Can you tell me what the score is with posting a thread and saying you're only wanting it up for a while then you're going to get it deleted?

[mathsgsceresit]

Just I was posting on a thread which has now been deleted or hidden until the MN team can take a look at it.

I have no issue with the OP of the thread (just to make that clear!) but they said from the get go that they were going to put the thread up just for a short time and then get it deleted.

I didn't think that was really how it was supposed to work?

Is it possible to get some clarification on this?

Thanks.

[TrixieLunamoon]

Isn't that what the 30 days only topic is for?

[mathsgsceresit]

Well, the thread I@m referring to was up for only a few hours was the intention.

I've been on a few threads which the OP has stated will be deleted and it is annoying when you've bothered to reply. I did look up the talk guidelines, which say they won't delete whole threads, but it seems that it may not be what's said in the guidelines, but that's actually what is happening in practice?

[MrsHathaway]

I know the thread you mean and it annoyed me.

Once you post, it's entirely up to MN whether it stands or not - it's not your FB page. If you're worried about other people's seeing it, post in OTBT or 30 Days. Or, hey, don't put it on a public forum in an identifiable form.

I had a malicious moment thinking "actually this discussion is jolly interesting and could apply to multiple situations - I hope MNHQ refuses to delete". More charitably it could be redacted - that's certainly happened before.

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

What difference does it make to you?

The OP wanted some opinions on a family situation and she didn't want the thread to stay there in case other family members saw it. I don't see the problem, it was very clear in her OP. If you can't accept that, don't post on it?!

As for others getting pulled when the thread doesn't go their way, yeah, it's a bit annoying sometimes if you are in the middle of a discussion/debate... but really, 'so what'?

Why do you feel your posts are so important they have to stay there forever more?

Why shouldn't MN pull threads if the OP has asked them to? It's their website.

[mathsgsceresit]

MrsHathaway - the thing is, the thread was useful and it made me realise that I hadn't worked out in my head as much as I needed to what I'd do in a similar situation, but it was the statement at the beginning of "I'll put this up for a few hours and then get it deleted" that I am querying.

I don't think that is really how it's supposed to work - and if the practicality is that a thread is deleted when the OP asks then that should be stated in the guidelines is really all I am saying.

[mathsgsceresit]

Latte - in the guidelines it says that a thread won't be deleted at the OP's request. That's my query. Because it seems to me that threads are deleted at the OP's request and I'd like that clarified. Because if that is the case, then there's a thread I'd love to start if I could be sure that HQ would pull it if I asked them to.

[walkonthewildside]

MNHQ have never deleted threads at the OPS request unless there were real privacy issues.

Maybe they have changed their deletion policy now and you only have to ask and they delete your thread?

[OwlCapone]

MNHQ have never deleted threads at the OPS request unless there were real privacy issues.

I think "privacy issues" is pretty vague and easy to claim as being the problem with a thread though.

I think people should have the sense to think about whether it's a good idea to post on a public forum before starting a thread. I agree that starting a thread with the intention of getting it deleted is not on really.

[BertieBotts]

It sounds like it came under privacy issues. It's always been the case that if you say "I'm worried someone in RL will see this (especially "someone specific in RL")" the thread gets deleted with no questions asked. It's just ones which don't go as the OP hoped or which turn bunfighty which don't get deleted just because. Which I think is a good policy. I've been on forums where someone posted, got given good advice and then deleted their thread because they'd solved the problem (instead of leaving it for others to see!) or deleted it in a hissy fit because they got a "dislike" or downvote.

[OwlCapone]

IMO, if you say "I'm worried someone in RL will see this" you should probably have realised that before starting the thread.

[BertieBotts]

When I have posted about very identifying situations I have always namechanged.

[walkonthewildside]

I agree with that, Owl.

[mathsgsceresit]

I agree Owl. And Bertie, yes I do that too.

I'd just like the policy clarified.

[Kimaroo]

Maybe we should have a 12 hours only topic! I didn't see the problem with that thread even if the members of the family saw it. The op was venting but apparently saying the same as what she had said to her family anyway!

[mathsgsceresit]

Really far too many Clarifieds in my posts

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

I've been on a few threads which the OP has stated will be deleted and it is annoying when you've bothered to reply

So, why then, do you want to do the same thing?

[mathsgsceresit]

I do if there is a clear set of guidelines Latte. It's one thing to post on a thread thinking it'll stay, and a different thing altogether to post on one knowing it's going to be deleted.

I just think there's a disparity between what actually happens and the guidelines, possibly, a bit, and I'd like to know what the official stance is.

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

I think it's preferable to know that MN will delete a thread if you ask them to.

This website is supposed to be 'By parents, for parents' for support & advice etc

It's prime objective isn't 'for the titillation of others' or a 'soap box'.

I don't see anything wrong in what the OP of that thread did or said. I think it's a good option to have. She should & would have been able to get a general feeling of if SWBU or not in a few hours with little risk of her family & friends reading it.

Sometimes you can change enough details to make it alright to put it under another name and not worry, but other times it's going to be very clear to anyone knowing you that it's you posting and it could cause a lot of upset.

[mathsgsceresit]

Latte - I don't have an issue with that at all, but then I think the guidelines need to change, because that's not what they say.

"Deleting a thread you have started
We don't generally delete whole threads; it's frustrating for those who've taken the time to write responses to see them removed. That said, we're here to make people's lives easier, so if you have a pressing reason for wanting a thread you started to be deleted, please report it to us and we'll take a look."

I just don't think the guidelines reflect what is actually happening on the site is all.

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

I think the official stance is something like -

'We aren't going to delete a thread every time a poster gets the hump because the thread didn't go their way, but at the same time if it's genuine and you want it gone, we will do it for you, but don't make a habit of it.'

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

I think it's exactly what's happening actually.

[mathsgsceresit]

Well that's not what the guidelines say and I do think it's off to post a thread and say "I'm posting this here for a few hours and then going to get it deleted" - because that seems to go against guidelines and seems to be confident that as soon as they say they want it gone it will be (which isn't what the guidelines say)

[NickiFury]

I agree with Latte. Why on earth should a thread that could be potentially damaging to the OP's life hang around just because you took five minutes out of your day to post on it? How incredibly self centred. This is supposed to be a supportive space and on occasion this may happen. As for the "well they should have thought of that before they posted" What if they're desperate for input and have no one in RL to talk it over with? Should they just stay away and not seek help so you won't lose out on your exciting update?

This "we wasted our time posting" thing really makes me as well. You're messing around in an Internet forum, if you weren't posting on that thread, you'd be on another, why is YOUR time more important than an OP's well being?

[mathsgsceresit]

Why put it on a public forum if it's going to be that damaging to you if the wrong person sees it?