What small and maybe stupid thing do you wish you had taken but didn't after divorce?

[iamfabregasted]

For me, its my Unk's hammer.

Leading in from a comment I made on another thread, my Unk was my great-uncle, I couldn't say it when I was wee so he was my Unk.

He died in 1987 and I miss him every single day.

And that fecking bastard up the road has the fecking hammer that my Unk gave to me when I was a wee girl and that we used to make wooden boats and stuff with.

And I want it back. But I know it will seem petty if I go and say "XH I want my Unks hammer"

So, what other small, but very personal thing, do you wish you had taken post spearation/divorce?

[potplant]

Not quite the same thing but when my friend split up with her nobber bf she insisted on taking the dishwasher with her, even though she had nowhere to put it. It sat on her path for 6 months and then she called the council to take it away. She also took all the teaspoons, to piss him off when he wants a cup of tea and the masher, to piss him off when he wants mashed potato .

She laughs about it now but at the time she was deadly serious.

Ask for it back, it doesn't sound that petty.

[lazarusb]

My leather jacket. I loved it. But I did leave him a dead fish down the back of the sofa so I think we're quits really

[HerBeatitude]

My copy of Revolution in Judea, signed by Hyan Maccoby.

Am so pissed off I haven't got it anymore...

[HerBeatitude]

Hyam, even

[MuthaHubbard]

the bbq, especially in this weather. in fact i doubt he still has it

[PortiaNovmerriment]

My daughter. Oh, hang on, I did take her

One ex took exactly half my cutlery. He didn't have any when he moved in with me.

[iamfabregasted]

My XH counted the spoons and knives and forks as well and gave me half.

And half of the good dinner service - but I told him he could keep the Denby. If I never see Denby Regency Green again it will be too soon lol

[mtor]

I'm in agreement with potplant. Emotional attachments like that aren't petty. Ask for it back.

[IsGraceAvailable]

By the time we actually split, I was so grateful that I let him have everything he felt 'entitled' to (ie, everything of value). What I regret, though, is letting him "borrow" my DIY tools over the ensuing couple of years. I've hardly any left now - and I need them!

[iamfabregasted]

Think I will ask him for the hammer back, petty thopugh it seems - it was my mum's before it was mine and I'd like to give it to my DD2 who loves to make things to use.

And its such a lovely wee tiny hammer, just right for wee girl hands

God I sound totally deranged now lol

[partytime]

Gosh do people really split cutlery sets???

This is quite scary, surely there are more important things to worry about, you can get a cheap set in Tesco for a few quid.

I haven't even thought what we will split or keep .

H left almost 9 months ago and I am still in FH with all our stuff, accumulated over 26 years together.

I guess he has managed so far without some of 'our' stuff and I can't imagine OW would want any of my things. I know if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't want furniture, household items etc, chosen by someone else.

Or am I being naive?

[PortiaNovmerriment]

Sane people don't. Twatty exes tend to. He even took the spices he fancied out of the spice rack- some of them I'd had from my previous marriage...good luck cooking with eight year old star anise, mate

[iamfabregasted]

No not naive - I moved out so I only wanted what stuff I needed to get me started.

He stood with a blue clipboard and made me show him every item that I wanted to take, and if he "approved" then he wrote it down on the list.

He insisted I took half of the cutlery - and he counted it. I took it, but went and bought stuff from Tescos and use it now anyway. Do not want to ever see Kings pattern again.

He did not let me take the electric carving knife which he had bought me the year before as a christmas present.

He did let me take the Kenwood Chef (I bake, he never has)but then asked for it back 3 days later because his grandmother gave it to us as a wedding present. 19 and a half years before FFS. Am I being cynical to be a tad because I know his mother's kenwood was broken??

[FortunateHamster]

knockraven - go for it with the hammer! Don't think it's petty at all. Best of luck.

[lunavix]

Prior to seperation, I had accumulated at some expense the mamas and papas rose bebe or something like that range for dd's room, to be decorated. When sorting belongings to move out, I noticed a few bits of dds missing - ex had hidden some of her baby bits as apparently he thought I'd never give him any??? (didn't bother taking any of ds's, and hadn't even discussed it) - and the baby bits in question were - three of the heart wall items, one out of three matching boxes, one fitted sheet and one pillow case, and something else. The entire rest of the range I then had! I told him it was ridiculous, it was discontinued and hard to come by so to hide half of it was just daft - especially when it was clearly not for 'sentimental attachment' as he claimed - they weren't her baby bits, she'd never even laid eyes on them!

Regardless, he refused. No idea what he did with them, but I sold the rest at a bit of a profit on ebay. Tosser.

He did also argue over whose cds were whose - regardless of the fact 7 years in Australia meant my cds included many 'made in australia' ones that he still argued were his!

[lunavix]

knockraven - did you give him the kenwood chef back? If I had one, exh would have had to kill me first!

[iamfabregasted]

Luna- I did but it was 20 years old and it bounced across the worktop if you didn't hold it down.

Hoping to persuade myself that I need a KitchenAid, I really really do....

[BigBadMummy]

Split with my ex was great. I got the inside of the house, he got the outside.

Not when I split from an ex but when I walked out of my nannying job (long story, horrid family) the bitch woman I worked for was doing a dinner party for 10, using my Delia Smith book. SO having loaded my car with all my stuff, kissed the DCs, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the book and swanned out.

God that felt good.

Asking for your hammer back is not petty. And he should not query it at all.

[DuelingFanjo]

I'd like my Mandolin back!

[QueenofWhatever]

Cutlery is power!

I had agreement in writing that I was 'allowed' to take the duvet (that I had bought). However, he then got very annoyed when I took the duvet cover (which I had also paid for).

I regret not taking more photos. My ex was a photographer and lots were in his office. I have baby/toddler pictures of DD but I don't have a single picture of me in all the years we were together. I'm OK not having any photos of him funnily enough.

I regret not taking some of the food things that you can only get in the U.S. Is he really ever going to use my liquid smoke?

[slhilly]

If you feel uneasy cos you think it's petty, why not either offer to/actually give him back something similarly small that he will value and you can do without, or offer to/actually buy a cheap hammer as a replacement? That way you make clear that it's the sentimental value that you are seeking

[Eowyn]

I just retrieved my grandad's garden shears from X's house, don't need them but only thing I have from grandad.

X has stayed in house so every time I go there I see everything that I either bought or arranged, it's really annoying but if I strip it bare he'll be even more miserable...

[BudaisintheZONE]

Some of these are funny and some are just sad.

Not a divorce split but DH's mum died when he was 11 and then there was only him and his Dad. When DH went to uni his Dad went overseas to work and all their household goods went into storage. Then DH moved to work in London and eventually bought a flat and his dad remarried and moved back to UK. So DH and his Dad split all the household stuff. We have the cups and saucers and some sideplate of an old and quite pretty dinner set. His Dad and step-mum got the dinner plates, bowls and rest of side plates! They did that with a few things. Even MIL says she couldn't believe how and why they did it that way.

We still have a lot of the stuff from his mum and dad - still use her Hamlyn cookbook from early 60s.

[Tanga]

The video camera - this was 8 years ago so it was a real old-fashioned one with the tapes that went inside? For some utterly mad reason I put the tapes with it - all of DD when she was little, on days out etc. Never saw them again and he now denies that I gave them to him.

[juicychops]

wasn't married to my ex by engaged and living together. he left me for another woman and moved out - well, i had to physically move him out as he was using the house as a drop in centre when he wasn't with his new woman and it was taking the piss.

i packed up all his stuf as he was never here. i took ages seperating all the cds and dvds fairly making sure his were his and dmine were mine. i ended up giving him all his good ones

why the hell i din't just chuck all the shit ones in a box and keep all the good dvds and cds for myself is beyond me. i have always (in a sad way) regretted it. every now and then someone asks have you seen ....? i say 'oh, i USED to have that'.