Feelin really shitty today - first family party since the split come and talk to me! (really long sorry x)

[DavidTennantsMistress]

it's been 4 weeks now since H's shock announcment that he wanted a divorce. I have been home since that day and gone back to the house twice. once leaving after an awful arguement. anyhow, today my DB and his GF brought their scan pics down (12 week ones) for all to see - I want to get intrested and involved but it's just so hard for me to - I had a m/c 1st sept, I was 4 weeks further on than SIL.

all I keep thinking is I should be ahving my scan pics, I should be 16 weeks PG by now and happy at home with my husband

saw H yesterday and things are pretty set. he's sure this is what he wants but there's spo many un answered q's for me - I want to move forward but can't for the mo - he won't change his living status so I can't get an eviction notice, the council won't help me and now my parents are getting funny.

I don't know what will become of us (DS and I) or where we'll end up - and it scares the life out of me. I know I have a good support network in RL, with family althou not really any friends here any more.

I went to a fmaily party tonight hoping to at least have a smile and ended up coming home after 1 drink and an hour - what good is going out if your make up looks crap cos you're crying??

to make things worse tonight i've texted H and asked if he's sure this is what he wants and if he's happier without us there - the hosue is such a shit tip it's unbeleiveable. i'm ment to be moving back there next week till we get evicted (prob 4 months ish) and will have to stay there alone all over the xmas period . have had no reply form H - it's not reached his phone I assumne he's in his room - in which case he's doing god knows what wiht god knows whom after going out on the piss last night.

[TotalChaos]

sorry you are having such a grim time of it. is there anyone in your family you can speak to about all your fears, hopefully they can reassure you that your family are there for you. sorry not got anything more helpful to say, not really got relevant experience.

[DavidTennantsMistress]

not really all they keep saying is it's for the best everything happens for a reason or don't dwell on the past ffs 6 weeks ago I lost a baby 4 weeks ago I lost a husband.

[law3]

i feel for you, split up with my h about 3-4 weeks ago, ive also had 3 mc's in the past, so know how terrible it makes you feel, havent got any really good advice, other than time is a great healer, not what you want to hear right now i know

[DavidTennantsMistress]

this is my third m/c as well law.

[DavidTennantsMistress]

sorry to hear of your split as well.

[law3]

just try to keep busy is about best advice for now

[xXxamyxXx]

why are you getting evicted really sorry your going throgh such a hard time be strong for your ds

[DavidTennantsMistress]

we're forces (well H is) we can't have a house if we're not together.

all I keep being told is (by my family) they don't understand he must have someone else - hardly what I want to hear - esp to be told it over and over

tryin to keep busy but this mile stone for SIL, coupled with a fmaily party where everyone is in couples was too much

[xXxamyxXx]

hugs!has he givin you any explanation how were things before he did this

[DavidTennantsMistress]

were a bit a rough patch but no not really, he's saying I don't love you any more end of no discussions etc. won't try etc. I need to discuss things if only for closure - apparently thou I talk shit when I tell him what I think/open my heart to how i feel.

[xXxamyxXx]

thats terrible he at the very least owes you an explanation!

[DavidTennantsMistress]

I know i'm being told nothing so far. I know he's unhappy etc but he doesn't seem to be any happier without us there.

[DavidTennantsMistress]

well he did ring in the end, was insistant about his wereabouts last night/why he'd not answered the phone. asked why i'd rung/texted him - said I was checking on the dogs. then said goodbye

today's been shitty after a severe lack of sleep thou.

[debbsyandsonn]

oh hun im so sorry your going through this crap what a bastard he is being ,tosser!How are things today?? xxx

[DavidTennantsMistress]

getting there thanks bit better- met with the muppetmuggle from here which was nice.

moving back on fri so physcing up for it - have a mate going theru the exact same (3 weeks diff between us) so we're keeping each other going for the mintue tbh. H is completely broke - it's nice to finally have some cash in the abnk - guess we all knew who spent it before!

[DavidTennantsMistress]

(ooh but cheered up by hearin DT is now single - am v tempted to hop on a plane to LA to look him out! )

[saltire]

What's he doing in LA? I thought he was on stage in hamlet?

Anyway, I know who you are/were now, really sorry to hear about all your troubles. i have been wondering why I hadn't seen you around on MN>

[DavidTennantsMistress]

well according to my sources (ie the sun! lol) he's in LA at the mo and dumped her over the phone - git - but anyhow he's lovely and i'm sure if I flew out there strech marks and all! lol.

ahy H was reading posts.

[saltire]

Ah right, I read something aobut him in the Sunday mail and he was thanking his Scots fans (that'll be me then) for donating to an appeal for National Hospices day in Scotland
here's a link if you're interested No mention of Sophie watserace though. he did go our with Art Mailks daughter for years as well.

Hope you get things sorted out, are you really on your own over Christmas, have you no family nearby that could come

[debbsyandsonn]

you sound really strong and positive,good for you with the cash go and treat yourself you deserve it.Im glad you are getting lots of support so are you going back to Wales then?

[DavidTennantsMistress]

not wales anymore debs moved here last aug! we're in dorset now with tori32, and shoshable so have good mates close by. am going to offer H to sleep on the sofa xmas eve and have xmas day with us so he can see DS, and then he can bugger off to him mums on boxing day for the remainder of his leave as my family will be up boxing day - for a stay and i'll be off to my brothers (we're gate crashing/invited ourselves me and mum) for NYE for a few days so won't be alone as such - did want to come home but dad will not have my dogs about in the hosue (they pulled up his plant bulbs last time lol)

re DT- art who? no idea who that is. love DT's accent thou sooooo sexy scottish. ahem anyhow!

debs yes enjoying finally haveing some cash without thinking I really must get the food shopping today otherwise H will spend it all. (his acocunt was O/D 4 days after payday - goes to show you eh!)

[JARM]

He is a prize wanker.

End of.

Concentrate on you and the boy and he can shove it.

And just out of interest - in the last 4 weeks, how much has he seen of the boy?!

[DavidTennantsMistress]

the fri avo we (he) ended it for approx 2 hours. 2 weeks later fri mornign and 3/4 of the afternoon did bath/bed etc, and about an hour in the sat am before I stormed off.
this fri just gone in the afternoon well from 1-6 when we came home. has spoken to him about 4/5 times on theh phone as well but not much.

keeps trying to keep me tlaking on the phone thou and i'm like what i'm not intrested seriously I don't care. (honest )

[JARM]

so he has hardly seen him, barely spoken to him and yet wants to keep you on the phone?!

He is a twat. I know you love him, and he is the boys dad, but I really dont know why you want him back. He has been such a tosser.

Chin up babe, i know its hard, but you are strong enough to deal with this!

[DavidTennantsMistress]

basically yep.

tbh I think he is realiseing he's done somehting hasty but doesn't know how to fix it so will go on wiht things as they are iycwim.

he hasn't even cleaned the old fridge out after the new one (I know I could have but events over ook) it was turned off and left you can imagion the state of it - I don't care not my fridge! lol. not me and DS eating food from it. seriously it should be condemmed thou!

I knwo going back is hte easy option but we've been together for the last 8 years - literlly 6 of those have been jsut me and him 200 miles from all of our family being left to get on wiht things. it's the end of an era really for me. and the future is quite daunting.

I knwo we'll be ok thou. didn't view the pte house last night in the end - if I like it I can't have it yet so would rather not know! lol. am going to save the money up up there for new stuff (while H is paying the bills! lol) then come down.