for all the people who commented on the facebook thread please return ..........

[spogs]

its all come out

[magnolia74]

I didn't comment but I lurked, everything ok?

[spogs]

no feel so confused x

[spogs]

part of me wishes i never snopped but but of me is glad i did and got it all in th open

[Pennies]

I lurked but didn't comment. What has come out? Are you OK?

[spogs]

i told him i knew about the meet up in nov and i asked him so show me his e-mail address messages and he would not

[WideWebWitch]

What, what?

[Pennies]

So do you feel that this proves he's been unfaithful? What is he saying about it all?

[spogs]

he has left after row to go meeting but doubt he will be back and if so where from here?

[spogs]

just sits there like a naughty boy what can he say really but in my eyes if he would not sure me his e-=mails then he is guilty

[Pennies]

Sorry to heat this. It may sound harsh but you say he's done this before and you think he's doing it again. I know it's not easy and is terribly upsetting for you but it sounds like you're better off without him.

[Tinker]

I'm sorry but think it's better out in the open.

[ggglimpopo]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/7/407418 here is your other thread.

[spogs]

in know just feel crap for my kids im just going to bath them and come back on in hour xxxx

[spogs]

back now anyone around to talk

[skidoodle]

spogs have you asked him to go to relationship counselling with you? It really sounds as though you guys have a lot to work out and with kids in the picture you should make sure to do it in the most productive way possible.

[PregnantGrrrl]

i think it's for the best that you were upfront- it's upto him to show you the same maturity and respect now.

Sorry didn't see this last night- how are you today?

[spogs]

pretty confused today i know we should go the councilling route but not sure how a councillor can stop him doing it when the thought of loosing hiskids dont

[spogs]

these people who create these sights need to realise that it wrecks peoples lives

[PregnantGrrrl]

it's people who wreck their lives spogs- a website can't be blamed. DH and i both use myspace and facebook, and we don't behave like he has. HE is responsible for his own behaviour, don't let him fool you otherwise.

[spogs]

i know but i cant help but feel hatred towards these companies.. but your right he is soley responsible i just wish he would take a relality check

[PregnantGrrrl]

do you actually know he has been unfaithful, or is he just refusing to discuss it or show you the emails?

is it possible he's just angry at the snooping, or do you think he's done something?

[spogs]

i dont for one minute think he has been un faithful not physically anyway just i think on this msn address he has he says there are around 20 odd women on there that he instant messages every now and then

[spogs]

as for meeting with his ex what the message said on facebook he CLAIMS whether it is true that he was not going to meet her anyway and it was agroup meeting with a few people not just him but how can i believe him when all he has done is lie recently

[spogs]

he refuses to show me his private msn address as he feels 1. its private and agrees that 2. i would not be comfortable with whats on there he said all it is messages that are of a flirtacious nature

[jennypenguin]

I think it is very hard to ever trust someone again after they have deliberately lied to you about something that you feel is important, whether it involves another woman or not. If someone loves you, they should be honest with you. Even if it causes a big argument at the time it is better than weeks of suspicion, snooping and ultimately the truth coming out anyway. Some people are naturally suspicious, or have had a bad experience which has turned them suspicious, and true love means helping them through it, not using it as an excuse to keep secrets.
Hope you can manage to work this out though, whichever way suits you best x