Some of you may remember me as AboardtheAxiom, those of you who don't last year I left my emotional abuse ex of 9 years and am now living in a nice happy home with my DS.
There is a man in my life (who I love dearly), had always been platonic but feelings developed and I realised I felt very strongly about him but didn't dare raise the issue as I was terrified of losing him. He is the one person in my life whom I can completely depend on and trust.
Anyway, a line was crossed a fortnight ago, he sent me a suggestive message in response to an innocent one from me and things progressed from there.
I adore him, and we are having a fabulous cheeky time and I have this stupid grin most of the time. But... I am scared of falling out with him, or losing him, or things going wrong. Sometimes I feel absolutely terrified about it. As things stand I am happy as we are, but I don't know how long for, what if at some stage I want more, something more serious and he doesn't?
I know not everyone believes in a soul mate but I do feel this man is mine, and if I hadn't had that cheeky text from him I may well have never told him how I feel as he is my rock and I wouldn't have dared risk losing him. He is the guy who I can call when I am not sleeping or am crying about DS's autism, or who will come and move my bins at some ungodly hour on his way to work
Also. oh my god. I have to say, I can nowunderstand couples who are so loved up and adoring and worshipping of each other, I feel my relationship with abusive ex was simply a sham, we never had such intimacy, such a connection or happiness with each other. After years of being friends with NewMan we have crossed a line into new territory, and feels right. Natural. Lovely.
I am scared of losing it all. Gulp.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Started something and feel happy but scared too. Rather long and rambly sorry.
aSilverLining · 13/03/2010 22:04
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