Ahem.. lessons in 'slut speak', please!

[SheWillBeLoved]

How many of you freely talk 'dirty' with your partners?

It occurred to me the other day that besides the odd mumble of something filthy when we're doing the jigjig or he's trying it on, we don't talk about that sort of thing.

Neither of us have ever mentioned the lack of saucy texts to brighten up a work day, or the email containing details of what we're going to do when the other gets home etc... but I can't help feel like it's something that we should be doing now and again..?

Sex life is fine, no complaints there. Very affectionate with each other, it's sort of sickly actually. Currently 21 weeks pregnant with our first child, and I suppose I'm feeling the need to spice things up a bit before all we talk about nothing but shitty nappies and argue over whether it was a smile or wind.

The thought of sending him a text suggesting that I'm doing anything but sitting in work, prim and proper, sipping on a cup of tea, fills me with dread though

So how many of you find it easy to do that? Or do you not do it at all and just save it for the bedroom?

[sparkyoldbint]

I have a great sexual relationship with DP and am quite wild in bed (and wherever else we may choose to make love) but have very little need to talk dirty either in or out of bed.

I'm in an LDR so only see him once a fortnight as well and communication is obviously exceptionally important and we text/talk a lot but it tends to be romantic rather than smutty. So it's along the lines of "can't wait to make love to you" or "only x hours until I see you" and once "you're the ultimate sex goddess!". We talked about having phone sex but ended up agreeing it was contrived and just plain daft.

I think you're either into it or you're not and if you're not, so what. It doesn't mean you're sexually inhibited at all and probably says more about the characters of the people involved than anything else.

[girlandboy]

Dh's range of dirty talk is limited to "do you fancy a bit?"

[BitOfFun]

Or "What am I supposed to do with this then?" as he gazes balefully down at his nether regions after a "Maybe later, I just need to check Threads I'm On..."

[WhereTheWildThingsWere]

If it ain't broke.... what are you trying to fix?

[SheWillBeLoved]

Thanks for the replies so far

WTWTW - I suppose it's because I know that deep down, DP is a lot more erm, verbal, than I am in that department. I can't help wonder whether or not he suppresses it for my sake.

I'm not a prude my any means quite the opposite, I just find it difficult to verbalise my wants and needs to him in a sexual way in any situation were I may be away from him and can't see his reaction.

[DrewPWiener]

I just sent dh a VERY amourous email it read thus

" Hi plopper.
any news?
cats in sunshine"

wow. I am sex on legs.

[ninah]

agree with wildthings
or you could just ask him if he fancies a bit of verbal occasionally

[SeeEmilyPlay]

Naughty texts are always a winner - I find it puts the thought in his head for later!

Filthy talk during sex always gets my DP really turned on. Don't feel like you always have to talk filth but it can work wonders!

[toomanydaves]

I recently terrified off an amour with the filth I talked.

He was very romantic and didn't really like dirty words. I think I should have addressed him in a medieval, balladeering way.

Ah well. that doesn't help you does it.

[goodnightmoon]

can you give me some of your filthy lines?

my DH always wants me to talk dirty during sex but I am hopeless at it.

[Ewe]

I find that describing a situation/telling a story is bit more natural than just talking dirty as such. I feel a bit of a twat saying things like "Ooooh, you're huge cock feels amazing" etc. So you could try that if you wanted?

Perhaps read some erotic stories for inspiration?

[Changer001]

I could give you lots of lines as I am sure can many others on her but as ewe says it may feel un natural.
I can link to some written fantasy sites if you like. I write a lot myself andreally enjoy doing it and some times send on to DH who loves it.
We talk dirty in bed quite a lot and have bouts of dirty texting. We are very open about that kind of thing and talk about our sex etc a lot.

[justgaveup]

What about something not so graphically sexual like a text out of the blue from you to him saying:

'i've got plans for you and me tonight...get home, get naked, get in bed...'

or

'how would you feel if I suggested we spend all Saturday afternoon in bed?'

or just a jokey, direct one

'if you get some milk on way home, i'll give you a blow job'

or what about sitting across living room from him and sending him a text saying 'i'm bored, fuck me'

[LaDiDaDi]

Dp sent me some filthy message in a text to the landline so I got the bt woman's voice recting it to me. Very bizarre.

We like dirty talk but sometimes I can find it a bit distracting if things are, ahem, going on a bit, then I can end up thinking more about what I'm going to say next than what's actually going on physically iyswim.

[DegreesMinutesSecondsIsMale]

We do occassional fruity text or emails, using a couple of innoccuous 'code words' for what we're thinking about, or would like to be doing later.

I like justgaveups idea - my 'office' is on floor 3, and LOML is downstairs - time to put that predictive typing to the test...

[SeeEmilyPlay]

I like the milk idea - it would be even better if you pour it away in front of him!

In terms of rude lines, you can't beat 'I want it harder'

[VerynicenonacidicTits]

I had an ex who used to phone me at work and talk dirty to me while he was having a wank

I would be sitting there saying 'uh hu' and 'yes that would be nice, thankyou' while he was telling me in graphic detail, what he was going to do to me when we saw each other again

Just tell him what you are going to do to him, but in detail, eg:

'i am going to take your hard throbbing blah blah and slowly suck...blah de blah...'

My boss used to sit oppoiste me

[BitOfFun]

Were you on speakerphone?

[CharleeInChains]

I called DP up the other day and i was on speakerphone but didn't realise.
DP was in the office with his collegues and his boss and his boss's wife.

Before he could stop me i said 'Hi DP, i have booked us a room at the hotel god i can't wait for it, its going to be so fucking hot'

I just got a mumbeld 'erm Charlee, your on speakerphone in Boss's office'

[VerynicenonacidicTits]

LOL very bridget jonesy that is charlie

bof he was never on speaker phone when he talked dirty but he did ring up one day and broke into song 'your just too good to be true, cant take my eyes off of you.....' so i quickly switched speaker phone on

[lilacclaire]

I like sending a dirty wee text and sometimes propositioning dp very graphically when we are doing some mundane housey thing. It never bloody works though, I think I do it more for the shock factor now, as he's pretty straight laced. sigh.......

[BalloonSlayer]

My DH never has his blardy phone with him, or switched on, or doesn't hear it, should I ever get up enough head of steam to send him a dirty text.

He texted me a "I want to kiss you all over" sort of romantic sexy text as I was going into the supermarket.

So at great personal risk (I was in Waitrose FGS, I kept thinking I'd be slung out if a member of staff looked over my shoulder and saw what I was texting back) I sent him a raunchy one back . . . only to find that he hadn't checked his phone.

[nickschick]

DO NOT NEVER write a slut letter and put it in with dhs sandwiches .....he will put them in a fridge at work and when he returns they will be gone.......you will never attend another xmas dance with his workmates again

[nickschick]

By DrewPWiener on Thu 05-Mar-09 14:20:42
I just sent dh a VERY amourous email it read thus

" Hi plopper.
any news?
cats in sunshine"

wow. I am sex on legs.

drew is the 'cats in sunshine' comment - slut chat??

[jumpingbeans]

I once put a real filthy message in my dh pack lunch, when he got home he did'nt mention it, so I asked him , he never found it, it was not in the box, he bloody lost it, wonder waht whoever found it thought