. DS is bottle refuser extraordinaire so I said, 'Well, I guess we could try him with that as he might be interested in something sweet from a bottle, but he'll never entertain the idea of bottles normally.' Cue blank look from nurse. 'How on earth do you feed him, then?' asks she. hmmshock True to form, he threw the bottle off the bed and the nurse got to witness the ancient art of breast feeding, which prompted her to hurriedly draw the curtains around us. Bless her.

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