Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

(1000 Posts)
Suchanamateur Tue 11-Dec-12 14:36:13

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

joanna1985 Tue 12-Mar-13 09:47:48

Thanks hmr. Last night he woke at 12 then 4 and wouldnt go back down. Hes just all up the eft, maybe its his teeth. mum keeps saying i shouldnt be feeding him during the night at this stage and he should be getting enough, i feel like punching her im nit ginna let him scream all night! ive tried him with water and he was having none of it. Best about it is when he has stayed in my mums he sleeps all night! Dunno what im doing different.

Ah, Joanna I think all mums say the same, mine is frankly horrified I'm feeding my 11 month olds at night... But we tried the pick up put down thing, I was doing it for 2 hours 10 minutes til I got twin 1 to sleep, he still woke 50 min later, by night 6 he'd broken us and we gave in. Back to 3-4 night feeds and putting up with 2 hourly waking.

He's ill again now, running a temperature of 39.8!!!!! No sleep here. Thank goodness twin 2 only woke once last night, though he did do a poo to wind me up, I'm sure. So 4:30 nappy, then back to DT1. Groan. At least DT2 had his nappy, some milk and went back to sleep.

In other news, DD is in a bed now! We are on night 4 tonight, no issues so far. She doesn't know how to get out yet though...

My mum told me I'm indulging DS by letting him carry on waking so much in the night hmm Not that she has any suggestions which are actually helpful - just regular instructions that I 'have to do something'. Since we've done everything, including controlled crying to try and sort it (similar to your PUPD experience Dreaming - 1.5-2 hours of hell followed by no more than an hour of sleep which never got any better after a week) I'm at a loss as to how I'm indulging him and what the 'something' is I'm not doing.

joanna1985 Tue 12-Mar-13 20:55:40

Oh my god 2 1/2 hours.. when do you sleep? Are you not like a zombie? i think ive aged about 10 years in the last few months and im meant to be going to work in a few weeks..

HearMyRoar Wed 13-Mar-13 11:16:19

jo early wakings are a killer. dd has done phases of 4am waking but i have found as long as i try to keep things quiet she seems to get over it after a bit and go back a slightly more sensible time. If this doesn't happen there are some early waking threads about so if you hunt them down they may have some more specific tips for you.

My dd is currently waking 3-4 times a night and this is really, really good for her. Previously it was every 1-2 hours a lot of the time. We co-sleep which helps (I don't think I would have managed otherwise) and to be honest I just get on with it. Once i stopped stressing about it and excepted it was just how she is and didn't make me a faliure as a parent I found it much easier to cope with. I also always have at least 1 lie in on a weekend and dp does all night nappies and gets up with her on a really bad night to give me a break.

I know this sounds unlikely but I went back to work when dd was 4.5 months and found it actually helped. It can be stressful but it's a differant sort of stress to looking after a baby so sort of feels like a break in a way. I get to have the occasonal coffee in peace, talk to real grown-up people, and nobody screams at me when I go to the loo. grin

Aaaaand...he's vomiting!

<Elphaba strips naked, declares herself to be the Second Coming in the middle of the nearest intersection, and is joyfully carted off to the nearest asylum>

Joanna - I'm working full time and managing wake ups every 1.5-2 hours by myself (DH is more than willing to help but DS won't settle for him - quite the opposite) and it's actually easier working on shit sleep than it is looking after a baby. More mental stimulation, perhaps? Less time to dwell on, and be fixated by, how little sleep you've had maybe? Either way, it's not as bad as you might think. It's far from ideal, but definitely doable.

DogandBeth Wed 13-Mar-13 20:37:40

Hi all, just checking in to see how everyone's doing. We're now sickness free hooray but still having lots of wake ups. Dh is currently having to deal with them as have decided to go cold turkey with dd and night feeds(bf) so have retreated to the spare room, and dh is sleeping in with her. I still wake up when she does as she's not too happy about it but she's definitely starting to get used to it and she's always fine in the morning so clearly doesn't need it. Starting to feel a little more human again, although don't want to get my hopes up too much as yet
Here's hoping for a good night for all x

joanna1985 Wed 13-Mar-13 21:34:37

Yeah im kind of looking forward to work a wee bit and it also means me and the bf will be splitting the night feeds 50/50 instead of me resenting him getting a good sleep and having a life outside the house smile glad i had a look on this, thought i was the only mummy who was stil gettin up with a 6 month old, all the mums on my fb are so smug smile

<passes Elphaba the vodka and joins her wearing a placard and ringing a bell whilst shouting loudly that the end is nigh>

Hello everyone, some good nights (1-6am sleep) and some bad (up every 2 hours, bounce about wide awake between 3-4am) here.

Following last night's fart-a-thon Stitch is now trying to top that by farting about instead hmm. Fell asleep on boob as per usual and woke up again. She is now watching a dvd and I am watching the clock. I just want an hour off duty before I fall asleep to watch a film, mnet or wash my hair. Is that too much to ask?!! confused

Glad to hear you have a strategy Dog, we did that with dd1, she was a bit older, but after a few nights she stopped waking altogether. Hope you have some good ear plugs.

Dreaming and Elphaba hope your respective offspring feel better soon so that your sleep can return to terrible (or better, here's hoping) from catastrophic.

Hear I kind of miss working, I had more time for me.

Hi Joanna, I second the advice not to listen to what others say about their baby's sleep.

I haven't managed to get DT1 in his cot for 3 nights now. He's still ill. My sympathy is wearing thin. Still on catastrophic for him, but good for DT2. One wake up the last two nights!! We had big issues recently as I moaned about mentioned on here, but strict dairy free has sorted it, I think, as he is neither ill nor produced his first tooth, so still linking disturbed nights and miserable days for him with dairy. I'd got blase and ate a few yoghurts and lots of normal chocolate (thank goodness for dark chocolate!), he was pulling off the boob howling again, but fine now. Very annoying, I'm crap at this dairy free rubbish...

Guilty bad mummy here. Shouted at dh and told him to eff off, and DT2 for screaming every time i put him down. Stupid ridiculous behaviour from me. Not looking forward to a long rainy afternoon with them all while dh goes to the dentist and does errands...

elphaba just repeat through gritted teeth "he'll have an immune system of steel" while rocking gently. Oh wait, that's what got me commited too...

Maybe I need to stop the night feeds. DT1 is titchy compared to DT2 now though, from being a lb and a half heavier. Makes me more reluctant, but it probably does need doing. Maybe I'll wait til after I next have him weighed to see if he's dropped further weight wise... Not that he's not growing, he is, just not as fast iykwim... <stalling>

Urgh. Why does this sleep thing have to be so damn difficult?!?!

HearMyRoar Thu 14-Mar-13 16:45:13

dreaming dd is also dairy free and one of the things that stops me night weaning is the worry she won't get enough calcium and stuff if I stop the milk at night and am at work all day so not feeding much then either (I stopped expressing so she's not having any milk at all when I'm at work). Do you think I'm being overly paranoid about it?

In theory, they only need one morning and one evening feed from 9 months, but that's been my excuse for not night weaning either - he won't take expressed milk during the day. Technically, we could both night wean now, hear, without doing any damage to the DCs, but it would probably do considerable damage to our eardrums confused

HearMyRoar Thu 14-Mar-13 20:44:56

Hahahahaaaa <that was the sound of my hysterical laughter, in case you were wondering>

I can't see dd being overly impressed if I were to inform her she only needs 2 feeds a day. She has had 4 already today and I expect at least another 2-3 over night.

I was still feeding dd1 morning and evening at 18 months!

Stitch fed umpteen times in the night and has fed twice today already, she still eats three meals plus snacks.

Twas a very bad night last night. I have a flu-like virus, aching all over, splitting headache and vomiting. Stitch went to bed then woke up again and didn't go back to sleep until midnight. Transfer failed multiple times so she ended up starfishing in our bed most of the night. Waking two hourly. Then dd1 had a nightmare and I was in with her at 5am whilst dh kept Stitch quiet.

Luckily my mum is driving up to help, because I might keel over soon.

Oh, Christ, Stitch. That sounds like my worst nightmare. Hope your mum helps you sort things.

Well, after doing his best impression of the kid from The Exorcist yesterday, DS had two naps of almost two hours each shock then slept 7pm til 3am shockshockHe was awake for over an hour then, mind, but this face does not look bovvered, I assure you, after all that lovely sleeeeep! grin

It ain't gonna last, and I'm quite confident normal service will resume tonight, but to every vomity, shit-soaked cloud there's a silver lining.

Fishandjam Sat 16-Mar-13 04:57:02

Hello lovely lunaticmums.

Why is there nothing decent on TV at this time of day?? Baby Fish is awake and refusing to settle again - perfectly happy, but wide awake (and LOUD). We have visitors so she's back sleeping in our room, and her crowing has woken DS so I've had to bring her downstairs in the interests of family harmony... She keeps teasing us by sleeping 11-6 once a week or so, and then waking anything from once to 8 times the rest of the week. <sigh>

stitch, that sounds crap with knobs on. Hope you feel better soon and your mum helps.

elph, are you spew-free yet? If it ain't one thing it's another! One morning and one evening feed, you say? I shall tell DD. <staggers off to find needle and thread to stitch sides back up>

dreaming, the dairy free thing sounds v tiresome, but good news that it seems to be having a beneficial effect.

<waves blearily to dog and Joanna>

Still spewing and pooing for Britain here confused And back to status quo with sleeping hmm

I took him to the GP yesterday afternoon because I was being PFB because I wanted to check he wasn't getting dehydrated. Since his fontanelle wasn't sunken, oral mucosa were fine and he was commenting loudly on every passerby (I can only assume that 'Gah, gah, GAH!' is babyspeak for 'What are you WEARING?!') GP wasn't at all concerned. Bring him back in a week if symptoms persist, blah, blah, blah.

Don't quite know what we do if he's still going on Monday. I think his squits are now largely down to being back to virtually EBF as about the only solids he'll take in and keep down is the odd spoon of Ready Brek or fruit. Don't know if nursery will see it that way though, and I already had to take Thursday and Friday off. Thank god I've got sympathetic workmates!

Well flu continues, I am so exhausted that I can't even pick up Stitch for long. Have spent most of the day on the sofa or in bed wrapped up with 3 hot water bottles. The kids are a bit snuffly and chesty,but mostly ok thank goodness. Don't know what I would have done without my mum, DH would have had to take leave because I am in no fit state to be left in charge.

HearMyRoar Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:55

Oh gosh guys! Hope you and you little ones feel better soon.

Dd has been having a small but noticeable improvement over the past couple of weeks. You can tell her sleep is better as this is the first weekend me and dp have spent doing things together rather then just napping in shifts in an effort to catch up on sleep. We seem to be getting a decent 4.5 hour block a night, I know many would still consider her 3-4 wake ups as terrible but compared to the minimum of 6 we were getting it feels pretty darn amazing.

Of course on the down side we have teething so am back to high levels of drugging throughout the night. She has taken to waking up at 5.30am and also has started having 2 naps in the day again and then not going to sleep until 8:30pm. I think it's the walking that's getting her all in a tiz as she gets to bedtime and just wants to keep standing up even if she is clearly super tired. Ho hum...

Hear - did I read upthread your DD is dairy-free? If so, do you know - is oat milk OK for babies under 1? DS has proper gastroenteritis (we had a jaunt to A&E at 6am this morning after a hideous night of pooing and no wees for over 12 hours) and apparently it makes them lactose intolerant for a bit, perpetuating the poonamis.

Fuck, I'm tired.

HearMyRoar Mon 18-Mar-13 18:58:16

I think oat milk isn't recommended but we use a coconut based milk called koko (previously kara but they just changed the name). They sell it in Saintsbury's so probably have it in the other supermarkets as well.

elph, yes, I give DT2 oat milk, or soya, he tolerates that fine. I much prefer oat, don't think he minds, though he adores fish mashed into soya white sauce (olive oil, flour, soya milk) which is beyond vile. He's a fussy eater, so I don't get it!?!?
Your poor ds. Watch out too, dairy is in everything, some breakfast cereal, malt loaf, loads of unexpected things. My DT2 can tolerate small amounts.
I really hope he's better soon, how traumatic. Poor little tike.

hear I don't worry about calcium as I'm too busy and mealtimes are too hectic anyway . Green leafy veg, kale and broccoli are fantastic sources of calcium my dc eat literally none of anything like that , I give multi vitamins when i remember and there's a 1+ soya milk with added calcium I buy sometimes.

Sleep is shite here. I know its not me as,my control study (DT2) is self settling, waking once, having a bf and going back to sleep in his cot til morning. Therefore I know it is all the baby... But oh, how I'm longing for some sleep. Saw every hour of last night. DD ill, DT1 up 8:30, 10:30, 1,2 4 and 5:20 for the day. DT2 had his one waking at 3am. Fucking awful. 11 months 3 weeks.

Dreaming, next time there's a thread where all the smugettes turn up saying that good sleepers have very little to do with luck and everything to do with their marvellous parenting skills, I shall invite you to present the results of your controlled study. I went ballistic on one fairly recently. Bit of a ranty pants I was blush

And another 'bang goes the theory' that is newly winding me up - 'put your baby down sleepy but awake'. Cracked it. Thought it was the holy-fucking-grail. He does it consistently now - goes in the cot textbook 'sleepy but awake' then falls asleep. Does he stay asleep because 'the way they fall asleep determines how they'll go back to sleep the rest of the night'? Does he heck. Awake 40 minutes later, then every two hours thereafter. Every. Night. Except for the odd night where he taunts me, TAUNTS ME, with the promise of more sleep.

<Elphaba meanders off, wild-eyed, muttering to herself and waving her arms at random, in search of her waders>

I know, DT1 doesn't any more, can't and won't ever self settle but from 4 months ish to 8 months maybe he went into his cot wide awake and held his comforter and went to sleep. Better than either of the others!! No chance now. And yes, it made F all difference to his wakings. For DT2, for naps or nighttime then routine goes take baby into room. Give baby jellycat bunny. Put white noise on. Kiss baby and leave room. In the night, he wakes crying. Pick baby up, stick him on the boob. Put baby down with bunny but usually forgetting white noise cd. Fetch awake but happy baby around 7 am, sometimes 7:30.

DT1 is more like feed til very sleepy, then cuddle into near submission, lower very carefully into cot and vigorously shake/jiggle his bottom to give a good whole body vibration til he's asleep. Repeat jiggling when he sealed an hour or so later. Re-feed between 9&10 pm. Try any and all of the above at every other night waking. Bring him into bed between 2&4 am.

Oh, and DD, also ebf,slept through from 11 weeks old. I'm not joking. Does this make me a bloody marvellous parent then wink *

*until we had major issues from 13-19 months with her regularly being up from midnight til 5am before going back to sleep and taking hours every evening to get to sleep. Unsettled by my pregnancy. Settled within two days of me being home with the boys to sleeping through regularly ish again.

Invite me elph, I'll tell all the "but you can't compare dc1 and dc2 sleep as the conditions weren't exactly te sane

Oops
Exactly the same" and tell them where to shove it!!!!!

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