I tried ''chatting up'' some men tonight ha ha ha ha !

[poshsinglemum]

One laughed in may face because I told him he looked like Tieri Henri (could be worse!) Another got REALLy aggressive becaue I asked him to buy me a cider (I know it was out of order bu I was being a bit tongie in cheek/ a bit of a chancer). I was just having a laugh basically. Jees there's some angry guys out there, I was taking the piss and not being some soft girly so my response was a bit horrifiing to say the least. If someone tole me I looked like Thierre Henri I'd be made up . Ok - I'm out of practice.

[poshsinglemum]

sorry am drunk which is prob the reason why they saw the need to be aggressive

[BitOfFun]

Why not take NannyNick up on his offer then?

[poshsinglemum]

Nanny Nick?

I wasn't even trying to shag em (that hard!) If I was that desperate I would have sarted dry humping his leg!

Oh god- I am so out of practice!

Even so when some lech comes up to me with some chessy chat up lin eI am supposed to laugh it off.

Sidles off in shame!

[BitOfFun]

Did you not see his offer of a date on your thread then?

Why was it deleted?

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

em.... you asked him to buy you a drink? without him offering?

even being tongue in cheek.... thats rude imo.

i'd say you need to change your approach completely. not get more practice of this sort of behaviour.

[diddl]

Sounds as if they didn´t fancy you, sorry!

[TrillianAstra]

I might be angry too (well, annoyed at least) if some drunk bird asked me to buy her a drink without me having offered, even if she looked like Megan Fox.

[southeastastra]

keep practising, it can only get better

[SerendipitousHarlot]

Mind you, saying that, a friend of mine met her dh when she said 'if you buy me a drink, I'll give you a blowjob'

[cornsilk]

and did she?

[SerendipitousHarlot]

I think she must have! They've been married for 3 years and together for 10...

[cornsilk]

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

serendip ... thats different... she was bargaining... not expecting a freebie

[Snorbs]

(Declaration of interest: I'm a man)

I've had women coming up to me in bars saying "Buy me a drink".

I learnt very early on that that usually (not always, but usually) means "I'm tragically drunk and I want to get drunker. I can't be bothered to pay for my own booze but I've got a massive sense of entitlement plus a pair of tits so as you're a bloke I've decided you're going to buy it for me."

I'm not saying that was what was going on in your mind, poshsinglemum, but that is how such an approach can come across.

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

hear hear snorbs.

out of curiosity posinglemum.... if you wanted to share a drink with the fella... why on earth did you not offer to buy him a drink?

being confident enough to go up and ask him if you can drag him away from his mates to share a drink with you is equally as tongue in cheek and breaking of the normal rules of dating.... yet doesn't come accross as rude.

also.. after spending years working in bars.... there are women who will go on an evening out. without the intention of ever purchasing their own drink. they spend the whole night asking men to buy them drinks. we would see these same girls. every week. frequenting the VIP areas doing this. sometimes they would find someone on first ask who will fund them for the whole evening. other times they will flit between several men.

poshsingle - i am NOT saying you are one of these women... but i hope you realise why this man would give you such a reaction to you asking him to buy you a drink

[AnyFucker]

yep, posh, you should have ofered to buy him a drink

how is you head today ?

and if it was a serious offer from NN, why didn't you accept...and why was the thread deleted ?

btw...you are being discussed on another thread...and some major assumptions are being made...so you better come clean

[heQet]

Next time, if you want to chat up a bloke, offer to buy him a drink.

Or better yet, just sit a bit further up the bar and smile sweetly until he comes over Many men are easily scared

In all seriousness, I have noticed that a large number of men seem to feel - afraid? worried? unsettled? by a woman approaching them in such a ballsy way. Maybe it's years of being told that the man does the chasing?

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

heqet - i have similar bar technique.. except... i squeeze in to the spot right beside the gentleman. apologise profusely while smiling sweetly..

if it goes well. you will be arguing over who is paying for the drinks 5 mins later

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

add to that... the gentleman thinks he has done the chasing as it was just a fantastic coincidence you were at the excact spot in the queue as he was when you "bumped" into each other

[sincitylover]

also you can't go out to a bar with any serious intention of meeting someone for something serious - if you do its a bonus but can't be the aim of the evening.

Or am I showing my age by dismissing the idea of being on the pull. I have done it but wouldn't consider it now.

[heQet]

yes. My caveman of a husband says that women who approach men are scary and unfeminine and when he has been approached by a woman it has put him right off because it should be him approaching. (I choose to assume that he means prior to our marriage. )

I think men scare easy. but it doesn't matter because they only ever think they're in control anyway.

[poshsinglemum]

Hi all,

Not sure about the other thread. Don't really care. But who is that Nick person?

I have reflected on last night's behaviour. I didn't even fancy those men I spoke to last night. I mix with men so raely nowadays and I really miss their company so on a night out I am like an excited child in a sweet shop and a little bit mental. I was only trying a bit of friendly banter and if I got a snog/shag it would be a bonus.

It was very rude of me to ask that guy for a drink but I was tongue in cheek and I was taken aback by how aggressive he got. Everyone goes on about how men like to be protective but tbh I don't feel very protected by such men. He could have just looked at me and rolled eyes and walked off thinking not another stupid drunk bird. He didn't need to get so vicious.

As for the otehr guys I think it's a compliment to be told you look like Tierre Henry. They were probably laughing at me because I was no doubt I was 100 times more stupid tahn I remember.

In conclusion I think that the men I spoke to need to get over themselves. I am bad at being the little coy girl fluttering her eyelashes in the corner but I don't really want to morph into the annoying ladette either..

I just felt dissapointed that the men I spoke to couldn't even be a little bit friendly and chivalrous or even just ignore me.

I guess if a drunk came to me in a bar I would be pissed off.

I just can't even find nice men to be mates with thees days. They all seem a bit cruel and up themselves tbh.

[Hullygully]

Poor old you. I think a complete rethink is in order. It's okay to carry on as you did up to the age of about 16, but really not beyond that. Why not try to not be completely drunk (a horrible turn off) but just have one for bravery, and then try a simple, "Hi." The reaction to just that will tell you everything you need to know with no risk of humiliation.

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

poshsinglemum - em.... how do i ask this nicely. you say your not a ladette? but when you go out and night. even to meet people to be friends regardless if it goes somewhere else.... do you get very drunk?

"I guess if a drunk came to me in a bar I would be pissed off. "

are you the drunk person who comes into the bar and pisses everyone off.

just food for though if you are intending to make friends... never mind anything more??

no ones saying you need to be coy and flutter your eyelids.

but... why would these gentlemen be expected to show you their manners and be chivlerous if you are making rude requests and doing the other annoying things overly drunk people do??